Games Corrupt-A-Wish.

[agentgeez]

Granted, but you relive it in triple speed to make granting wishes more efficient.

I wish I could articulate myself a lot better verbally.

 

[Deleted member 18655]

Granted, but now you also speak with your hands - the more descriptive the words, the more your hands and fingers move.


I wish I liked housework.

 

[wonderworld]

Granted but now you can't stop thinking about how much you love it and tell every single persons about how much you love it.

I wish I have friends.

 

[Hypergang2018]

Granted, but they will backstab you

I wish I was on a beach in Hawaii right now

 

[Deafsn0w]

Granted, but it's a rainy day

I wish I had money to buy N

 

[Escapist]

Granted, but after you get the money, the price of N will double.

I wish old computer games had more online players.

 

[nomoreenergy]

Granted, but now all the new people drag you down / make the game more annoying

I wish I had a pet cat

 

[SoIntoYou]

Granted! Now he just says "Hello, Jon" all the time

I wish God would just say "fuck it" and implode the Universe.

 

[Soul]

I wish God would just say "fuck it" and implode the Universe.

Granted! You get to watch as all the universes get inhaled back into the singularity they came from ... and then get exhaled back out with kaleidoscopically different rearrangements. God does this regularly when he's smoking weed.

I wish my so-called boyfriend would phone me to take care of some household stuff he left undone and gallavanted off to smoke weed (see above).

 

[agentgeez]

Granted; he phones you and tells you to do his unfinished housework, then goes off to smoke weed.

I wish I completely understood what people were saying, both with hearing and what they mean.

 

[Deleted member 18655]

Granted. But you hear everyone and everything all at once and it turns into nothing but noise.


I wish i liked the taste of alcoholic drinks.

 

[Deafsn0w]

Granted, but alcohol is a poison to your body

I wish I could die in my sleep

 

[Soul]

I wish I could die in my sleep

Granted! As long as you're asleep you can die anytime you want. Over and over again, even! When you wake up you're still alive, though.

I wish a just wind would blow through the world and set things right for everyone who deserves a good life.

 

[fluffysuicidalbear]

Granted, but this wind blows over and kills everyone that deserves a good life.

I wish we could all have the option of a peaceful death whenever we need it.

 

[VIBRITANNIA]

granted, but you're forced to see the effects your death will have on people.

i wish i was eating potato salad.

 

[FriendofDeath]

Granted, but you find you can't stop and eat it for breakfast, lunch and dinner. You eat mustard potato salad, egg potato salad, southwestern potato salad, even Aunt Ruth's potato salad (and the potatoes aren't cooked all the way through.) You become the world's biggest authority on potato salad. Congratulations! (This is something I would do if it was my mother's recipe.)

I wish I could control my dreams.

 

[Soul]

I wish I could control my dreams.

Granted! When you're sleeping you can control your dreams, and when you're awake your dreams can control you. You start doing and saying and wearing genuinely extraordinary things and are designated a World Heritage Performance Artist. Even Bob Dylan is impressed.

I wish I could see what Saturn's rings look like from the surface of the planet, even though it doesn't have a solid surface.

 

[Deleted member 18655]

Granted. But only by holding on to one of the rings (humour me); the minute you let go, you are flung back down to earth.


I wish I could find Waldo. Where is he???

 

[fluffysuicidalbear]

Granted, a genie shows you where "Waldo" is but it was your final wish from the genie and he leaves. Turns out he showed you the wrong Waldo...

I wish for a fresh glass of N!

 

[SoIntoYou]

Granted, a genie shows you where "Waldo" is but it was your final wish from the genie and he leaves. Turns out he showed you the wrong Waldo...

I wish for a fresh glass of N!

Granted! But you have too much left over and your little brother drinks it thinking it's water =(
I wish our memory wasn't wiped every time we reincarnate.

 

[Green Destiny]

Granted now you reincarnate as an igneous rock with your previous memories.
I wish it wasn't so hot where I live.

 

[fluffysuicidalbear]

Granted, where you live is no longer hot but you are forced to move somewhere way hotter!

I wish to lucid dream tonight!

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Granted, but you get rudely awakened by external noise just when the dream is starting to get really good!

I wish I could be neurotypical and have the same opinions as everyone else.

 

[agentgeez]

Granted, but you don't realise that fitting in is an improvement over your past life which you don't remember, so you start wishing you could stand out and be different.

I wish that, just by looking, I could perfectly understand every short and long-term effect any piece of food will have on my mind and body if I ate it.

 

[Soul]

I wish that, just by looking, I could perfectly understand every short and long-term effect any piece of food will have on my mind and body if I ate it.

Granted! You can do it for other people too, and become a highly sought-after dietician. You improve the lives of multitudes and make the whole planet healthier in the process. The only drawback is that food talks out loud to you when you'd rather be watching Netflix.

I wish I knew what forgiveness feels like. I mean when I forgive someone - do I really? Or am I just weary of the grudge?

 

[Garbage Person]

Granted, you now know forgiveness but have become an amnesiac. You continue to forgive people for their wrongdoings but tend to forget what has happened or why. As you make mistakes, you tend to forget about them and repeat said mistakes and people get tired of forgiving you. This leads you to lose your mind as you start leaving yourself notes and getting tattoos to remind yourself how things went so wrong, and to prevent pushing people away.

I wish I could quit smoking.

 

[Thinking]

Granted, you quit easily and never touch a cigarette again. However, now you are addicted to couch cushions. Your family members start noticing their couch cushions disappear every time you come to visit. The addiction has become so bad that you actually break into furniture stores and steal couch cushions so u can satiate this addiction.

I wish I could relax

 

[VIBRITANNIA]

granted, but you can only relax if you carry a heavy bag of rocks with you.

i wish it was raining.

 

[Deafsn0w]

Granted but it was a rain-carried virus

I wish I could eat junk food without worrying about my health

 

[Soul]

I wish I could eat junk food without worrying about my health

Granted! In a momentous breakthrough it has been found that junk food has highly positive effects on the health of people with certain rare genetic combinations, which you happen to have! Indulge your heart out.

I wish I were dead.