a333

a333

Member
Aug 24, 2023
10
i'm thinking about going through all my things and giving away or throwing away most of the things i own, but i want to do this so i can start a new and give myself a fresh start. at the same time i may want to do this so i don't give any family trouble if i ctb. how many of you have done this and how did it affect your thoughts and general mental well-being?
 
AshClouds

AshClouds

In time I started growing inward.
Apr 10, 2023
296
Giving away prized possessions is seen as a warning side of suicide, so it could be mistaken the wrong way. I think having a symbolic "fresh start" could be a nice positive psychological boost that you need, although keep in mind that feeling is temporary and you'll have to keep the momentum rolling forward
 
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saddavyd

Member
Sep 18, 2023
47
Please be careful. All I can suggest, if you are looking to get rid of your possession I.E. make big changes, is think on it and take it very slowly and see if it feels like the right thing. It needs to be your decision, I'd suggest. Sometimes having this stuff gives you a sense of who you are and of control over your life.

I would hate for you to regret doing this and end up in a worse place mentally. Think carefully.

I have been through this to an extreme level and I can't say it has been a positive experience. I had support from friends to make a fresh start and move on and I brutally sold and de-cluttered. I sold my house of 26 years and a favourite car of 13 years, in order to move on. My mood was low at the time I did this. That was not a good state of mind to be in. It is never good to make big decisions when you are in a low, or elevated mood.

I moved back with my wife into her new house as a trial (we separated last year). I moved in with her a month ago. It's not working. I regret selling the house we lived in for 26 years and everything has changed, it feels for the worse, much worse.

I'm now suicidal and have been very close to ending it. I'm still with my wife, but hate the house and wish I could go back. Wish everything was as it was. I can't and it's breaking me! What have I done. I know I need to accept this has happened. But I can't.

In my case it might work out, but the pain I've suffered has been unbearable and in hindsight I'd 100% rather not have done it. But that's life.

I can't understand why I did it. Maybe it is self-harm. Maybe it's the bipolar. All I can do now is let it be as it is and try to process the loss. I want to die every day.

Sorry for sharing that.
 
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a333

a333

Member
Aug 24, 2023
10
Please be careful. All I can suggest, if you are looking to get rid of your possession I.E. make big changes, is think on it and take it very slowly and see if it feels like the right thing. It needs to be your decision, I'd suggest. Sometimes having this stuff gives you a sense of who you are and of control over your life.

I would hate for you to regret doing this and end up in a worse place mentally. Think carefully.

I have been through this to an extreme level and I can't say it has been a positive experience. I had support from friends to make a fresh start and move on and I brutally sold and de-cluttered. I sold my house of 26 years and a favourite car of 13 years, in order to move on. My mood was low at the time I did this. That was not a good state of mind to be in. It is never good to make big decisions when you are in a low, or elevated mood.

I moved back with my wife into her new house as a trial (we separated last year). I moved in with her a month ago. It's not working. I regret selling the house we lived in for 26 years and everything has changed, it feels for the worse, much worse.

I'm now suicidal and have been very close to ending it. I'm still with my wife, but hate the house and wish I could go back. Wish everything was as it was. I can't and it's breaking me! What have I done. I know I need to accept this has happened. But I can't.

In my case it might work out, but the pain I've suffered has been unbearable and in hindsight I'd 100% rather not have done it. But that's life.

I can't understand why I did it. Maybe it is self-harm. Maybe it's the bipolar. All I can do now is let it be as it is and try to process the loss. I want to die every day.

Sorry for sharing that.
no need to be sorry at all for sharing i actually really appreciate you sharing. last few months i've gone through testing and seeing a lot of doctors for bipolar and believe that when i was considering this it could have been out of mania. so i completely understand where you're coming from.

what i ended up doing is packing away a few things and throwing out some clothes, toiletries ect and replaced them with new ones and i found it kinda helped? also getting new bedsheets i found really helped me lol. i am sorry to hear all of that it sounds exhausting i wouldn't mind chatting if you ever need and wish you the best and genuinely appreciate you sharing <3
 
S

saddavyd

Member
Sep 18, 2023
47
You are very welcome. It's nice to be appreciated. And if some good can come if my disaster then that's good. I think you have done the right thing.

I thought for a few hours yesterday that a possible way ahead for me would be to use my experience to help others. This morning though I am back with strong thoughts of ctb.

I think I might try again today. My preferred method is partial. I don't like it and have found it impossible to go through with to date but it's practical.

The fact that James has gone always meant life was never going to be as good. Now that I'm living in a modern house where there is minimal breeze (still too hot even in October) which has no character, I'm waking every day with discomfort and disappointment, so life has got worse still. I have tried hard enough to make life work for me, and I think I deserve the right to at least try to end it all and give up the fight.

I don't think my family will understand, unless I'm brutally honest, which will involve saying hurtful things and really bring home to them how much pain I have suffered. I don't want them to know the full extent of my pain, so I'll I'll have to keep it to myself and live with them not understanding fully, or die with it if I'm successful today or whenever.

The system, the people involved (accountant, solicitor, maybe friends, my wife) really should have protected me from selling my house, but I can't blame them. I'm just so disappointed, physically and mentally suffering and I'm ready to leave it all behind now. I feel like I'm at the end of round 10, after being brutally beaten and knocked down once more. Although help is there, I'm so tired and it's me that has to come out for round 11 and the fight isn't in me any more. I'd like it if my family can understand that. It may be selfish, but I've been fighting on and off for nearly 20 years. That's enough.
 
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NoHorizon

Experienced
Nov 22, 2022
276
I often think about doing this and have been getting rid of bits here and there. I hate clutter and I think it'd be helpful to my family clearing my home out after I'm gone to have less junk. I think as long as you're not too ruthless (ie keep things if they mean something to you or you use them) then it's a good idea.
 
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RoundaboutResolved

RoundaboutResolved

Stuck in a roundabout with no exits!
Apr 5, 2023
820
Go for it, not like you can take it with you! But like above, moderation is the key. Keep the daily items that are actually used. If you haven't touched something in 6 months, toss it! Also if it's personal/meaningful to you in some way keep it. But if someone just gave it you... don't worry about their feelings, just toss it.

Misc clutter builds up over time & can add to the feeling of being dragging down. Very cathartic to get rid of the excess and get down to your core (so to speak) when it comes to your possessions.

Personally I also find clearing out my phone's text message & call history helpful. Save whatever info/pics need saving & then delete it all. Change your background pic/theme. Like getting a new phone & starting over. Weird maybe, but puts a small smile on my face for a bit.

Sorry if rambling or going off topic. Cheers!
 
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