wanttodie
Enlightened
- Apr 19, 2018
- 1,802
Last seen Yesterday at 11:43 AMHe is alive as he was online earlier today with a different method to CTB x
Last seen Yesterday at 11:43 AMHe is alive as he was online earlier today with a different method to CTB x
I hope he finally had a safe peaceful journey... Rather than wonder how did he get banned or if he self banned himself etc etc .. Let's pray he is at a peaceful place now wherever he is ... My thoughts are with my friend
Omg...I mistook the metoclopromide, I took only half the dosage.
On Friday midnight, I drank half the N, and ended up vomiting what I drank.
I set the cup on my bed frame instead of the windowsill, my dog drank the rest the N and what N was inside me knocked me in and out of sleep. I woke up at one point around 2am with her in my arms, her tongue blue. I looked for the cup and realized what a mistake I had made setting it on the bed frame, my dog drank the remaining N.
I drifted in and out of sleep, I tried messaging my mother but she did not respond. After 12 hours of this, enough of the N had finally left my system and I could climb out of bed. I tried giving my dog CPR during what moments of consciousness I had, but I knew I killed her. My mother finally replied by that time, and she said something about this being a new chapter in my life, and that I will begin a successful career, and that she loves me and will always love me. I didn't feel that way.
I have no money left on my bank account, my dog was dead. I put my dog in a wooden fruit bowl with a cross made from a piece of olive wood from Bethlehem. I wrote a letter apologizing, saying that it was my fault, and that it should have been me who was dead and not her. I promised her I will join her soon. I went on the forums again through my old account, saw that it was locked, and created a new one under the name Stendhal. God is matchless in his irony.
I put my dog in my freezer because I wasn't sure what else to do, rigor mortis had set in and she was already decomposing. I felt nothing but frustration. I got in my car, drove towards my mother's house, and rammed it into her garage. I climbed out of the car, and ran inside the house, smashing as much as I could before the police arrived in 10 minutes.
They took me to the police station, heard my story, then took me to the hospital for poison control, then psyche ward. I was released on Sunday morning back into police custody, then taken to court because of police charges. However, by the time I was taken to court, court was closed, so they sent me to a jail for a night to await trial the next day. The jail was Lindsay Jail, I rode for an hour and a half in a metal box cuffed to a guy who murdered someone and chopped them in 9 pieces. He had been in jail for almost 22 years.
On Monday morning, they took me to the court again from Lindsay Jail. I spent the day there and spoke to legal aid who said they would put in a case for me for bail. I then spoke to a judge who said they would not process my bail today because the bail program was closed, and I would have to wait until tomorrow.
On Tuesday morning, I was taken from the jail to the courthouse again. I secured bail and was released by 2pm. My phone is at Lindsay jail, my car keys and wallet were still in my car which was at the house. I bussed from the courthouse to the police station, where they called a taxi. I waited with the taxi for over 6 hours at my house because I needed a police officer to accompany me while I got my stuff. All I wanted was my car keys(which my condo keys were attached to) and my wallet from my car.
The police never showed up even after 6 hours, saying they had other calls. I was not allowed to contact my folks or I would be arrested again. I also could not come within 500 meters of the property. This was decided by the police. After over 6 hours of waiting, I had the taxi driver call my mother, who began throwing out all my stuff onto the drive way, but they did bring out my car keys and threw it in the car. The car was smashed up and not drivable. I bought it cash, a 2018 Mazda 3 Sport.
I didn't get any of the stuff they threw out except a painting, and I got my car keys, wallet, and Volcano from my car. I hopped back in the taxi and he took me to a nearby lake where I smoked a few cigarettes to calm down. He brought me to my condo after. I paid the taxi driver $275 for the day. He was a family man who was very understanding.
I have no money now, and I have to be at court by 9am tomorrow morning as part of the condition of my bail. I have to meet with the bail program every week until the court date which decides my charges is in a month, which I have no intention of living until.
My dog is dead, my mind is in a completely new place of pure anger and rage. I have already contacted A for another purchase of N.
I am going to meet with the bail program tomorrow. Afterwards, I will clean myself up, put on the only suit I have, and go secure a line of credit.
I will use the line of credit to buy N and finish myself off for good. I'll have to wait until the N arrives to bury my dog. I have no car and I am not legally allowed to drive at the moment, but I will rent a car a soon as I am able to anyways.
I will have to decide what to do with my dog in the meantime. I love my dog, her name is Amber, a white teacup Pomeranian. I hate myself for what I did to her, but I hope I will have a chance to make it up to her in the next life.
I will not keep her waiting for long.
U failed because u throw up or because u didn't finish the 200ml?I also never threw my phone down the storm drain, I decided against that at the last moment, and I simply deleted everything and decided to play some music with it while I took the N.
A has already replied back to me with new payment information. I will send him a payment as soon as I am able.
I would also mention the N was so bitter that I think it is only doable in shot glasses with coke or sprite on the side. I was not able to drink anymore after 100ml despite there being 200ml in the glass. I had scotch which I tried to wash down the taste with, but that only aggravated the vomiting sensation.
If the N fucks up again, I'll probably just jump off a cliff with my dog in a backpack or something.
All that organization for this hell.
For N, my understanding is that only a stat dosage is necessary. U were on a 3 day dosage... How much meto do u need?I failed because I didn't take enough meto, therefore I threw up, and couldn't finish the remaining amount.
I failed because I didn't take enough meto, therefore I threw up, and couldn't finish the remaining amount.
I remember trying to grab a coke from the fridge to wash away the bitterness and hopefully have another go at the remaining amount after vomiting, and I crashed several times on the floor and against the wall. I couldn't touch anymore of the N however. It was just too bitter and I knew it was just cause more vomiting.
I just drank more coke, gave up and wished that what N I had consumed would finish me. The drowsiness kicked in very quickly and I didn't have much more awareness to figure out what to do. Setting the remainder of the N on the bed frame was a mistake that I made in that moment.
Really sorry this happened to you. Between being in jail, being locked up, facing charges, and having your family throw your stuff out like that must have been devastating. I wish you didn't have to go through all of this just because you wanted to end life on your own terms. What is your family arrangement that there is a no contact rule (if you don't mind my asking)?I have suffered a lot in my life but nothing like the last few days. These aren't memories a person is suppose to live with.
Yes.
I'm really deeply sorry and sad, wish i was able to do anything to just make you feel better.I have suffered a lot in my life but nothing like the last few days. These aren't memories a person is suppose to live with.
I also never threw my phone down the storm drain, I decided against that at the last moment, and I simply deleted everything and decided to play some music with it while I took the N.
A has already replied back to me with new payment information. I will send him a payment as soon as I am able.
I would also mention the N was so bitter that I think it is only doable in shot glasses with coke or sprite on the side. I was not able to drink anymore after 100ml despite there being 200ml in the glass. I had scotch which I tried to wash down the taste with, but that only aggravated the vomiting sensation.
I'm at a loss of what to say. I wish I could find the words to bring you some comfort but I doubt they exist. My heart breaks for you. I can't believe you have been treated in such a horrible way. I'm so sorry.I mistook the metoclopromide, I took only half the dosage.
On Friday midnight, I drank half the N, and ended up vomiting what I drank. I knew if I were to drink more, I would just vomit it out. I did not know I mistook the meto at the time.
I set the cup on my bed frame instead of the windowsill, my dog drank the rest the N and what N was inside me knocked me in and out of sleep. I woke up at one point around 2am with her in my arms, her tongue blue. I looked for the cup and realized what a mistake I had made setting it on the bed frame, my dog drank the remaining N.
I drifted in and out of sleep, I tried messaging my mother but she did not respond. After 12 hours of this, enough of the N had finally left my system and I could climb out of bed. I tried giving my dog CPR during what moments of consciousness I had, but I knew I killed her. My mother finally replied by that time, and she said something about this being a new chapter in my life, and that I will begin a successful career, and that she loves me and will always love me. I didn't feel that way.
I checked me metoclopromide prescription, I remember asking for the 10mg per pill, but I actually got 5mg per pill. I never bothered to double check and took the meto thinking it was 10mg per pill the whole time. I realized I just blotched my suicide as badly as I could manage.
I have no money left on my bank account, my dog was dead. I put my dog in a wooden fruit bowl with a cross made from a piece of olive wood from Bethlehem. I wrote a letter apologizing, saying that it was my fault, and that it should have been me who was dead and not her. I promised her I will join her soon. I went on the forums again through my old account, saw that it was locked, and created a new one under the name Stendhal. God is beyond measure in wanton malice, and matchless in his irony.
I put my dog in my freezer because I wasn't sure what else to do, rigor mortis had set in and she was already decomposing. I felt nothing but frustration. I got in my car, drove towards my mother's house, and rammed it into her garage. I climbed out of the car, and ran inside the house, smashing as much as I could before the police arrived in 10 minutes.
They took me to the police station, heard my story, then took me to the hospital for poison control, then psyche ward. I was released on Sunday morning back into police custody, then taken to court because of police charges. However, by the time I was taken to court, court was closed, so they sent me to a jail for a night to await trial the next day. The jail was Lindsay Jail, I rode for an hour and a half in a metal box cuffed to a guy who murdered someone and chopped them in 9 pieces. He had been in jail for almost 22 years. I arrived at the jail, they processed me, and brought me to protected custody. A pod with some 20 rooms and hardly any windows, I shared a cell with an old guy who was convicted for arson for burning up his own trailer. He was very kind to me and give me have of his Twix bar. Other people at the pod were nice to me too, and I needed some human connection after that whole ordeal. I remember breaking down in tears when they invited me into one of the cells and saw that they had books stacked in a corner, almost a miniature library, and invited me to take any book. It was such a beautiful and sad effort that they had going. For a moment, despite what hell I thought I was in, I knew everyone around me had it worse, and they were kind to me nevertheless.
On Monday morning, they took me to the court again from Lindsay Jail. I spent the day there and spoke to legal aid who said they would put in a case for me for bail. I then spoke to a judge who said they would not process my bail today because the bail program was closed, and I would have to wait until tomorrow. They brought me back to Lindsay Jail. Another hour and a half of the metal box, and two hours in processing. I was brought back to Lindsay jail, but because it past 6:30pm and everyone was in their cells, I didn't have a chance to talk again with the same people I met yesterday. But I was tired and slept until 5:30am, when they woke me up.
On Tuesday morning, I was taken from the jail to the courthouse again. I secured bail and was released by 2pm. My phone is at Lindsay jail, my car keys and wallet were still in my car which was at the house. I bussed from the courthouse to the police station, where they called a taxi. I waited with the taxi for over 6 hours at my house because I needed a police officer to accompany me while I got my stuff. All I wanted was my car keys(which my condo keys were attached to) and my wallet from my car.
The police never showed up even after 6 hours, saying they had other calls. I was not allowed to contact my folks or I would be arrested again. I also could not come within 500 meters of the property. This was decided by the police. After over 6 hours of waiting, I had the taxi driver call my mother, who began throwing out all my stuff onto the drive way, but they did bring out my car keys and threw it in the car. The car was smashed up and not drivable. I bought it cash, a 2018 Mazda 3 Sport.
I didn't get any of the stuff they threw out except a painting, and I got my car keys, wallet, and Volcano from my car. In doing so, I had committed more crimes by breaking the no contact obligation, and also entering the property without police presence. My taxi driver thought the whole thing fucked up and ridiculous, but he was sympathetic to me.
I hopped back in the taxi and he took me to a nearby lake where I smoked a few cigarettes to calm down. He brought me to my condo after. I paid the taxi driver $275 for the day.
I have no money now, and I have to be at court by 9am tomorrow morning as part of the condition of my bail. I have to meet with the bail program every week until the court date which decides my charges is in a month, which I have no intention of living until.
My dog is dead, my mind is in a completely new place of pure anger and rage. I have already contacted A for another purchase of N.
I am going to meet with the bail program tomorrow. Afterwards, I will clean myself up, put on the only suit I have, and go secure a line of credit. My credit is very good, I think I will be okay, but we will see.
I will use the line of credit to buy N and finish myself off for good. I have no car and I am not legally allowed to drive at the moment, but I will rent a car a soon as I am able to anyways.
I will have to decide what to do with my dog in the meantime. I love my dog, her name is Amber, a white teacup Pomeranian. I hate myself for what I did to her, but I hope I will have a chance to make it up to her in the next life.
I will not keep her waiting for long.
I'm sorry you had to go through this whole ordeal. Thank you for sharing this with us. Although the attempt was unsuccessful, at least we know that N provided by A is authentic and will hopefully do the trick if consumed in sufficient quantity.I mistook the metoclopromide, I took only half the dosage.
On Friday midnight, I drank half the N, and ended up vomiting what I drank. I knew if I were to drink more, I would just vomit it out. I did not know I mistook the meto at the time.
I set the cup on my bed frame instead of the windowsill, my dog drank the rest the N and what N was inside me knocked me in and out of sleep. I woke up at one point around 2am with her in my arms, her tongue blue. I looked for the cup and realized what a mistake I had made setting it on the bed frame, my dog drank the remaining N.
I drifted in and out of sleep, I tried messaging my mother but she did not respond. After 12 hours of this, enough of the N had finally left my system and I could climb out of bed. I tried giving my dog CPR during what moments of consciousness I had, but I knew I killed her. My mother finally replied by that time, and she said something about this being a new chapter in my life, and that I will begin a successful career, and that she loves me and will always love me. I didn't feel that way.
I checked me metoclopromide prescription, I remember asking for the 10mg per pill, but I actually got 5mg per pill. I never bothered to double check and took the meto thinking it was 10mg per pill the whole time. I realized I just blotched my suicide as badly as I could manage.
I have no money left on my bank account, my dog was dead. I put my dog in a wooden fruit bowl with a cross made from a piece of olive wood from Bethlehem. I wrote a letter apologizing, saying that it was my fault, and that it should have been me who was dead and not her. I promised her I will join her soon. I went on the forums again through my old account, saw that it was locked, and created a new one under the name Stendhal. God is beyond measure in wanton malice, and matchless in his irony.
I put my dog in my freezer because I wasn't sure what else to do, rigor mortis had set in and she was already decomposing. I felt nothing but frustration. I got in my car, drove towards my mother's house, and rammed it into her garage. I climbed out of the car, and ran inside the house, smashing as much as I could before the police arrived in 10 minutes.
They took me to the police station, heard my story, then took me to the hospital for poison control, then psyche ward. I was released on Sunday morning back into police custody, then taken to court because of police charges. However, by the time I was taken to court, court was closed, so they sent me to a jail for a night to await trial the next day. The jail was Lindsay Jail, I rode for an hour and a half in a metal box cuffed to a guy who murdered someone and chopped them in 9 pieces. He had been in jail for almost 22 years. I arrived at the jail, they processed me, and brought me to protected custody. A pod with some 20 rooms and hardly any windows, I shared a cell with an old guy who was convicted for arson for burning up his own trailer. He was very kind to me and give me have of his Twix bar. Other people at the pod were nice to me too, and I needed some human connection after that whole ordeal. I remember breaking down in tears when they invited me into one of the cells and saw that they had books stacked in a corner, almost a miniature library, and invited me to take any book. It was such a beautiful and sad effort that they had going. For a moment, despite what hell I thought I was in, I knew everyone around me had it worse, and they were kind to me nevertheless.
On Monday morning, they took me to the court again from Lindsay Jail. I spent the day there and spoke to legal aid who said they would put in a case for me for bail. I then spoke to a judge who said they would not process my bail today because the bail program was closed, and I would have to wait until tomorrow. They brought me back to Lindsay Jail. Another hour and a half of the metal box, and two hours in processing. I was brought back to Lindsay jail, but because it past 6:30pm and everyone was in their cells, I didn't have a chance to talk again with the same people I met yesterday. But I was tired and slept until 5:30am, when they woke me up.
On Tuesday morning, I was taken from the jail to the courthouse again. I secured bail and was released by 2pm. My phone is at Lindsay jail, my car keys and wallet were still in my car which was at the house. I bussed from the courthouse to the police station, where they called a taxi. I waited with the taxi for over 6 hours at my house because I needed a police officer to accompany me while I got my stuff. All I wanted was my car keys(which my condo keys were attached to) and my wallet from my car.
The police never showed up even after 6 hours, saying they had other calls. I was not allowed to contact my folks or I would be arrested again. I also could not come within 500 meters of the property. This was decided by the police. After over 6 hours of waiting, I had the taxi driver call my mother, who began throwing out all my stuff onto the drive way, but they did bring out my car keys and threw it in the car. The car was smashed up and not drivable. I bought it cash, a 2018 Mazda 3 Sport.
I didn't get any of the stuff they threw out except a painting, and I got my car keys, wallet, and Volcano from my car. In doing so, I had committed more crimes by breaking the no contact obligation, and also entering the property without police presence. My taxi driver thought the whole thing fucked up and ridiculous, but he was sympathetic to me.
I hopped back in the taxi and he took me to a nearby lake where I smoked a few cigarettes to calm down. He brought me to my condo after. I paid the taxi driver $275 for the day.
I have no money now, and I have to be at court by 9am tomorrow morning as part of the condition of my bail. I have to meet with the bail program every week until the court date which decides my charges is in a month, which I have no intention of living until.
My dog is dead, my mind is in a completely new place of pure anger and rage. I have already contacted A for another purchase of N.
I am going to meet with the bail program tomorrow. Afterwards, I will clean myself up, put on the only suit I have, and go secure a line of credit. My credit is very good, I think I will be okay, but we will see.
I will use the line of credit to buy N and finish myself off for good. I have no car and I am not legally allowed to drive at the moment, but I will rent a car a soon as I am able to anyways.
I will have to decide what to do with my dog in the meantime. I love my dog, her name is Amber, a white teacup Pomeranian. I hate myself for what I did to her, but I hope I will have a chance to make it up to her in the next life.
I will not keep her waiting for long.
We have to take everyone as genuine on here.Take what he says with a pinch of salt not sure he is genuine
We have to take everyone as genuine on here.
OP, I'm so sorry about your dog. Maybe Amber sort of knew and wanted to be with you. Dogs really so sense these things.
Sending love your way ❤
[/QUOTE
I agree however facts are he was last seen as original poster 5 minutes before new account set up despite all that happened
I personally will remain sceptical to the fact that others believe he bought genuine products etc and actually maybe false
I mistook the metoclopromide, I took only half the dosage.
On Friday midnight, I drank half the N, and ended up vomiting what I drank. I knew if I were to drink more, I would just vomit it out. I did not know I mistook the meto at the time.
I set the cup on my bed frame instead of the windowsill, my dog drank the rest the N and what N was inside me knocked me in and out of sleep. I woke up at one point around 2am with her in my arms, her tongue blue. I looked for the cup and realized what a mistake I had made setting it on the bed frame, my dog drank the remaining N.
I drifted in and out of sleep, I tried messaging my mother but she did not respond. After 12 hours of this, enough of the N had finally left my system and I could climb out of bed. I tried giving my dog CPR during what moments of consciousness I had, but I knew I killed her. My mother finally replied by that time, and she said something about this being a new chapter in my life, and that I will begin a successful career, and that she loves me and will always love me. I didn't feel that way.
I checked me metoclopromide prescription, I remember asking for the 10mg per pill, but I actually got 5mg per pill. I never bothered to double check and took the meto thinking it was 10mg per pill the whole time. I realized I just blotched my suicide as badly as I could manage.
I have no money left on my bank account, my dog was dead. I put my dog in a wooden fruit bowl with a cross made from a piece of olive wood from Bethlehem. I wrote a letter apologizing, saying that it was my fault, and that it should have been me who was dead and not her. I promised her I will join her soon. I went on the forums again through my old account, saw that it was locked, and created a new one under the name Stendhal. God is beyond measure in wanton malice, and matchless in his irony.
I put my dog in my freezer because I wasn't sure what else to do, rigor mortis had set in and she was already decomposing. I felt nothing but frustration. I got in my car, drove towards my mother's house, and rammed it into her garage. I climbed out of the car, and ran inside the house, smashing as much as I could before the police arrived in 10 minutes.
They took me to the police station, heard my story, then took me to the hospital for poison control, then psyche ward. I was released on Sunday morning back into police custody, then taken to court because of police charges. However, by the time I was taken to court, court was closed, so they sent me to a jail for a night to await trial the next day. The jail was Lindsay Jail, I rode for an hour and a half in a metal box cuffed to a guy who murdered someone and chopped them in 9 pieces. He had been in jail for almost 22 years. I arrived at the jail, they processed me, and brought me to protected custody. A pod with some 20 rooms and hardly any windows, I shared a cell with an old guy who was convicted for arson for burning up his own trailer. He was very kind to me and give me have of his Twix bar. Other people at the pod were nice to me too, and I needed some human connection after that whole ordeal. I remember breaking down in tears when they invited me into one of the cells and saw that they had books stacked in a corner, almost a miniature library, and invited me to take any book. It was such a beautiful and sad effort that they had going. For a moment, despite what hell I thought I was in, I knew everyone around me had it worse, and they were kind to me nevertheless.
On Monday morning, they took me to the court again from Lindsay Jail. I spent the day there and spoke to legal aid who said they would put in a case for me for bail. I then spoke to a judge who said they would not process my bail today because the bail program was closed, and I would have to wait until tomorrow. They brought me back to Lindsay Jail. Another hour and a half of the metal box, and two hours in processing. I was brought back to Lindsay jail, but because it past 6:30pm and everyone was in their cells, I didn't have a chance to talk again with the same people I met yesterday. But I was tired and slept until 5:30am, when they woke me up.
On Tuesday morning, I was taken from the jail to the courthouse again. I secured bail and was released by 2pm. My phone is at Lindsay jail, my car keys and wallet were still in my car which was at the house. I bussed from the courthouse to the police station, where they called a taxi. I waited with the taxi for over 6 hours at my house because I needed a police officer to accompany me while I got my stuff. All I wanted was my car keys(which my condo keys were attached to) and my wallet from my car.
The police never showed up even after 6 hours, saying they had other calls. I was not allowed to contact my folks or I would be arrested again. I also could not come within 500 meters of the property. This was decided by the police. After over 6 hours of waiting, I had the taxi driver call my mother, who began throwing out all my stuff onto the drive way, but they did bring out my car keys and threw it in the car. The car was smashed up and not drivable. I bought it cash, a 2018 Mazda 3 Sport.
I didn't get any of the stuff they threw out except a painting, and I got my car keys, wallet, and Volcano from my car. In doing so, I had committed more crimes by breaking the no contact obligation, and also entering the property without police presence. My taxi driver thought the whole thing fucked up and ridiculous, but he was sympathetic to me.
I hopped back in the taxi and he took me to a nearby lake where I smoked a few cigarettes to calm down. He brought me to my condo after. I paid the taxi driver $275 for the day.
I have no money now, and I have to be at court by 9am tomorrow morning as part of the condition of my bail. I have to meet with the bail program every week until the court date which decides my charges is in a month, which I have no intention of living until.
My dog is dead, my mind is in a completely new place of pure anger and rage. I have already contacted A for another purchase of N.
I am going to meet with the bail program tomorrow. Afterwards, I will clean myself up, put on the only suit I have, and go secure a line of credit. My credit is very good, I think I will be okay, but we will see.
I will use the line of credit to buy N and finish myself off for good. I have no car and I am not legally allowed to drive at the moment, but I will rent a car a soon as I am able to anyways.
I will have to decide what to do with my dog in the meantime. I love my dog, her name is Amber, a white teacup Pomeranian. I hate myself for what I did to her, but I hope I will have a chance to make it up to her in the next life.
I will not keep her waiting for long.
He referenced the N as dog medicine before he attempted. His story is bizarre.How could your dog drink N??