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I see... I'm sure that my words here probably ring rather hollow, seeing as I'm a stranger who doesn't know you well, but whatever your reasons for self-hatred might be, I believe that there is no truly evil or objectively bad person, and that extends to you. And, cutting doesn't make you pathetic or lesser. The way I see it, it was the best thing you had available for venting off the immense amount of stress you were dealing with at that moment, tragic as it is. You're only human.
Hopefully, one day, you'll be lucky enough to find something else to resort to... The circle is a stubborn beast to battle, though.