CTB Date Planned

[Gordy99]

Just to be clear this is not a goodbye thread. My CTB date is 9/30/22. I'm tired of the nonsense and have no life. No friends, don't care about my family, don't care about my job, and basically don't care about anything. I am just passing time. The only thing keeping me alive is the small hope that I will be provided closure (you can search for my other threads). If I don't get closure by 9/30/22 then I am going to CTB. I have waited three years and I refuse to wait past 9/30/22.

I wish I could create my own closure. I wish I could ignore the fact that I am currently being denied closure for reasons unknown to me. I'm done leaking details about the elaborate investigation taking place in my life. I tried to create motivation to move things forward and it doesn't appear to be working. I'm just lost and living past 9/30/22 is pointless.

The only way I stay alive and recover is if I am provided closure before 9/30/22.

 

[VoidDesirer22]

Why so far? I'm just curious. I am not encouraging an earlier ctb.
Cheers

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm sorry that you are suffering. I know that it can be hard to carry on when you are tired of everything. I am also only passing time as well, I see my life as being very pointless. I wish you the best in whatever happens.

 

[Gordy99]

Why so far? I'm just curious. I am not encouraging an earlier ctb.
Cheers

Good question. I am giving a certain group of people the opportunity to provide me closure. Another six months is a reasonable amount of time in my opinion. They are watching this so it's now known to them my plan.

Also, without going into my finances I need time to withdraw my life savings in cash. I don't feel like making a will. I prefer to withdraw the money in cash which will take some time so I can deliver it to a family member the day before I CTB. I don't have any debt but I fear the government will seize my bank accounts or tie up the money in court for a period of time before my family can claim it. Again, I just prefer to withdraw the cash.

Lastly, I have to prepare my CTB method which I have in mind. This will also take time. Six months from now just works for me I guess. Maybe I will be surprised and closure will be provided before the CTB date.

 

[Al_stargate]

I can't view your profile to see other threads you wrote. Can you link it? But if you're hoping for others to give you something or save you, you're most likely gonna be disappointed. That's just how it is. People only give a shit about themselves. Don't make decisions based on getting the reaction of others, I made a big mistake like that. But anyway, I don't know anything about your situation so don't take it the wrong way. Wish you peace and that you find what you're looking for.

 

[Gordy99]

I can't view your profile to see other threads you wrote. Can you link it? But if you're hoping for others to give you something or save you, you're most likely gonna be disappointed. That's just how it is. People only give a shit about themselves. Don't make decisions based on getting the reaction of others, I made a big mistake like that. But anyway, I don't know anything about your situation so don't take it the wrong way. Wish you peace and that you find what you're looking for.

Just do a search for Weird Situation in the search box and you will find the thread in the recovery section. I'm trying to be vague by referring to them as a group of people. I can't really go into those details. I know that this particular group of people can provide closure. If they aren't going to by 9/30/22 then they were never going to. I appreciate your opinion but I have nothing left to live for without the closure. My life literally can't move forward unless I get this closure.

 

[Al_stargate]

Just do a search for Weird Situation in the search box and you will find the thread in the recovery section. I'm trying to be vague by referring to them as a group of people. I can't really go into those details. I know that this particular group of people can provide closure. If they aren't going to by 9/30/22 then they were never going to. I appreciate your opinion but I have nothing left to live for without the closure. My life literally can't move forward unless I get this closure.

Sorry man, read your post and some other ones as well on the first page. I've seen thousands of adult videos and pictures but could never recognize any of those women if I saw them on the street. In your writing, you seem sane even tho your experiences are hard to believe. I once had a complete stranger call me by a derogatory nickname I had as a kid and I remember how it affected me for a while after. I was thinking how does he know, are there people laughing and talking bad about me behind my back. It messed with me for a bit. But anyway, I understand it can get inside the head. You have to decide for yourself is it worth giving a shit about. For some perhaps it's too much of a humiliation while others could brush it off. Maybe you tried or already moved somewhere else to see if things change. I guess trying to rationally approach the thing. Trying to get others to tell you what they haven't so far is unlikely. Anyway, sorry for your pain, wish you well!

 

[Gordy99]

Sorry man, read your post and some other ones as well on the first page. I've seen thousands of adult videos and pictures but could never recognize any of those women if I saw them on the street. In your writing, you seem sane even tho your experiences are hard to believe. I once had a complete stranger call me by a derogatory nickname I had as a kid and I remember how it affected me for a while after. I was thinking how does he know, are there people laughing and talking bad about me behind my back. It messed with me for a bit. But anyway, I understand it can get inside the head. You have to decide for yourself is it worth giving a shit about. For some perhaps it's too much of a humiliation while others could brush it off. Maybe you tried or already moved somewhere else to see if things change. I guess trying to rationally approach the thing. Trying to get others to tell you what they haven't so far is unlikely. Anyway, sorry for your pain, wish you well!

I have watched plenty of adult videos and never recognized any of the women on the street either. I'm a guy and unfortunately tons of men and women on the street have recognized me because of this content. I have been laughed at, mocked, ridiculed, and stared at. I have been able to accept that the content is out there and will never really go away. It will probably follow me for the rest of my life. What I can't accept is being denied closure. Just sit me down and show me the content and write me a check.

By the way, I have moved quite a bit in the last handful of years. It follows me everywhere I go.

 

[LeavingEarly]

Just to be clear this is not a goodbye thread. My CTB date is 9/30/22. I'm tired of the nonsense and have no life. No friends, don't care about my family, don't care about my job, and basically don't care about anything. I am just passing time. The only thing keeping me alive is the small hope that I will be provided closure (you can search for my other threads). If I don't get closure by 9/30/22 then I am going to CTB. I have waited three years and I refuse to wait past 9/30/22.

I wish I could create my own closure. I wish I could ignore the fact that I am currently being denied closure for reasons unknown to me. I'm done leaking details about the elaborate investigation taking place in my life. I tried to create motivation to move things forward and it doesn't appear to be working. I'm just lost and living past 9/30/22 is pointless.

The only way I stay alive and recover is if I am provided closure before 9/30/22.

What is your method?

 

[Gordy99]

What is your method?

My method is N. I still have to obtain it but that is what I plan on using.

 

[Crazy4u]

You seem like a reasonable person. Life sucks. I hope you find the closure you deserve soon

 

[BigGimpin]

My method is N. I still have to obtain it but that is what I plan on using.

Same here, sourcing N isnt easy though. If you find a source keep me posted, I will do the same.

 

[Gordy99]

You seem like a reasonable person. Life sucks. I hope you find the closure you deserve soon

Thanks. Life does suck. And I hope I get the closure soon. Time will tell.

Same here, sourcing N isnt easy though. If you find a source keep me posted, I will do the same.

I will keep you posted.