Sorry it's come to this.
I don't know about the door but you could test the closet bar by placing the rope underneath your armpits and the other end over the bar. Lift your legs and see if it holds.
Or even just trying to do some pull-ups. Since it's a closet bar it may not be designed to hold the weight of a human.
Actually maybe just hide the rope and try pull-ups. If you come crashing down someone may hear you.
Also prolonged weight could make a difference as well.
Are there any bars or beams in your basement. (If you are in a house)
One more thing, I wouldn't get too drunk as you could fail. Maybe just a buzz.
Maybe someone else has a better suggestion.