ctb alone. I have children.

[soggyweeetabix]

This is one of many things that are occupying my mind at the moment. Whilst I am ready, I do actually want someone to pass with. I just don't want to mess up, and although I know it's very unlikely, but being with someone who shares the same view as view as me would be comforting.
Is that bad?
I also have children aged 31, 25 and 16 and whilst the oldest 2 would get over me pretty quickly, my youngest would take it hard; and whilst I've tried to make her hate me by ignoring her (I know, it's messed up), we have such great discussions over music and her playing guitar and bass guitar.
I am sorry for rambling, but I cannot bear living, but feel I owe it to my children.

 

[Ghost2211]

I don't think emotional neglect will get the desire you're intending. She won't just disconnect and not care. It seems likely increase the problem to me. I can understand as a mom how you feel about ctb, but I do hope you rethink your approach to the 16 year old.

 

[Lucifer'sRight]

This is one of many things that are occupying my mind at the moment. Whilst I am ready, I do actually want someone to pass with. I just don't want to mess up, and although I know it's very unlikely, but being with someone who shares the same view as view as me would be comforting.
Is that bad?
I also have children aged 31, 25 and 16 and whilst the oldest 2 would get over me pretty quickly, my youngest would take it hard; and whilst I've tried to make her hate me by ignoring her (I know, it's messed up), we have such great discussions over music and her playing guitar and bass guitar.
I am sorry for rambling, but I cannot bear living, but feel I owe it to my children.

I can't even imagine what sense of guilt that is.. tbh it's such a sensitive topic to me that i'm kind of afraid to give any advice..

 

[tidalwxves]

This is one of many things that are occupying my mind at the moment. Whilst I am ready, I do actually want someone to pass with. I just don't want to mess up, and although I know it's very unlikely, but being with someone who shares the same view as view as me would be comforting.
Is that bad?
I also have children aged 31, 25 and 16 and whilst the oldest 2 would get over me pretty quickly, my youngest would take it hard; and whilst I've tried to make her hate me by ignoring her (I know, it's messed up), we have such great discussions over music and her playing guitar and bass guitar.
I am sorry for rambling, but I cannot bear living, but feel I owe it to my children.

How will the youngest be taken care of when you leave? I understand you are in a lot of pain but you are responsible for that child. Suicide isn't cowardly, but abandoning your child at a critical stage of development is.

 

[soggyweeetabix]

In answer to the replies which I am very grateful for, it has galvanised my thoughts. Whilst my youngest daughter will be still be cared for by her mother, I brought her into this world, and it would tear me apart if I thought she was feeling the way I feel.
I really appreciate the feedback, even though it's not exactly what I wanted to hear. Perhaps it's what I needed to hear though.

 

[itachi of death]

This is one of many things that are occupying my mind at the moment. Whilst I am ready, I do actually want someone to pass with. I just don't want to mess up, and although I know it's very unlikely, but being with someone who shares the same view as view as me would be comforting.
Is that bad?
I also have children aged 31, 25 and 16 and whilst the oldest 2 would get over me pretty quickly, my youngest would take it hard; and whilst I've tried to make her hate me by ignoring her (I know, it's messed up), we have such great discussions over music and her playing guitar and bass guitar.
I am sorry for rambling, but I cannot bear living, but feel I owe it to my children.

I feel in the same boat I dont wanna be alive but I do it for my children,their still babies but still im alive for them,so I understand I feel like I owe my children to stay alive till there 18 at least and I taught them everything I know

 

[Breadbfra]

My mother in law killed herself with a 26 years old and a 31 years old girls.
It's been emotionally destroying her youngest so much, which is now my fiancée, but her depression was tremendous and nothing could help her. She actually made the decision to not make their beloved suffer anymore, to be honest. So she stopped suffering and her children too.
Suicide will bring despair to your children indeed, but if it's your true desire to ctb and you've thought about your choice, I suggest you going on with it. Make sure they will truly understand your choice, explain them deeply your suffering and make sure they won't become guilty but will, somehow, in the next future be at peace with your suicide.
If you're not 100% sure on your choice, take your time to think about it how much you want.
The only thing I recommend is to be sure to ctb far from your house and make sure your children won't find you. One of my mother's employees had her father shot himself in her house when she was 18 and she's now 36 but she's severely traumatized and I think she's mentally stuck at 18.
Sending hugs.

 

[itachi of death]

My only moral dilemma is my boys,they actually saved me from wanting to die but as I got older I realized I dont care for life anymore nothing brings me pleasure or happiness,but I told myself ill do it when they are viable and prepared as much as possible for this world as I can,I wanna make sure they never feel like this and my oldest knows how I feel because when I cry alone in a dark room he finds me and gives me a hug,its the sweetest thing but im not going to live forever for these kids,but i will wait till their 18,and that is a painful choice but a responsibility that im glad to uphold for my children,I know the response your looking for and its hard to make that choice when u have people dependant on you,everyone told me I'd be the biggest piece of shit if I killed myself and what kind of father wants to die,and etc and if you can live with people talking like that about your death than by all means do what makes you happy,or if it bothers you it means your a good person,and good hearts suffer the most,idk if I helped but I hope for the very best for you and hope your decision is yours and your 100% happy with it

 

[Shahanshah]

Make sure leave enough money for her so she can get good education.If not then at least can leave a normal life with that money.Then do ctb peacefully because after 1-2 she is gonna move on only remember you few times.

 

[laserfocus111]

Difficult decision. Will definitely affect your youngest one to some extent.. but will it be manageable for her?

I've got a 3yo and I'm only hanging on just for him.. I hope my passing won't affect him much if he doesn't remember me at that age.