ctb October 4...jumping

[Defenestration]

ctb October 4? a new opportunity? hello, always the same in law terrace 60 m high the possibility of ctb Friday October 4. I will land either on grass or hard ground...difficult to aim. I will especially try to ensure that nothing slows down my fall...
@vak
@vak

 

[FuneralCry]

I hope you find peace, best wishes.

 

[Defenestration]

I Hope to do this

 

[Agon321]

Good luck.

 

[SVEN]

Best wishes, whatever you decide on the 4th.

 

[ramon]

I hope you find peace, best wishes.

I back this one up.

 

[Defenestration]

I was very determined and now that the guard has set a date for me I'm starting to get anxious... deep down I am certain that I want to die and that this is the best solution, I am convinced of it. death IS the solution... I hope the SI won't be too strong..

 

[Agon321]

I was very determined and now that the guard has set a date for me I'm starting to get anxious... deep down I am certain that I want to die and that this is the best solution, I am convinced of it. death IS the solution... I hope the SI won't be too strong..

In what sense did the guard assign you a date, if I may ask?

 

[Defenestration]

In what sense did the guard assign you a date, if I may ask?

I contact him, I give him my availability and he his... but I have already been there twice and once I canceled. I think it's the last chance for a while...he won't go without this every 4 mornings. I gave him 3 bottles of very good wine to thank him...

 

[Agon321]

I contact him, I give him my availability and he his... but I have already been there twice and once I canceled. I think it's the last chance for a while...he won't go without this every 4 mornings. I gave him 3 bottles of very good wine to thank him...

But I understand that he doesn't know your plans?
Doesn't he suspect anything?
Maybe if you're hesitating, give yourself a little more time.

 

[vanillamilkshakes]

Goodluck, I hope you find peace

 

[Defenestration]

@RN13 its not laughing

But I understand that he doesn't know your plans?
Doesn't he suspect anything?
Maybe if you're hesitating, give yourself a little more time.

I know Friend of him and i Say that i was a fan of picture/videos

 

[nir]

I contact him, I give him my availability and he his... but I have already been there twice and once I canceled. I think it's the last chance for a while...he won't go without this every 4 mornings. I gave him 3 bottles of very good wine to thank him...

I'm not sure I understand - why is there a guard?

 

[absolutelyyou]

I'm not sure I understand - why is there a guard?

Most places will keep high up open roof tops either locked unless there is maintenance going on or only available to access by people that work or live in a building so I'm guessing the guard he's speaking of is building security that would be in change of letting people onto the rooftop.

 

[Defenestration]

La plupart des endroits garderont les toits ouverts en hauteur, soit verrouillés, à moins qu'il n'y ait des travaux de maintenance en cours, soit accessibles uniquement aux personnes qui travaillent ou vivent dans un bâtiment, donc je suppose que le gardien dont il parle est un agent de sécurité du bâtiment qui serait chargé de laisser les gens accéder au toit.

Yes

 

[nir]

Most places will keep high up open roof tops either locked unless there is maintenance going on or only available to access by people that work or live in a building so I'm guessing the guard he's speaking of is building security that would be in change of letting people onto the rooftop.

Ohhhhh that makes so much sense. Thank you for explaining that to me. I've never been in a tall apartment building before so I had no idea someone would guard the top. Makes sense.

 

[Defenestration]

Help

 

[pumpkins334234]

i am CTB 10/3, see you lol

 

[Defenestration]

method?

 

[Defenestration]

since the guard confirmed (today) I have less desire, it's paradoxical when I had only been waiting for this for days/weeks... I want to die, it's the only solution, I want it... but the closer it gets, the more stressful it is... not really for me but I imagine my body decomposing, the cries of people in the street, the police, the announcement to my parents...the recognition of the body. I'm so jealous of people who die in their sleep or get killed(without torture) or get hit by a car...I almost wish someone would tell me I have terminal cancer and that it would be over in at least 3 weeks I would leave with my loved ones who would come to the hospital and not by dying like a dog by being decapitated...what a horror for the people who see this and for the family...
Very angry to be born...

 

[depthss]

Good luck

 

[moresomorose]

If you're having doubts you should think about it more.

 

[Defenestration]

I need "a Michele carter"

 

[moresomorose]

I need "a Michele carter"

Sorry but I'm quite worried about you. You don't seem at peace with your decision nor with a chosen method. And now you feel like u need someone to encourage you to ctb, while it should be 100% an autonomous decision. I'm just saying, maybe wait and think it out? See if there are other options? The bus will always be there, but what you're gonna do is very permanent, you need to fully understand that.

 

[Defenestration]

I have been suicidal for 20 years. I was not able to jump in June 2023 or April 2024. in 2023 I promised myself that it would be my last year, I didn't succeed... there in 2024 I also promised myself that it would be my last year... if it is the best solution, but there is always the SI

 

[Defenestration]

I don't want to compare the suffering everyone has the right to suffer and there is no suffering worse than others...

but even if it's benevolent, I don't like it when someone who has been depressed for 6 months in their life tells me I too was throwing away like you ...while I have been suffering from bipolarity, social phobia, borderline personality disorder, generalized anxiety for 20 years...

I suffer and hate life so much that I would rather die in my sleep than win 100 million euros .I am extremely jealous when I hear that someone has died.

In 20 years there has not been a year where I have not had strong suicidal desires...I would like to die, I am obsessed by the fact of dying, it is my goal every year I am almost there
but the survival instinct holds me back at the last moment...

I'm afraid of everything all the time I am on social security disability, I receive a disabled adult allowance. a very small, banal thing scares me. I am dependent on parents like a 12 year old child I have been treated since January 2008 by psychiatrists... my situation has only gotten worse. I am full of drugs morning and evening. I am socially isolated, I do not work. the psychologist told me that my situation was complicated and that recovery too, that I had to accept my condition.

and I feel a lot of guilt towards my mother who gave me everything and who has the beginnings of Alzheimer's. I would have loved to never be born, I hate life, I hate it...

but people as long as I haven't committed suicide don't take me seriously or don't realize the degree of my suffering

 

[opheliaoveragain]

wishing you peace. keep us updated if you wish, we care.

 

[Defenestration]

Yes i Say you

 

[Unspoken7612]

I hear what you're saying. It sounds like you are in a lot of pain. It must be really tough.

Jumping from a height is a method where survival instincts are going to be very strong. I don't think it is a matter of "courage" or "willpower" and you shouldn't be harsh on yourself for your pass unsuccessful attempts. Have you considered other options?

 

[Defenestration]

J'entends ce que tu dis. On dirait que tu souffres beaucoup. Ça doit être vraiment dur.

Sauter d'une certaine hauteur est une méthode où l'instinct de survie va être très fort. Je ne pense pas que ce soit une question de « courage » ou de « volonté » et vous ne devriez pas être dur avec vous-même pour vos tentatives infructueuses. Avez-vous envisagé d'autres options ?

No the only Way to die...the most lethal because not N or gun...i dont trust SN( too many failures and not enought peace)
I'm so clumsy that i could miss myself to hangmyself