Help Ctb in the next days or life in prison

[decafcoffee]

seems like you have a better chance at rehabilitation than the western world in prison, so i wouldnt be hasty honestly. ive been in terrible living situations all my life but prison can be very good for people if it is properly run. you will certainly get to socialize and relate to people on a whole new level. honestly i would have chosen prison over living with my parents sometimes, just not here in canada. seems like your brain is just immediately panicking and going to the only solution it can think of to avoid facing a scary new experience. maybe it would be really good for you. but even in the western world there are loads of people who want to go to prison rather than face homelessness or other bad situations. dont be afraid to ask for help, im sure there are resources for people in your situation and that can be really valuable support and guidance rather than feeling all alone in the world.

 

[SuiSqueeze92]

It's not hard to find a way to kill yourself in prison... look at Epstein lol.

 

[Quarky00]

Don't SN until you know verdict and conditions .

 

[Walilamdzi]

It's not hard to find a way to kill yourself in prison... look at Epstein lol.

A lot of people say he was killed, and then it was covered up.

 

[Alec]

You said 1-5 years. How does that equal life in prison? Why is Gen Z so stupid?

If you are ok spending 5 years in prison that's your business. Don't go around trying to offend people. Why is your generation so quick to snap at anyone you don't agree with and try to bully everyone to conform to your norms? The OP obviously didn't mean it's the whole life as in literally 80-90 years, they probably meant that it will feel like life because they are not sure how they will be able to go through it and survive it, especially since they probably have mental illnesses too including depression, and going through prison is not gonna do anything good to a person's mental state. If you don't have anything good to comment than don't say anything at all? Have you never heard that? This is a site for suicidal people do you really think it's right to come here and start acting like this? I'm not trying to be mean to you I'm sorry if I'm offending you, I am, but I just want you that there's no point or sense or righteousness in snapping at people.

 

[Disintegration]

Today I received mail from the police, I was charged with drug saling on the darknet (I will not comment further on this) The usual prison sentence is 1-5 years. With my background, it is also possible that I come to forensic psychiatry. I list now two options for which I need your advice.

(It is important to say, that your election does not incite me to Ctb. My decision is reserved for me and free from other opinions. I will value everything here as an opinion, regardless of my)


Option 1: Ctb with Sn
My whole life is a total loss. Like a high speed crash into a wall.

I suffer from several mental disorders like depression, mental pain and beginning psychosis with delusions. No antidepressants help. Very often, really very often I have tried to do something on my own. Starting with moving to my father. This again ended up in a psychiatric ward. 100 times... Arms slashed left and right, shitty flat shares... Everything failed because of my head. And then there's God, I tried that on too. This line is not available. And finally, politics... A disaster. Never again. Also, I am unable to go to school normally. The reasons are all too numerous. Severe depression and laziness, bad combo.
My future is ruined. Years in prison are ahead of me.

Option 2: Continue living

Give life a thousand chances, why? Because I want to be a gardener. The suicidal gardener and prisoner? Wow, that's...

Because I still want to be a writer. Suicidal depressive inmate writer and gardener. That would be a stage-ready prequel... After all, society's celebrating shit as never before. Besides, people (friends and acquaintances) told me that they liked my half-baked writings on Google Doc. But that doesn't count shit! What counts is that people from the INTERNET said them as well. Anyway, they recognized potential (Whatever) . My time, which is coming up if I stay alive, will not be a fairy tale book. Nevertheless I could start again. But I have already tried it so often. Too many times. How am I ever going to get my life back on track. More importantly, HOW CAN I MY UNDERSTAND IN THE ROW? After many unsuccessful therapies from 2015 until now, nothing has helped. None of this will be magicked away in the future, as nice as it might be. Still, I could try it and bleed again. Crying again. As a depressed writer and gardener? Oh, I don't know. If I found my purpose in life, would I find myself?


Thanks to everyone who has read up here. What would you do now if you were in my position. Option 1 or Option 2?

The fact that you're considering your options tells me you should roll with option 2. Gardening is good for the soul, connects you to the earth.... earth smells so good.

 

[FriendofDeath]

WRITE! You could start now, with your dilemma. I hope you're able to make your decision and that you are at peace with it.

 

[Close_to_freedom]

If you are ok spending 5 years in prison that's your business. Don't go around trying to offend people. Why is your generation so quick to snap at anyone you don't agree with and try to bully everyone to conform to your norms? The OP obviously didn't mean it's the whole life as in literally 80-90 years, they probably meant that it will feel like life because they are not sure how they will be able to go through it and survive it, especially since they probably have mental illnesses too including depression, and going through prison is not gonna do anything good to a person's mental state. If you don't have anything good to comment than don't say anything at all? Have you never heard that? This is a site for suicidal people do you really think it's right to come here and start acting like this? I'm not trying to be mean to you I'm sorry if I'm offending you, I am, but I just want you that there's no point or sense or righteousness in snapping at people.

You said a whole lot of nothing, but I'm sure you feel better.

 

[stormy_night]

You could potentially get raped, get into fights, abuse from guards/ prisoners, street drugs in prison and pure boredom. Cockroaches and rats in prison too.

 

[Jessica5]

It's not hard to find a way to kill yourself in prison... look at Epstein lol.

I think there's a 65% chance Epstein was murdered, a 35% chance he was allowed out of prison and isn't even dead, and a 0% chance he committed suicide.

 

[stormy_night]

Be prepare for the worse.

 

[Living sucks]

Can i ask a question? We're you really selling drugs or darknet scamming? I ask because at 18, living at home, where are you getting the drugs to sell?

 

[socrates]

Wait the police sent you a letter? They didn't arrest you? I'm sorry for my skepticism, but you said you have psychosis. I think you should get a second opinion on the letter, have someone else read it. I have my suspiscions that the letter says nothing of the sort. Maybe I'm just being hopeful here, but I wish you peace regardless of your choice.

 

[Deleted member 14386]

If it's a letter saying your stuff got seized in customs, try not to worry too much it happens often, they're often called 'love letters', I've recieved a few myself. Have you been formally charged and taken to a police station for questionting etc? If not I would keep your options wide open and as quarky said, I'd say to do option 2 until you know the verdict, you might get a good lawyer and get off who knows