Story CTB ATTEMPT PUT ME IN CUFFS AND STRIP SEARCHED

[Octavina]

Hi SS family, currently writing this as I am waiting to be taken to A and E to have an X ray after being accused by a private psychiatric ward of concealing a toothbrush.
my life is chaos right now, 36 hours ago I took 25mg diazepam
5 mg lorazepam
A bottle of 4% cider
Walked to my nesrest park with my chair, tied a shitty noose and kicked the chair.
I messed up badly, I had a pre made slip knot but cut it too short so I couldn't attach it to the thick tree branch. So I made a quick one
It was extremely windy, and felt the effects of the pills so quickly that my judgment became cloudy but I felt relaxed and my heart stopped racing.i was in the air for a couple seconds when I heard this lady screaming and a stranger holding me up I pleaded them to let me go
This is my fault I traumatized that poor lady she was just walking her dog.
I'm sectioned in a private ward, up to 28 days
glad my SN didn't come full suspension is my method now, once discharged I will go to a secluded forest at night
These shitty staff accused me of hiding and knowing where the toothbrush is when I suffer with gaps in my memory from sédative abusé. I got shouted at, strip searched nude, I feel violated and like a criminal. I now have to wait for A&E to get an XRay so I can prove my innocence that I didn't consume or shove up up my privates. Because of this experience alone I will be appealing my section and writing a formal complaint for this unneeded stress I've had to endure.
tne whole world is against me, even nirses taking away my free will, and my suicide note for my family was confiscated.
I am on 1:1 supervision
I am now refusing to take my medication so F**k them. I also shut down emotionally I stop talking, and eating. Please send me kind words, I've lost everything and everyone

 

[WornOutLife]

Omg that sounds terrible!
I'm so sorry you're going through this!!

I can do nothing but send you lots of good vibes and hope things can improve somehow.

At least you have your phone so, you can vent and talk to us as much as you want to!!

Feel free to pm me whenever you want!

Hugs,

Matt

 

[puppet_nihilist]

Jesus that's fucked up, my heart churned up when I read through it. Really I am sorry you have to go through this torture. Hope you can get some peace eventually.

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm sorry you are in this position, this life certainly is cruel. If only we lived in a world where we had a right to die in peace. It should be a basic human right. There is literally no difference between being in jail and being sectioned. I wish you the best and I hope you can get free from your situation. Nobody should be treat like that, it is inhumane.

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

What the actual fuck? These normies are out of control.

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

Hi SS family, currently writing this as I am waiting to be taken to A and E to have an X ray after being accused by a private psychiatric ward of concealing a toothbrush.
my life is chaos right now, 36 hours ago I took 25mg diazepam
5 mg lorazepam
A bottle of 4% cider
Walked to my nesrest park with my chair, tied a shitty noose and kicked the chair.
I messed up badly, I had a pre made slip knot but cut it too short so I couldn't attach it to the thick tree branch. So I made a quick one
It was extremely windy, and felt the effects of the pills so quickly that my judgment became cloudy but I felt relaxed and my heart stopped racing.i was in the air for a couple seconds when I heard this lady screaming and a stranger holding me up I pleaded them to let me go
This is my fault I traumatized that poor lady she was just walking her dog.
I'm sectioned in a private ward, up to 28 days
glad my SN didn't come full suspension is my method now, once discharged I will go to a secluded forest at night
These shitty staff accused me of hiding and knowing where the toothbrush is when I suffer with gaps in my memory from sédative abusé. I got shouted at, strip searched nude, I feel violated and like a criminal. I now have to wait for A&E to get an XRay so I can prove my innocence that I didn't consume or shove up up my privates. Because of this experience alone I will be appealing my section and writing a formal complaint for this unneeded stress I've had to endure.
tne whole world is against me, even nirses taking away my free will, and my suicide note for my family was confiscated.
I am on 1:1 supervision
I am now refusing to take my medication so F**k them. I also shut down emotionally I stop talking, and eating. Please send me kind words, I've lost everything and everyone

Wow. They treat us like a criminal when we attempt suicide. That's oppression, strip searching , locking up someone . you comitted no crime. suicide is not illegal but they take away your rights if you attempt. those nurses and psychiatrists are getting paid $100,000 a year or more to abuse people and be oppressive like Nurse Rachtet in one flew over the Cuckoos nest. This is a nightmare world . i want to kill myself to escape torture :that's not wrong nor a crime. so then i'm stopped and tortured more,. up is down and down is up as the book Ever Deeper Honesty says

 

[yive]

how people can be natalists and pro-lifers after reading such stories? it is beyond terrible! i want to die!!!

 

[brokenwaves]

this is so dehumanising, i'm sorry you have to experience this. wishing you strength to get through however long they keep you there

 

[sm20]

I'm sorry all that happened to you. If you don't mind me asking, what makes you glad your sn didin't arrive and want to do full suspension?

 

[Bedrock48]

I'm sorry you're having such a stressful experience. I guess it just wasn't your time to go, maybe there is better things ahead once you're free from the psych ward. Use the time in there to relax (as much as you can) and process things.

I hope time away from the stress of life can be useful and that you will feel emotionally better soon. Sending my thoughts and best wishes.

 

[SweetDreams500]

I don't understand why people do this. Do they think treating us like garbage is going to do away with our suicidal desires? Because it won't. It only makes them stronger.

 

[domedune]

OP, I am so sorry. This is horrible and wrong. You did not deserve this. You will never deserve this.

 

[Bullit]

Go along with their bullshit so you can get the fuck out of there as soon as possible.
If you try to ctb again do not be impulsive! Plan it out and don't get seen!!
Good luck,your story is terrible and frightening!!! Sending you a prayer,poor kid.

 

[Deleted member 8579]

how people can be natalists and pro-lifers after reading such stories?

I don't understand why people do this.

"By trying to committing suicide, you questioned our existence and opened up a possibility that we never considered; this makes us uncomfortable. You must be punished for this behaviour so obviously borne out of desperation and anguish. Besides, we need you in the work force in order to contribute to society."
And then you have people who say: "Well, if you dislike living so much, why don't you just kill yourself? You can always opt out!"
Preposterous!

 

[czx85]

I was forced lockdown for 3 days before as well... so I understand how horrible it would feel like...I cannot imagine the pain you are going through

I would say, just try to pretend that you are recovering. So they will let you go earlier

 

[Wisdom3_1-9]

So sorry to hear about all of this. It's absolutely inhumane, how you were and are being treated. Also worth noting how their efforts have only served to strengthen your resolve. It is the sign of a society that doesn't actually care about the person, just the system.

 

[Bigpink]

Humanity is fucking awful,fuck the system and what it does to people

 

[nopointofliving]

my tears dropped while reading your post. I'm really sorry for your situation. I wish I could help you but all what I can do is hugging you very tight and telling you, everything is temporary even our suffer. It shall pass my friend, it shall pass. We're here for you, you are never alone :) <3 hugs <3

 

[DeadButDreaming]

I'm sorry to hear of your pain. Hopefully your stay at the hospital will pass quickly.

 

[CatabolicSeed]

That's so horrible. Mental hospital staff are the literal worst.

 

[Manaaja]

That is absolutely awful, immoral, wrong and against all senses of justice. No one should experience that. I hope a miracle happens, all of those people experience a sudden grow of brain, justice and compassion and let you out instantly. I'm so against chaining that I even oppose jailing criminals (there are other methods). Everyone should be free.

The same people would probably throw a tantrum if you said you wanted to have an ape pet, crying "Apes are intelligent animals, they should be free, you can't force a big ape to live in a small room. They get stressed so easily. They can die of stress." completely ignoring that humans are apes, and real science says that the happiest humans live in jungles rarely coming in contact with modern civilization. Humans living in jungles have 20 times less stress than people living in London.

If people understood that humans are jungle beings who need space and freedom, the world would be a much better place.

 

[Octavina]

Update, hello everyone, I wrote a formal complaint and the ward manager has it but I'm pretty sure jack shit us going to happen. I hope I can take action for my rights. The X-ray showed nothing, but no apology or literally anything from the staff, it's disgusting.
My SN and other medication had attempted to be delivered at my address but because I'm in this horrible psyche unit, I was unable to get it. I don't know what to do, especially because the courier says my tracking info is unavailable but the sellers one works for them. I'm weighing the odds of this situation, once I'm out I feel like it'll be too risky to do full suspension in a forest or park but since I have no sturdy anchor point in my apartment I'm running out of options...
I wish I was in a NHS funded ward, these beds are rock hard, I complain to the ward consolant that I can't sleep. Even with 50mg promithezine, food is shit so I just live on biscuits and fruit, and there is literally nothing to do all day. No activities other than getting leave on section 17, and sometimes a psychologist For therapy groups who I keep missing anyway because when I get to sleep it's like 3am. I don't get to talk to them privately anyway. Luckily I'm on section 2 so up to 28 days, and because of my good behaviour I'll hopefully be out before then.
thank you all for the kind and heartwarming messages, I just can't end up failing again, I have to have a successful ctb next attempt otherwise I could end up here again.
peace and love SS

 

[death137]

Sending hugs. Full suspension is also my method so seeing others with similar method decrease my fear a little. I wish you the best for the next attempt.

 

[WrongPlaceWrongTime]

Hi SS family, currently writing this as I am waiting to be taken to A and E to have an X ray after being accused by a private psychiatric ward of concealing a toothbrush.
my life is chaos right now, 36 hours ago I took 25mg diazepam
5 mg lorazepam
A bottle of 4% cider
Walked to my nesrest park with my chair, tied a shitty noose and kicked the chair.
I messed up badly, I had a pre made slip knot but cut it too short so I couldn't attach it to the thick tree branch. So I made a quick one
It was extremely windy, and felt the effects of the pills so quickly that my judgment became cloudy but I felt relaxed and my heart stopped racing.i was in the air for a couple seconds when I heard this lady screaming and a stranger holding me up I pleaded them to let me go
This is my fault I traumatized that poor lady she was just walking her dog.
I'm sectioned in a private ward, up to 28 days
glad my SN didn't come full suspension is my method now, once discharged I will go to a secluded forest at night
These shitty staff accused me of hiding and knowing where the toothbrush is when I suffer with gaps in my memory from sédative abusé. I got shouted at, strip searched nude, I feel violated and like a criminal. I now have to wait for A&E to get an XRay so I can prove my innocence that I didn't consume or shove up up my privates. Because of this experience alone I will be appealing my section and writing a formal complaint for this unneeded stress I've had to endure.
tne whole world is against me, even nirses taking away my free will, and my suicide note for my family was confiscated.
I am on 1:1 supervision
I am now refusing to take my medication so F**k them. I also shut down emotionally I stop talking, and eating. Please send me kind words, I've lost everything and everyone

Holy shit, I am sorry you were forced through that. Fuck psych wards and anyone who defends them. Remembering how they treat suicidal people helps me remember that humanity and society are an absolute shitstain to the world.