Method Couple of final questions

[Scacie]

Hey everyone, I have everything I need for SN, but I still have a couple technical questions. Any advice is welcome

Questions on drug interactions:
I plan to use a variety of drugs as sedatives in addition to SN.
I plan to use: domperidone, mirtazapine, zopiclone and maybe propranolol. Problem is, I also use cyproterone acetate as an anti androgen, and on drugbank.com, it says it can increase the metabolism of domperidone? Would that increase the chance of vomitting after SN? Sadly, cyproterone has a really long biological half life....so if it really decreases domperidone effectiveness, I would need to postpone the date. Or will perhaps taking more help? Like 15mg, or will it just increase the chance of failure?

I should add, I'm 70kg and 5foot9(177cm)

And propranolol.... I'm a fucking idiot. I literally never searched about it because it was never crucial, and guess what? It's selling for $2/10 at the same site I got my AEs and sedatives. Fuck me...
Don't know if I should even buy it again. I have the money and I won't need it anymore soon, but still. Increased suspicions and all. Also spending 25$ in shipping for a 2$ is just not worth it lmao.
Should I still get it? How helpful will it be? I'm desperate right now, because the April 10th date seems to be getting increasingly out of reach, but I also want to do it like immediately, fuck regrets.

I guess add-on question, is it realistically plausible for me to CTB in my own room? I live in the same apartment as my parents, so I'm scared of being found and 'saved'.But I'm also so desperate right now.


Questions on schedule: I have 2 main plans right now, was wondering if y'all can give feedback on the domperidone schedule? Basically, instead of taking 10mg every 8hrs, I'll need to take one ever 7hrs. Will that affect much? Sadly I can't follow Stan's guide to the letter, because I would need to either wake up way too early, or be forced to take SN late, which might cause me to be found.

One last thing, which side of the bed do I lie on? Seen a couple posts about that being important. Also I'm curious about the reasoning behind it

Edit 2: one more question crossed my mind: I'm scared to go unconscious immediately after SN (because of my sedatives). I'm scared I'll vomit out enough such that I survive, and won't be conscious to drink my backup. Does that mean I need to stay awake after the SN? How long do I need to fight the urge to sleep? Thank you

 

[nonialabaster]

I'm sorry, honey. I wish I could help you with the chemical questions, but I'm a historian, not a chemist.

But, I do have advice on where you choose to CTB. If you have the money to do so, get a hotel room. It doesn't have to be fancy. Because the process can take several hours, you might make noises, get up and beg for help, etc., it's best to be by yourself. Your parents are likely to hear you and call an ambulance. Hotel workers won't bother you, if you put a "Do not disturb" sign on your door.
The propranolol is a beta-blocker, as you know. It's not necessary for the protocol. It's just sometimes advised to slow the tachycardia that will occur, once you ingest the salt. That rapid heart-rate causes panic, in most people. You don't have to have it. It won't accelerate the process. You just have to be able to push through it, knowing that it's temporary.

 

[Scacie]

I'm sorry, honey. I wish I could help you with the chemical questions, but I'm a historian, not a chemist.

But, I do have advice on where you choose to CTB. If you have the money to do so, get a hotel room. It doesn't have to be fancy. Because the process can take several hours, you might make noises, get up and beg for help, etc., it's best to be by yourself. Your parents are likely to hear you and call an ambulance. Hotel workers won't bother you, if you put a "Do not disturb" sign on your door.

Thank you. I really really want a nice hotel room. That's my original plan. But now the April 10th date seems out of reach, as I'm already taking so many days off this month for my wisdom teeth surgery.
If I had true monetary and personal freedom, I would spend all my money for 2 nights in the Ritz Carlton, or perhaps run away to a beautiful resort somewhere overseas. If I was above 21, I would rack up credit card debt to make my last week's fun and exciting.
But sadly I can't, because my parents can see the balance in my account, so I can never splurge on a fancy hotel. I have couple hundred in cash, that's enough for a decent hotel, but everything needs to be right for that to happen. I need to make up excuses, or sneak out in the dead of night. So many things can go wrong. Most importantly though, I need to wait. I don't want to wait anymore, especially after the SN scare. If I can CTB right this instant, I would do it.

 

[nonialabaster]

Thank you. I really really want a nice hotel room. That's my original plan. But now the April 10th date seems out of reach, as I'm already taking so many days off this month for my wisdom teeth surgery.
If I had true monetary and personal freedom, I would spend all my money for 2 nights in the Ritz Carlton, or perhaps run away to a beautiful resort somewhere overseas. If I was above 21, I would rack up credit card debt to make my last week's fun and exciting.
But sadly I can't, because my parents can see the balance in my account, so I can never splurge on a fancy hotel. I have couple hundred in cash, that's enough for a decent hotel, but everything needs to be right for that to happen. I need to make up excuses, or sneak out in the dead of night. So many things can go wrong. Most importantly though, I need to wait. I don't want to wait anymore, especially after the SN scare. If I can CTB right this instant, I would do it.

I wish I could fly you to Texas, to stay in my house! But, like you, my money's running out. I'd originally planned to get a suite at the Omni in Fort Worth, high up on the 19th floor, where I could either jump, or hang myself like Tony Bourdain. Those suites go for $3,500 a day. I had the money, at the time. But I didn't have the courage.

You seem like such a wonderful and kind person. I'm so sorry that your life has brought you to this decision. But, your life is your own, and you can do with it what you please. Know that this old lady in Fort Worth is thinking about you, every day. You have been one of the shining stars on this forum, and a great comfort to me.

 

[Yahwa]

The beta blockers aren't a must have, with what you have already, I'd say you're already set. The domperidone should stop you from throwing the SN back up, so you'll be fine. Just have another glass ready in case you still puke, and that second glass won't fail. Get yourself a hotel room with the cash you have on hand, it doesn't matter if it's not really fancy or anything, do what's best and safest for you. You only need about an hour for the process to do what's it's supposed to do, so if you think you can be found during that period of time at home, yeah, it's best to avoid doing it in your room. You'll be fine, so don't worry too much. Try to leave as peacefully as you can, don't spend your last moments stressing over anything Wishing you the best sis

 

[Scacie]

I wish I could fly you to Texas, to stay in my house! But, like you, my money's running out. I'd originally planned to get a suite at the Omni in Fort Worth, high up on the 19th floor, where I could either jump, or hang myself like Tony Bourdain. Those suites go for $3,500 a day. I had the money, at the time. But I didn't have the courage.

You seem like such a wonderful and kind person. I'm so sorry that your life has brought you to this decision. But, your life is your own, and you can do with it what you please. Know that this old lady in Fort Worth is thinking about you, every day. You have been one of the shining stars on this forum, and a great comfort to me.

I'm so sorry to hear that your money is running out. Everyone deserves to leave this place comfortably.
Thank you for saying that about me, it means so much
I know everyone says I deserve to make my own choices but my god, I just want someone to hold my hands over the finish line this time. Tell me whats the best course forward. Which date gives me the best chance of success. To be paralysed by indecision at the finish line....
I'm scared of things that'll go wrong. If I rush it I might get things wrong, if I don't I might get discovered. Plus, I'm so desperate at this point...

 

[nonialabaster]

The beta blockers aren't a must have, with what you have already, I'd say you're already set. The domperidone should stop you from throwing the SN back up, so you'll be fine. Just have another glass ready in case you still puke, and that second glass won't fail. Get yourself a hotel room with the cash you have on hand, it doesn't matter if it's not really fancy or anything, do what's best and safest for you. You only need about an hour for the process to do what's it's supposed to do, so if you think you can be found during that period of time at home, yeah, it's best to avoid doing it in your room. You'll be fine, so don't worry too much. Try to leave as peacefully as you can, don't spend your last moments stressing over anything Wishing you the best until you CTB

Exactly. Get a room, pack your favorite pillows and blankies and other comfort items in your luggage, and settle down in the bed, wearing comfy clothes. Watch some TV, listen to your favorite music, whatever makes you feel good. Trust me about hotels. They will not bother you, even if they hear loud sounds. Unless it's a gunshot (yes, I live in Texas, and we natives all know what that sound is), you will not be disturbed.

 

[Shadowlord900]

Increased metabolism for domperidone is kind of like a double-edged sword. Its effects should kick in quicker, but you're right they would also wear off quicker. Rather than say, waiting 45 mins between taking the antiemetic and the SN, you could change it to 35-40 mins. Admittedly I dunno how much the cyproterone acetate would increase domperidone's metabolism by. It could be so minute you may not even have to make any changes to your regimen.

 

[nonialabaster]

I'm so sorry to hear that your money is running out. Everyone deserves to leave this place comfortably.
Thank you for saying that about me, it means so much
I know everyone says I deserve to make my own choices but my god, I just want someone to hold my hands over the finish line this time. Tell me whats the best course forward. Which date gives me the best chance of success. To be paralysed by indecision at the finish line....
I'm scared of things that'll go wrong. If I rush it I might get things wrong, if I don't I might get discovered. Plus, I'm so desperate at this point...

I know you are desperate, baby. I am so sorry for you. The Mom in me wants to reach out across the oceans and hold you. You can PM me, always. I'll give you my phone number, through PM. It'll be an International call, so I don't know how much that costs, on your end. But I'm here for you. Know that. You have been the main reason I pull up this forum, every time I wake up.

 

[Scacie]

Okay okay, hotels it is. I have a rough plan in mind, if I'm going to leave in the night. I need to sneak out quietly. Still a couple unknowns to solve. Sometimes my brother stays up late on Sunday night, till after 12, which gives me less time to run away. Will hotel staff check me in at like 2am? Not sure if I should take a taxi from the apartment to the hotel. They won't ask questions right? But what if they do hahaha. Don't know if I can give good excuses to avoid suspicions. Maybe I should take public transport, but it's gonna be obvious since I'll be the only one onboard.... I wanna leave as discretely as possible to avoid suspicions.

 

[nonialabaster]

Okay okay, hotels it is. I have a rough plan in mind, if I'm going to leave in the night. I need to sneak out quietly. Still a couple unknowns to solve. Sometimes my brother stays up late on Sunday night, till after 12, which gives me less time to run away. Will hotel staff check me in at like 2am? Not sure if I should take a taxi from the apartment to the hotel. They won't ask questions right? But what if they do hahaha. Don't know if I can give good excuses to avoid suspicions. Maybe I should take public transport, but it's gonna be obvious since I'll be the only one onboard.... I wanna leave as discretely as possible to avoid suspicions.

You're in what country? Forgive me, I thought you were in the UK.

 

[Scacie]

Increased metabolism for domperidone is kind of like a double-edged sword. Its effects should kick in quicker, but you're right they would also wear off quicker. Rather than say, waiting 45 mins between taking the antiemetic and the SN, you could change it to 35-40 mins. Admittedly I dunno how much the cyproterone acetate would increase domperidone's metabolism by. It could be so minute you may not even have to make any changes to your regimen.

Yea, I might need to actually look into the studies that's given as sources..
Okay, it dosent say anything, so I'm still unsure about the metabolism.
If I wait for injections this won't be a worry for me anymore, but will delay my date

I know you are desperate, baby. I am so sorry for you. The Mom in me wants to reach out across the oceans and hold you. You can PM me, always. I'll give you my phone number, through PM. It'll be an International call, so I don't know how much that costs, on your end. But I'm here for you. Know that. You have been the main reason I pull up this forum, every time I wake up.

Thank you, I'll pm you soon.
I hope you like constant trauma dump and indecision fueled panic attacks haha. I hope I had a mom as good as you...

You're in what country? Forgive me, I thought you were in the UK.

I'm in Singapore.

 

[nonialabaster]

Most hotels, in any country, will accept "In the Dead of Night" guests. The cheaper ones, especially. Roadside motels, in the US, have plenty of places that have over-night staff to process guests and give them rooms. The fancy hotels have required check-in times.

 

[Scacie]

Blegh.. the hotels in my mind are all pretty fancy. Because I want a bathtub to bathe in before I go lol.
Hate calling people, but might need to do that soon
You reminded me, I'm gonna look at fancy bath bombs and candles real quick!

Edit: still need advice on which side to lie on, if it matters

 

[nonialabaster]

Blegh.. the hotels in my mind are all pretty fancy. Because I want a bathtub to bathe in before I go lol.
Hate calling people, but might need to do that soon
You reminded me, I'm gonna look at fancy bath bombs and candles real quick!

Well, babydoll, it's part of the process. Sometimes we have to get out of our comfort zone.

The bathtubs in the cheaper places are fine enough, if you make sure to clean them up a bit, beforehand.

Bath bombs are a great idea!

 

[Yahwa]

Blegh.. the hotels in my mind are all pretty fancy. Because I want a bathtub to bathe in before I go lol.
Hate calling people, but might need to do that soon
You reminded me, I'm gonna look at fancy bath bombs and candles real quick!

Edit: still need advice on which side to lie on, if it matters

Which side you lie on doesn't really matter, just lie as comfortably as you can and let go of any worries. Lying in the middle will give you a lot of space, and if the bed is next to a wall, then you can lie on that side so you don't fall if your body were to move, but I don't think it will

 

[Scacie]

Oh, not really which side of the bed haha. But more like uhm, body direction? I saw somewhere that its useful. It's a blur though
I would assume I don't lie flat? Incase I choke on my vomit

 

[Yahwa]

And just like @nonialabaster, I'm here for you if you need someone to talk to. I don't think I have the ability to PM since my account is still too recent, but I can give you one of my socials in a comment here and edit it once you've added me. I don't want you to be alone for your last moment, and I'm totally okay with trauma dumping, I do it all the time

Oh, not really which side of the bed haha. But more like uhm, body direction? I saw somewhere that its useful. It's a blur though
I would assume I don't lie flat? Incase I choke on my vomit

On your back is best. If you have anti nausea meds it should be okay, but in any case, if you throw up, that means you won't have become unconscious yet, so you'll be able to move and throw up without choking on it. Just have another glass ready and you'll be okay

 

[nonialabaster]

Oh, not really which side of the bed haha. But more like uhm, body direction? I saw somewhere that its useful. It's a blur though
I would assume I don't lie flat? Incase I choke on my vomit

I've read that you should try to lie on your right side. Don't pass out, while lying on your back, as you will aspirate any vomit. That is incredibly painful.
I deal with Chronic Pancreatitis, and, when it flares, the most comfortable position is on my right side, with a pillow tucked between my knees, knowing I have a bowl on my bedside table. I then chant my mantra. "Cool and Still."

 

[Scacie]

Oh no, I can't pass out? My plan was always to be pumped full of sedatives, stay conscious enough to take the SN, then sleep immediately. I suppose I need to be conscious to drink my backup if anything happens. Hmm

 

[nonialabaster]

Oh no, I can't pass out? My plan was always to be pumped full of sedatives, stay conscious enough to take the SN, then sleep immediately. I suppose I need to be conscious to drink my backup if anything happens. Hmm

No, you will pass out. You just don't want to pass out while flat on your back. Because, if you vomit, it will be aspirated, which will cause you to choke. Not pleasant. If you are on your side, the vomit will just run out of your mouth and you won't be aware of it even happening. Sorry to be gross, but I have a lot of experiences with vomiting, and ODs, and this is how it works.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I've heard lying on the right may help to make the SN mix flow into the intestine quicker- right side but perhaps propped up a bit on a pillow. If you Google a diagram of the stomach/intestine- the opening into the intestine is on the bottom but to the right side- so, I assume lying on the right but slightly upright may aim the liquid better. I'm no expert though.

Plus- as others have said- being sick is going to be easier lying on one side. I'm definitely planning to have a bucket handy if I ever have the guts to do it.

 

[Scacie]

Thank you everyone. One more question crossed my mind: I'm scared to go unconscious immediately after SN (because of my sedatives). I'm scared I'll vomit out enough such that I survive, and won't be conscious to drink my backup. Does that mean I need to stay awake after the SN? How long do I need to fight the urge to sleep? Thank you

 

[redbathingduck]

Not sure if I should take a taxi from the apartment to the hotel. They won't ask questions right? But what if they do hahaha. Don't know if I can give good excuses to avoid suspicions. Maybe I should take public transport, but it's gonna be obvious since I'll be the only one onboard.... I wanna leave as discretely as possible to avoid suspicions.

I don't think any taxi driver or public transport worker will suspect anything. They rarely ask questions and they have no reason to suspect people using their service, even if it's late at night. They're just doing their job and most likely don't care about your business, and I don't think anyone would even suspect you of what you're trying to do. If you want you could walk away a bit from your apartment so a taxi doesn't stop right in front of where you live cause your family might notice I guess. But yeah, wouldn't worry about this at all

One more question crossed my mind: I'm scared to go unconscious immediately after SN (because of my sedatives). I'm scared I'll vomit out enough such that I survive, and won't be conscious to drink my backup. Does that mean I need to stay awake after the SN? How long do I need to fight the urge to sleep? Thank you

From what I've read about it, it's best too just go lay down right after taking the SN and let it's do it work. It's different for each person as for how long it takes to get unconscious but it might be pretty fast with all the sedatives. I understand being scared of vomiting but it's not the end of the world. The nausea mostly comes from the taste or the anxiety. If it ends up happening you just take the backup if you're conscious and lay down again, but I wouldn't try and fight against it to try and stay awake, I feel like that would only increase anxiety and make you more likely to vomit. There's also people that have succeeded in their attempts even after vomiting.

I wish you the best for the next few days until the SN arrives and hope you can find peace. I don't know a lot about the specific medication you're using because I'll just be using SN, meto and paracetamol but hopefully someone can clear that up too

 

[Scacie]

Thank you for all the advice. My SN and sedatives are actually all here haha. I just want to get all my technical questions out of the way, so I don't panic on the day itself.
If I vomit and become conscious its game over for me. I'm leaving in the dead of night and never looking back. If I wake up somehow, I must face the consequences. So that's why I'm scared.