Help CTB opportunity in a couple days

[peewee]

I have an opportunity on the 23rd to CTB, my method is FSH, I have a garage with beams I can hang to rope on, was going to do forest but Im struggling finding a good tree I can access properly, also Im worried about who might find me, like I dont want a kid to find me though thats really unlikely (its winter and no one is really here its very rural). Anyway, I have some codiene phosphate and co codamol and cbd oil to help reduce pain and panic. I was thinking of putting ear buds in and listening to relaxing affirmations or music or something.
The only thing is I will be found by a loved one and I dont want to traumatize them, but I'm also pretty desperate. This will be my only chance for the garage, other wise I will have to find a place in the forest. I feel strangely excited knowing I could be gone in a few days....conflicted feelings
I have so many reasons to cbt but I think my si is kicking in, but if I need to I think I can override it by focusing on the things I spend most of my time dissasosciating from

 

[Terrible_Life_99]

Hi, I wish you a peaceful attempt. Hopefully you won't suffer too long and will get unconscious very fast.
Which knot will you use for the anchor point and which one for the noose?
How far will be the distance from your body to the ground when you hang fully? I hope its not too little because that could lead to it that you will stay with your foot on the ground because rope might stretch and also the neck scope will get shorter while hanging.

 

[peewee]

I will use a boline for the anchor, noose knot with stopper, the beams are quite high and im small, the rope is static so should stretch at all, I will need a step ladder to reach it and then will step down gradually , if i can go through with it
*shouldnt stretch

 

[darksouls]

however you decide,
I wish you the best, I hope you find relief from suffering

 

[Terrible_Life_99]

I will use a boline for the anchor, noose knot with stopper, the beams are quite high and im small, the rope is static so should stretch at all, I will need a step ladder to reach it and then will step down gradually , if i can go through with it
*shouldnt stretch

Your plan sounds very much like my one. I also will use a beam and I'll use a ladder . I plan to push the ladder far away while stepping so I won't be able to put my foot on the ladder steps because si will probably force me to do that.

 

[peewee]

Your plan sounds very much like my one. I also will use a beam and I'll use a ladder . I plan to push the ladder far away while stepping so I won't be able to put my foot on the ladder steps because si will probably force me to do that.

Im sorry your at the point of feeling like you have to do it too