CTB here in a few hours hopefully

[itsalldark]

Hello guys, this is my first post since officially having my account approved, though I've been frequenting the site pretty hardcore the past few years off and on.
I purchased a bottle of 365 25mg diphenhydramine tablets, am planning to take 152 here within the next half hour or so. I've taken a few things to ease stomach pain (only thing I could find was pepto) and just popped two of my quetiapines with some alcohol. Plan to down the pills with the alcohol after the quetiapines start to kick in.
I know this won't be the most peaceful death by no means.
I'm just really at the end of my rope mentally, but god knows I'm going to miss my family so fucking much. I also want to commend so many of you on here for how gracious of a community you guys are.

 

[SuicidalPlushie]

Hi there, i feel you actually and being on the end of rope is really stressing but i will be here with you to support you and hopefully ease your fears did you left a note to your family that tell them you love them?

 

[itsalldark]

Hi there, i feel you actually and being on the end of rope is really stressing but i will be here with you to support you and hopefully ease your fears did you left a note to your family that tell them you love them?

Yes, though I am a little afraid they are a little short. I've written right at 3 pages worth, with one dedicated to my mother. I hope that everything that I've said helps explain and ease the pain that I know my actions will cause. I feel like I could've filled an entire notebook to them, I just don't have the time sadly. Thank you so much for your response.

 

[FuneralCry]

I know that this life can be unbearable when you suffer so much and I understand being desperate to leave this world. I'm sorry that it has come to this point for you. Living really is so painful. I wish you relief from your suffering in whatever you decide to do.

 

[itsalldark]

I know that this life can be unbearable when you suffer so much and I understand being desperate to leave this world. I'm sorry that it has come to this point for you. Living really is so painful. I wish you relief from your suffering in whatever you decide to do.

I just can't get over how much I hate myself. I can't allow myself to have just a normal life, that's all I want is normalcy. I ruin every chance of it I get. I'm just fed up with myself. Thank so much for your kind words.

 

[SuicidalPlushie]

Yes, though I am a little afraid they are a little short. I've written right at 3 pages worth, with one dedicated to my mother. I hope that everything that I've said helps explain and ease the pain that I know my actions will cause. I feel like I could've filled an entire notebook to them, I just don't have the time sadly. Thank you so much for your response.

It's alright, you have wrote what your heart told you and hopefully it will ease their pain, wish you a peaceful journey and eternal rest. i will be here if you want to change your mind it's still not too late

 

[itsalldark]

It's alright, you have wrote what your heart told you and hopefully it will ease their pain, wish you a peaceful journey and eternal rest. i will be here if you want to change your mind it's still not too late

Thank you so much, I'm just laying in bed at the moment about to smoke a cigarette, just kinda letting my mind wander, quets starting to kick in so I know I have to get ready to start soon. What is crazy though, even though my head is racing somewhat, this is the most my mind has been at peace in nearly 6 years.

 

[Medicmedic72]

Hello guys, this is my first post since officially having my account approved, though I've been frequenting the site pretty hardcore the past few years off and on.
I purchased a bottle of 365 25mg diphenhydramine tablets, am planning to take 152 here within the next half hour or so. I've taken a few things to ease stomach pain (only thing I could find was pepto) and just popped two of my quetiapines with some alcohol. Plan to down the pills with the alcohol after the quetiapines start to kick in.
I know this won't be the most peaceful death by no means.
I'm just really at the end of my rope mentally, but god knows I'm going to miss my family so fucking much. I also want to commend so many of you on here for how gracious of a community you guys are.

I don't think the benadryl is going to do what you think it is. I think you're most likely going to live through it and then you have created more issues for yourself. How much have you looked in to this plan?

Thank you so much, I'm just laying in bed at the moment about to smoke a cigarette, just kinda letting my mind wander, quets starting to kick in so I know I have to get ready to start soon. What is crazy though, even though my head is racing somewhat, this is the most my mind has been at peace in nearly 6 years.

I understand that feeling. My last attempt was completely emotionless. As in it was like I was going to buy a loaf of bread.

 

[itsalldark]

I don't think the benadryl is going to do what you think it is. I think you're most likely going to live through it and then you have created more issues for yourself. How much have you looked in to this plan?

I understand that feeling. My last attempt was completely emotionless. As in it was like I was going to buy a loaf of bread.

Pretty heavily, I should be above the lethal limit if I can keep it all down. I would love to just fall asleep and not wake up, but I know that I'm probably going to be having seizures within the next few hours so that's somewhat daunting, but I can't do this anymore. Can't deal with everything in my head, arguing with myself, hating myself, loving myself.

 

[Alex6216]

Hello guys, this is my first post since officially having my account approved, though I've been frequenting the site pretty hardcore the past few years off and on.
I purchased a bottle of 365 25mg diphenhydramine tablets, am planning to take 152 here within the next half hour or so. I've taken a few things to ease stomach pain (only thing I could find was pepto) and just popped two of my quetiapines with some alcohol. Plan to down the pills with the alcohol after the quetiapines start to kick in.
I know this won't be the most peaceful death by no means.
I'm just really at the end of my rope mentally, but god knows I'm going to miss my family so fucking much. I also want to commend so many of you on here for how gracious of a community you guys are.

You do realise 3.8g/152 diphenhydramine tablets wont kill you. You need 4 grams/160 tablets to even think of dying and even then it will be a horrible death. The ASH wiki on the suicide resource compilation has a list of tablets that can kill you, maybe look there...

 

[Medicmedic72]

You do realise 3.8g/152 diphenhydramine tablets wont kill you. You need 4 grams/160 tablets to even think of dying and even then it will be a horrible death. The ASH wiki on the suicide resource compilation has a list of tablets that can kill you, maybe look there...

Where is this? Can you give a link?

 

[Alex6216]

Where is this? Can you give a link?

Go to suicide discussion, look at the stick thread, go on the post named suicide resources compilation and scroll down until you see the link named "Ash suicide wiki". You can also download the PPeH off the sticky thread, that has some useful info

 

[Graytaichi]

It will definately hurt your heart lungs liver that use to transport oxygen. diphenhydramine is use to treat insomania. One slab is definately not going to kill you but 365 pills is definately x 10 the effect , anything that is taken at huge levels definately not able to ctb but hurt u even futher. Its more likely to cause drowning is scientific studies. So in concern and care i sinceely hope u dont do that.

 

[Seeking_Peace]

Not going to work.

 

[Painnomore]

Hey man, are you still with us?