Help Could I be autistic?

[26mmmm]

I am currently 18 years old, I've been raised wrong and I think thats why I have most of my issues, but im wondering if I might be autistic which might have exacerbated everything.
I don't have most symptoms which I think are common with autistic people, like hand flapping, t-rex arms etc but I still have a few:

- I've had social anxiety and body image issues since atleast the age of 12, the social anxiety could have been developed due to isolation but I think it started before I was really isolating myself too much and that the isolation just made it way worse overtime.

- Im pretty sensitive to some smells, light, sounds and textures:

I would easily get carsick when in an old car because of the smell, and would most times have my shirt over my nose for the entire ride.
The smell of coffee in a car also made me carsick easily, im slightly sensitive to the smell in general but I think that it's mainly because I associate it with car sickness.
Im a bit sensitive to light after not being exposed to it for a while, but im pretty sure thats normal.
I cant stand the dry texture of my feet or hands and the sound when rubbing my feet against certain things or rubbing my hands together when they are dry
I get shivers just from imagining the texture and sound id get from rubbing my feet against a couch for example.
As a kid I would sometimes lick my hands to avoid the dry, stripy feeling.

- Im slightly hypermobile, my knees are hyperextended and my fingers sometimes cave in too much
My posture is bad, but that's probably caused by years of being sedentary.

- My coordination isn't the best, tho not too bad to be a concern.

- I was told that as a baby I needed some physiotherapy to strengthen.


Are any other common symptoms I should check for?

 

[Little_Suzy]

My parents never tested me for anything. Now that you're 18, you have the ability to be your own medical advocate.

When I was in college, I used my student insurance to get tested for everything so that I could receive an accurate diagnosis and treatment.

Many children, particularly those who are academically above average, grow up with no one ever questioning their actions. I'm sorry you struggled alone, which led to your isolation from others.

Amidst your difficulties, don't perceive yourself as being "behind" in life. Give yourself the life you want.

I hope you receive answers to all of your questions soon.

 

[26mmmm]

My parents never tested me for anything. Now that you're 18, you have the ability to be your own medical advocate.

When I was in college, I used my student insurance to get tested for everything so that I could receive an accurate diagnosis and treatment.

Many children, particularly those who are academically above average, grow up with no one ever questioning their actions. I'm sorry you struggled alone, which led to your isolation from others.

Amidst your difficulties, don't perceive yourself as being "behind" in life. Give yourself the life you want.

I hope you receive answers to all of your questions soon.

I dont really know how to deal with health related things, and I don't really have the money and im assuming getting a diagnosis would cost

 

[Little_Suzy]

I dont really know how to deal with health related things, and I don't really have the money and im assuming getting a diagnosis would cost

You don't know because you've never tried. It's time to hustle!

If you want to know if you are on the spectrum or apply for government assistance, you must first receive a diagnosis from a doctor.

If you are on the spectrum, you can apply for free college in the United States. This includes a dorm room and health insurance.

 

[26mmmm]

You don't know because you've never tried. It's time to hustle!

If you want to know if you are on the spectrum or apply for government assistance, you must first receive a diagnosis from a doctor.

If you are on the spectrum, you can apply for free college in the United States. This includes a dorm room and health insurance.

My situation is bad, but if I do have autism it wont be bad enough to justify getting government assistance.

From what I understand I just need to visit a psychiatrist or psychologist, but I want to know if there's actually a chance im autistic before I do that.

 

[Little_Suzy]

My situation is bad, but if I do have autism it wont be bad enough to justify getting government assistance.

From what I understand I just need to visit a psychiatrist or psychologist, but I want to know if there's actually a chance im autistic before I do that.

You don't need to be "bad." Disability is not a competition.

A disability prevents you from reaching your full potential without additional assistance.

The resources are available to those who apply. The same principle applies to the lottery; you can only win if you buy a ticket.

Search for autism testing in your area and take it from there.

 

[ceilng_tile]

If you want to get a more accurate assessment for autism, I wouldn't go to a psychiatrist. Most psychiatrists don't know much about autism and a lot of them have very outdated and stereotypical ideas about it. The best person to diagnosed autism is a neuropsychologist who is trained in the ADOS-2. If you don't know where to find one, I would start by looking for a therapist or psychologist and asking for a referral.

Hand flapping is only one type of stim and not everyone does it. Rocking back and forth is a common one. My biggest stim is pacing. (I can't talk on the phone without doing this.) It's hard to distinguish autism from social anxiety, but if you have issues with making eye contact, interpreting social cues, reading other people's (or your own) emotions, obsessive interests, difficulty coping with unexpected changes, executive functioning issues, etc you most likely have autism.

It also sounds like you're describing hypermobility spectrum/connective tissue disorder (maybe Ehlers Danlos) and maybe some dyspraxia. Both of them frequently co-occur with autism. Connective tissue disorders would be diagnosed by an MD/DO but they can be very difficult to diagnose. If you have issues with joint pain, joints that easily dislocate, wound healing problems, GI issues, cardiac issues like POTS, very stretchy skin in addition to the hypermobile joints you described, it would be worth asking your primary care doctor for a referral to have this evaluated.

Keep in mind that the diagnostic process for both of these things can be expensive and difficult to access. (Appointments often have long waiting times and sometimes you have to travel long distances.) It's worth it if your symptoms are significantly interfering with your life, but you may not end up getting the answer you expect.

 

[26mmmm]

If you want to get a more accurate assessment for autism, I wouldn't go to a psychiatrist. Most psychiatrists don't know much about autism and a lot of them have very outdated and stereotypical ideas about it. The best person to diagnosed autism is a neuropsychologist who is trained in the ADOS-2. If you don't know where to find one, I would start by looking for a therapist or psychologist and asking for a referral.

Hand flapping is only one type of stim and not everyone does it. Rocking back and forth is a common one. My biggest stim is pacing. (I can't talk on the phone without doing this.) It's hard to distinguish autism from social anxiety, but if you have issues with making eye contact, interpreting social cues, reading other people's (or your own) emotions, obsessive interests, difficulty coping with unexpected changes, executive functioning issues, etc you most likely have autism.

It also sounds like you're describing hypermobility spectrum/connective tissue disorder (maybe Ehlers Danlos) and maybe some dyspraxia. Both of them frequently co-occur with autism. Connective tissue disorders would be diagnosed by an MD/DO but they can be very difficult to diagnose. If you have issues with joint pain, joints that easily dislocate, wound healing problems, GI issues, cardiac issues like POTS, very stretchy skin in addition to the hypermobile joints you described, it would be worth asking your primary care doctor for a referral to have this evaluated.

Keep in mind that the diagnostic process for both of these things can be expensive and difficult to access. (Appointments often have long waiting times and sometimes you have to travel long distances.) It's worth it if your symptoms are significantly interfering with your life, but you may not end up getting the answer you expect.

I think even if I have autism it's going to be on a mild level, so diagnosing it on top of having other issues with similar symptoms sounds pretty hard, I'm probably not going to find the right answers and it'll cost too much. Im not trying to self diagnose but I'd still like to know, for now atleast, if its even likely I have it.
-
I do like pacing around but not on an excessive level and I do struggle with eye contact but that could just be due to not developing social skills by being in isolation.
Something I have on the top of my mind is scribbling in class, playing around with my pencil or drumming on the table but that could just be because I'm bored.
I don't think I have any of the physical issues you've mentioned but im certain im atleast slightly hypermobile. Another thing that might be relevant is that my teeth grew out pretty late and my baby teeth took more time to be replaced than other kids
Also, you said its hard to distinguish autism from social anxiety - cant social anxiety be a byproduct of autism?
And is there anything else I should look for?

 

[26mmmm]

@Sugarplum @sserafim I saw you guys mention being autistic in other posts and it'd be nice if you could share an opinion

 

[sserafim]

@Sugarplum @sserafim I saw you guys mention being autistic in other posts and it'd be nice if you could share an opinion

I think you could be autistic. Sensory issues are a part of autism. I think that social anxiety is also common with autism due to being ostracized and bad experiences with people. Personally, I don't have any stims like hand-flapping or hand-waving or T-Rex arms either, I think those are usually signs of more severe autism. I only have Asperger's aka autism level 1.

The main part of my autism is social issues and executive dysfunction. I think the biggest thing to look out for is a general sense of being an outsider and never being able to connect to anybody. Also, trouble interpreting social cues and body language. The main feeling is one of being an alien on this earth, and feeling like you're on the wrong planet. Basically you just can't connect or relate to people. Eye contact also scares me, I hate having to look at people's eyes. They intimidate me.

I also have trouble initiating tasks, doing complicated multi-step tasks, and switching between tasks. Basically I have trouble with a large daunting task, it overwhelms me to the point where I can't do it because I can't break it down into smaller pieces. I'm terrible at organization and planning, and am not able to manage my time. I never understood time management. I also don't have a sense of time either. I hate unexpected interruptions, I hate having to switch between tasks because I've entered like a groove (I think they call it hyper-focus)?

 

[26mmmm]

I think you could be autistic. Sensory issues are a part of autism. I think that social anxiety is also common with autism due to being ostracized and bad experiences with people. Personally, I don't have any stims like hand-flapping or hand-waving or T-Rex arms either, I think those are usually signs of more severe autism. I only have Asperger's aka autism level 1.

The main part of my autism is social issues and executive dysfunction. I think the biggest thing to look out for is a general sense of being an outsider and never being able to connect to anybody. Also, trouble interpreting social cues and body language. The main feeling is one of being an alien on this earth, and feeling like you're on the wrong planet. Basically you just can't connect or relate to people.

I also have trouble initiating tasks, doing complicated multi-step tasks, and switching between tasks. Basically I have trouble with a large daunting task, it overwhelms me to the point where I can't do it bc I can't break it down into smaller pieces. I'm terrible at organization and planning, and am not able to manage my time. I never understood time management. I also don't have a sense of time either. I hate unexpected interruptions, I hate having to switch between tasks because I've entered like a groove (I think they call it hyper-focus)?

I've always had friends but lost almost all of them in the last couple of years due to isolation. I've never had trouble connecting to people but my friendships weren't really deep past a certain age, I wouldn't do much socially other than school.
I do feel different in a way, for the longest time I've felt inferior to others but that's probably just because I lack self esteem.
I feel different but it's probably just because my life circumstances are different and I am isolated.
I feel like my life narrative is different and more negative than that of others but that's probably just because im mentally broken.
I struggle socially due to the social anxiety and being isolated for so long which caused me to lack social skills. I don't recall struggling specifically with body language tho.
I don't really have any friends right now and I barely talk to people but thats due to the same reasons and because I have no life and barely get the chance to.

 

[Sugarplum]

Sensory processing disorder and hypermobility/ehlers danlos are very comorbid with being autistic. EDS doesn't always cause a lot of problems or pain especially when someone is young. Also autistics often have wonky pain tolerances, like I didn't realize I was dislocating all the time, I thought it was just normal and happened to everyone, and it just felt wrong more than painful.

Sorry I can't really think right now and don't have much else to offer. I think it's always good to find autistic spaces and see what you can learn. I have a feeling a tremendous/disproportionate number of people here are autistic.

 

[26mmmm]

I think even if I have autism it's going to be on a mild level, so diagnosing it on top of having other issues with similar symptoms sounds pretty hard, I'm probably not going to find the right answers and it'll cost too much. Im not trying to self diagnose but I'd still like to know, for now atleast, if its even likely I have it.
-
I do like pacing around but not on an excessive level and I do struggle with eye contact but that could just be due to not developing social skills by being in isolation.
Something I have on the top of my mind is scribbling in class, playing around with my pencil or drumming on the table but that could just be because I'm bored.
I don't think I have any of the physical issues you've mentioned but im certain im atleast slightly hypermobile. Another thing that might be relevant is that my teeth grew out pretty late and my baby teeth took more time to be replaced than other kids
Also, you said its hard to distinguish autism from social anxiety - cant social anxiety be a byproduct of autism?
And is there anything else I should look for?

Another thing is that I've always been self aware and conscious, socially, with the way I look ( which led to pretty bad body dysmorphia ) , with what I do etc and from what I understand autistic people lack that?

 

[26mmmm]

More opinions would be appreciated

 

[spinningship]

I think you could be autistic. Sensory issues are a part of autism. I think that social anxiety is also common with autism due to being ostracized and bad experiences with people. Personally, I don't have any stims like hand-flapping or hand-waving or T-Rex arms either, I think those are usually signs of more severe autism. I only have Asperger's aka autism level 1.

The main part of my autism is social issues and executive dysfunction. I think the biggest thing to look out for is a general sense of being an outsider and never being able to connect to anybody. Also, trouble interpreting social cues and body language. The main feeling is one of being an alien on this earth, and feeling like you're on the wrong planet. Basically you just can't connect or relate to people. Eye contact also scares me, I hate having to look at people's eyes. They intimidate me.

I also have trouble initiating tasks, doing complicated multi-step tasks, and switching between tasks. Basically I have trouble with a large daunting task, it overwhelms me to the point where I can't do it because I can't break it down into smaller pieces. I'm terrible at organization and planning, and am not able to manage my time. I never understood time management. I also don't have a sense of time either. I hate unexpected interruptions, I hate having to switch between tasks because I've entered like a groove (I think they call it hyper-focus)?

Curious cause you mention executive dysfunction being an issue have you tried ADHD meds before?

 

[sserafim]

Curious cause you mention executive dysfunction being an issue have you tried ADHD meds before?

Yeah, I have ADHD as well as ASD. I used to take meds during school, and they helped a lot. I already graduated though so I'm not taking them anymore.

 

[spinningship]

Another thing is that I've always been self aware and conscious, socially, with the way I look ( which led to pretty bad body dysmorphia ) , with what I do etc and from what I understand autistic people lack that?

There's a difference between being socially anxious and socially aware. Someone who is socially anxious has a bad model of how other people are thinking and thinks that people are always thinking negatively about them even when they're just minding their own business.

Social awareness is where you're in tune with what people around you are thinking and feeling, whether it's positive or negative. If you assume everyone is thinking negatively about you, you'll probably be right some or even most of the time, but you'll also end up pushing genuine people away.

I was in a similar situation to you in my last 2 years of high school. I'd had the same friends for 6 years since the start of school, all of us were social outcasts, and we didn't get on that well anymore because we were all sick of each other frankly. I never saw anyone outside of school and neither did any of my friends. I was super depressed, and I felt inferior to everyone around me. I didn't think I was worthy of being called a human. In the smallest of interactions, which were all I had, all I wanted was for them to know that I was a human being just like them. I didn't understand why there was a larger and larger gap opening between my social experiences and everyone else's and it made me feel defective.

All of this was in the context of me not knowing I was autistic. Or rather in the last year of high school I kind of contemplated it, maybe in the same way that you are contemplating it now. As I learned more about it I grew to resent my friend who I suspected was autistic. Every time they did something which I thought of as being autistic I hated him for it because it mirrored my behaviour. I didn't want to be autistic because to me that meant that the miserable existence I'd been trapped in for years was going to be how the rest of my life played out. And also probably because I'd internalized some shame and stigma around being autistic.

I wanted so badly to not be autistic that it didn't matter how much evidence or how many symptoms I displayed, I was always going to explain it away as either social anxiety or trauma or some combination. All this is to say that you basically can't figure this stuff out without an objective professional diagnosis. The reason for the diagnosis isn't so you can get help because there are very few resources available, it's so that you can resolve the matter psychologically. Personally, I didn't get a professional diagnosis, but I took a psychedelic which was able to resolve the cognitive dissonance.

TLDR: Try to get a professional diagnosis, nothing anyone says here is going to resolve matters.

 

[26mmmm]

There's a difference between being socially anxious and socially aware. Someone who is socially anxious has a bad model of how other people are thinking and thinks that people are always thinking negatively about them even when they're just minding their own business.

Social awareness is where you're in tune with what people around you are thinking and feeling, whether it's positive or negative. If you assume everyone is thinking negatively about you, you'll probably be right some or even most of the time, but you'll also end up pushing genuine people away.

I was in a similar situation to you in my last 2 years of high school. I'd had the same friends for 6 years since the start of school, all of us were social outcasts, and we didn't get on that well anymore because we were all sick of each other frankly. I never saw anyone outside of school and neither did any of my friends. I was super depressed, and I felt inferior to everyone around me. I didn't think I was worthy of being called a human. In the smallest of interactions, which were all I had, all I wanted was for them to know that I was a human being just like them. I didn't understand why there was a larger and larger gap opening between my social experiences and everyone else's and it made me feel defective.

All of this was in the context of me not knowing I was autistic. Or rather in the last year of high school I kind of contemplated it, maybe in the same way that you are contemplating it now. As I learned more about it I grew to resent my friend who I suspected was autistic. Every time they did something which I thought of as being autistic I hated him for it because it mirrored my behaviour. I didn't want to be autistic because to me that meant that the miserable existence I'd been trapped in for years was going to be how the rest of my life played out. And also probably because I'd internalized some shame and stigma around being autistic.

I wanted so badly to not be autistic that it didn't matter how much evidence or how many symptoms I displayed, I was always going to explain it away as either social anxiety or trauma or some combination. All this is to say that you basically can't figure this stuff out without an objective professional diagnosis. The reason for the diagnosis isn't so you can get help because there are very few resources available, it's so that you can resolve the matter psychologically. Personally, I didn't get a professional diagnosis, but I took a psychedelic which was able to resolve the cognitive dissonance.

TLDR: Try to get a professional diagnosis, nothing anyone says here is going to resolve matters.

Got it thanks. Im trying to be more sure about first tho. I've managed to gather some more traits and im still searching.
Also, im definitely socially anxious, I've been having awful social anxiety for years now, and when I say im socially aware I mean im way too aware of myself in social situations, the way I look, behave, etc.

 

[Linda]

I am currently 18 years old, I've been raised wrong and I think thats why I have most of my issues, but im wondering if I might be autistic which might have exacerbated everything.
I don't have most symptoms which I think are common with autistic people, like hand flapping, t-rex arms etc but I still have a few:

- I've had social anxiety and body image issues since atleast the age of 12, the social anxiety could have been developed due to isolation but I think it started before I was really isolating myself too much and that the isolation just made it way worse overtime.

- Im pretty sensitive to some smells, light, sounds and textures:

I would easily get carsick when in an old car because of the smell, and would most times have my shirt over my nose for the entire ride.
The smell of coffee in a car also made me carsick easily, im slightly sensitive to the smell in general but I think that it's mainly because I associate it with car sickness.
Im a bit sensitive to light after not being exposed to it for a while, but im pretty sure thats normal.
I cant stand the dry texture of my feet or hands and the sound when rubbing my feet against certain things or rubbing my hands together when they are dry
I get shivers just from imagining the texture and sound id get from rubbing my feet against a couch for example.
As a kid I would sometimes lick my hands to avoid the dry, stripy feeling.

- Im slightly hypermobile, my knees are hyperextended and my fingers sometimes cave in too much
My posture is bad, but that's probably caused by years of being sedentary.

- My coordination isn't the best, tho not too bad to be a concern.

- I was told that as a baby I needed some physiotherapy to strengthen.


Are any other common symptoms I should check for?

There is a very simple test that you can do online, called the AQ test, or Autism Spectrum Quotient test. It's not a definitive diagnosis, but it comes close. I'm not autistic, but I did the test a few days ago and, to my surprise, scored 26 out of the possible 50, which means I have some autistic traits. (That makes a lot of sense, when I think about it, and explains numerous things about myself.) If you get a very low score, you are definitely not autistic. If you get a very high score, you probably are, but it would be a good idea to get that confirmed by a professional medical person who has experience in this area.

 

[26mmmm]

There is a very simple test that you can do online, called the AQ test, or Autism Spectrum Quotient test. It's not a definitive diagnosis, but it comes close. I'm not autistic, but I did the test a few days ago and, to my surprise, scored 26 out of the possible 50, which means I have some autistic traits. (That makes a lot of sense, when I think about it, and explains numerous things about myself.) If you get a very low score, you are definitely not autistic. If you get a very high score, you probably are, but it would be a good idea to get that confirmed by a professional medical person who has experience in this area.

I've been trying some online assessments but couldn't really get accurate results because I dont remember everything about my past, I don't have enough life experiences in some areas to know certain things about myself, the answer format doesn't really allow me to answer accurately etc.
I've been having more success by watching youtube videos about autistic traits and similar stuff.
At first I thought I didn't share most common traits but now digging deeper into it I think I might in a way, maybe just mildly but thats still something.
What makes me more confident in it is things that aren't abstract, like having hypermobility and a "resting bitch face" which seem to be related to autism.
Being autistic would explain so much and would definitely allow me to achieve my life goals and be happy way more easily, so I really hope if works out.
Up until now I have been blaming my issues on certain life circumstances , but I feel like ot makes sense that I have autism which exacerbated the outcome, or maybe caused certain things to develop in the first place.

Edit - just tried the test, got a 25, but I really feel like I've answered inaccurately based on the reasons I gave. In other assesments it mostly turns out not autistic, but I feel like those are inaccurate too for the same reasons.

 

[_Broken_alice]

This is not at all a substitute for seeing a professional about this, but this can give you a good idea. Aspie_quiz We hate the name of the site, but find this to be the best by far of the ones floating around. The others are not nearly as thorough and well done. You also don't need to make an account. You can go right to the quiz.
We are professionally diagnosed and just retook this and scored 167/200... Anyone that knows what to look for notices something is really off with us very quickly if we can't mask exceptionally well in that moment. Even people that don't know what to look for notice we are very atypical.

At the least, it can give you an indicator. If you score fairly high, it may very well be worth seeking a professional diagnosis if you can. Even if you score low, it may be worth it. The diagnosis process using the DSM-V will also cover a lot of other stuff. If you go that route, be honest about everything except thoughts of CTB'ing...

 

[26mmmm]

This is not at all a substitute for seeing a professional about this, but this can give you a good idea. Aspie_quiz We hate the name of the site, but find this to be the best by far of the ones floating around. The others are not nearly as thorough and well done. You also don't need to make an account. You can go right to the quiz.
We are professionally diagnosed and just retook this and scored 167/200... Anyone that knows what to look for notices something is really off with us very quickly if we can't mask exceptionally well in that moment. Even people that don't know what to look for notice we are very atypical.

At the least, it can give you an indicator. If you score fairly high, it may very well be worth seeking a professional diagnosis if you can. Even if you score low, it may be worth it. The diagnosis process using the DSM-V will also cover a lot of other stuff. If you go that route, be honest about everything except thoughts of CTB'ing...

Tried it a few days ago and I don't think I scored very high. The answering format is fine, but I just dont remember alot about my past to answer certain questions, I dont have enough life experience in certain areas ( I barely socialize nowadays ) to know certain things about myself, I just dont understand some of the questions and some things I just dont know yet because I didn't dig deep enough. So even with that test I feel like the result im getting is inaccurate.

 

[_Broken_alice]

Tried it a few days ago and I don't think I scored very high. The answering format is fine, but I just dont remember alot about my past to answer certain questions, I dont have enough life experience in certain areas ( I barely socialize nowadays ) to know certain things about myself, I just dont understand some of the questions and some things I just dont know yet because I didn't dig deep enough. So even with that test I feel like the result im getting is inaccurate.

That would make it a lot more difficult :(

 

[26mmmm]

That would make it a lot more difficult :(

Yeah but im managing to find some traits by watching yt videos

 

[spinningship]

Got it thanks. Im trying to be more sure about first tho. I've managed to gather some more traits and im still searching.
Also, im definitely socially anxious, I've been having awful social anxiety for years now, and when I say im socially aware I mean im way too aware of myself in social situations, the way I look, behave, etc.

Yes autistic people can be aware of how they look, behave, etc. Especially if they've had a rough childhood.

 

[26mmmm]

Yes autistic people can be aware of how they look, behave, etc. Especially if they've had a rough childhood.

My childhood was great,
I dont recall anything specific that has caused me to develop social anxiety and body dysmorphia and be so self conscious and aware.
I've always blamed it on the way my parents raised me, and on isolation for worsening it, but maybe its related to autism.

 

[spinningship]

My childhood was great,
I dont recall anything specific that has caused me to develop social anxiety and body dysmorphia and be so self conscious and aware.
I've always blamed it on the way my parents raised me, and on isolation for worsening it, but maybe its related to autism.

Oh, I took you saying the way your parents raised you to mean you had problems early on, my bad. Isolation tends to come along with autism is the problem. You said you went to school at least, so were you able to get on with people there?

 

[26mmmm]

Oh, I took you saying the way your parents raised you to mean you had problems early on, my bad. Isolation tends to come along with autism is the problem. You said you went to school at least, so were you able to get on with people there?

I've had friends as a child and growing up too, I've had friends in highschool too but I would mostly hang around with small groups, and I was never really outgoing, there we'rent any true, close friendships, I mostly just talked with them at school. I would mostly prefer being on my own playing video games and watching films if I remember correctly.
I was pretty reserved and quiet, and had pretty awful social anxiety, anything group related would trigger the worst reactions, so naturally I avoided that for the most part.
Then at around the age of 15 I developed some pretty bad body dysmorphia and as a result depression and suicidal ideations.
I got more and more isolated to the point where I stopped showing up at school.
At the time I had somehow managed to develop some online friendship with a few kids from my school, Its funny, I would be open and talk alot online but barely talked with them at school, even tho its a pretty small school and I always saw them.

was sent to a psychologist, but it didn't help at all because I didn't feel like I need the help and I barely know how messed up I was.
So I kept going to school in periods but eventually stopped showing up completely, got sent to another psychologist and soon enough to a different, much smaller school where im at right now at 18. I've lost all my friends in this process and am pretty lonely nowadays.

 

[Linda]

I've been trying some online assessments but couldn't really get accurate results because I dont remember everything about my past, I don't have enough life experiences in some areas to know certain things about myself, the answer format doesn't really allow me to answer accurately etc.
I've been having more success by watching youtube videos about autistic traits and similar stuff.
At first I thought I didn't share most common traits but now digging deeper into it I think I might in a way, maybe just mildly but thats still something.
What makes me more confident in it is things that aren't abstract, like having hypermobility and a "resting bitch face" which seem to be related to autism.
Being autistic would explain so much and would definitely allow me to achieve my life goals and be happy way more easily, so I really hope if works out.
Up until now I have been blaming my issues on certain life circumstances , but I feel like ot makes sense that I have autism which exacerbated the outcome, or maybe caused certain things to develop in the first place.

Edit - just tried the test, got a 25, but I really feel like I've answered inaccurately based on the reasons I gave. In other assesments it mostly turns out not autistic, but I feel like those are inaccurate too for the same reasons.

It sounds as though you are like me: not autistic, but probably with a few autistic traits. In my case some of those traits are valuable. The not so good ones are sometimes mildly annoying, but not severe enough to be a problem.

 

[26mmmm]

Oh, I took you saying the way your parents raised you to mean you had problems early on, my bad. Isolation tends to come along with autism is the problem. You said you went to school at least, so were you able to get on with people there?

Also, I've never endured bullying, just slight teasing at a younger age, because there just weren't any bullies at my highschool, if there were I could have been singled out. I wasn't a freak but definitely was weird socially, being quiet and reserved.

It sounds as though you are like me: not autistic, but probably with a few autistic traits. In my case some of those traits are valuable. The not so good ones are sometimes mildly annoying, but not severe enough to be a problem.

I hope thats not the case but its probable. Maybe ill be able to score higher on these tests once I understand myself more.