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cruelexistence

cruelexistence

Existence is cruel and cool
Apr 19, 2024
46
Long story short, my coworker is very...immature and young. Younger than me (we're all over 18).

I'm working preparing food in the small kitchen space, and they squeeze by me from behind, which momentarily means they glide their pelvic area upon butt. They then say, "wow, almost raped you there!"

I was shocked the first time. Second time I wondered if they meant it on purpose, and this last time I just don't know what to say.

And tbh, I like them, so it's almost like I don't mind, but now I think I'm being weird. They also said we're not friends when I asked them if we are.

Thoughts?
 
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Suicidebydeath

Suicidebydeath

No chances to be happy - dead inside
Nov 25, 2021
3,558
Sounds very inappropriate workplace behaviour to me personally.
 
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Dr Iron Arc

Dr Iron Arc

Into the Unknown
Feb 10, 2020
21,409
That's absolutely a red zone. Call HR now. Doesn't matter how young he is or how much you like him. He needs to learn before it causes real harm.
 
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cruelexistence

cruelexistence

Existence is cruel and cool
Apr 19, 2024
46
That's absolutely a red zone. Call HR now. Doesn't matter how young he is or how much you like him. He needs to learn before it causes real harm.
Well, there is no HR. It'd be up to talking to my boss (they're a favorite of the boss; I'm not).

Would talking to them directly be a good idea?
 
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Dr Iron Arc

Dr Iron Arc

Into the Unknown
Feb 10, 2020
21,409
Well, there is no HR. It'd be up to talking to my boss (they're a favorite of the boss; I'm not).

Would talking to them directly be a good idea?
Not having an HR department is a major HR violation in and of itself although I guess it could be a really small business. Are you sure there's no one higher up the chain than your boss you can speak to? If not then I'd recommend telling your boss or just confronting the guy directly to say it's not okay.
 
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cruelexistence

cruelexistence

Existence is cruel and cool
Apr 19, 2024
46
Well, it's a single location place. I'm pretty sure the boss is as high as one can go, lol.

Also, to clarify, my coworker is a girl. Does that matter much?
 
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Suicidebydeath

Suicidebydeath

No chances to be happy - dead inside
Nov 25, 2021
3,558
It shouldn't matter in essence but in reality it probably would feel more intimidating if it was a guy. She probably thinks it's ok to do it because she's a girl. Do you think she is just joking around, in her opinion?

I don't really have any advice on what the best thing to do is. If you feel like talking to the boss would make things worse because of favouritism then you have a few other options depending on how you feel.

I've had girls do something similar to me (maybe a lot worse) but I liked it, so it's hard for me to advise.
 
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cruelexistence

cruelexistence

Existence is cruel and cool
Apr 19, 2024
46
Yeah, I'm thinking it's a joke, but it's weird. Plus, we don't know each other that well.

I guess it just feels like there's tension in the air now, and I only know I want to release it and not make it worse.
 
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Chinaski

Chinaski

Arthur Scargill appreciator
Sep 1, 2018
3,483
Well, there is no HR. It'd be up to talking to my boss (they're a favorite of the boss; I'm not).

Would talking to them directly be a good idea?
Tell them directly to fuck off imho, just as you would if someone did that in a bar, just because you're at work doesn't mean you have to tolerate that shit
 
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Dr Iron Arc

Dr Iron Arc

Into the Unknown
Feb 10, 2020
21,409
Well, it's a single location place. I'm pretty sure the boss is as high as one can go, lol.

Also, to clarify, my coworker is a girl. Does that matter much?
It shouldn't matter, but it probably does. The boss probably has a reason to have her as a favorite then. Even an HR department might not believe you at that point. I guess all you can do is judge for yourself if that's acceptable to you on a personal level or not and act accordingly. If all you're concerned about is easing the tension you can try making a similar joke if that makes you comfortable but it doesn't seem like it does so it's better to just try to leave and find a different job.
 
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Suicidebydeath

Suicidebydeath

No chances to be happy - dead inside
Nov 25, 2021
3,558
I'm sorry for your situation, it definitely sounds awkward.

Making some sort of joke might be a good, safe idea, I guess.
 
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cruelexistence

cruelexistence

Existence is cruel and cool
Apr 19, 2024
46
Thanks for the input everyone. If she does it again, I'll try to bring it up in conversation soon after. I don't want to have to look for another job again.
 
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Suicidebydeath

Suicidebydeath

No chances to be happy - dead inside
Nov 25, 2021
3,558
I hope it goes well. I'm drawing a blank on the perfect solution to this one.
 
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cruelexistence

cruelexistence

Existence is cruel and cool
Apr 19, 2024
46
It's okay. Some problems don't have a perfect solution, just perfect company like yourselves.
 
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