Some backstory: I grew up in a poor but not poor family. It's me, my niece and her bf, my sister, and my mom living together. My mom is so financially unstable, she rather use money to buy her bf a new couch rather than pay rent, we're behind on rent and each of us have our own debt (mine is due to a fire during christmas time 2020 where we lost everything and didn't have renters insurance so had to rebuild life from scratch while only working $13 an hour. All we had was the clothes we were wearing, no family to stay with and red cross only kept us for 3 days so we all had to spend a lot to get a new place asap). I've been trying to pay mine off but I can't seem to progress with interest rates and in fall I have to start paying for college out of pocket because financial aid won't cover me anymore because I dropped out the first time I went to college and now I'm only part time. A lot of our financial burden is because my mom doesn't manage money well and my niece is high maintenance and they don't say no to her. Even while in debt they still rented a hall and dj to throw her a sweet 16 last year, which I'm happy for her and she deserves it but there are things like if she says she wants a new pair of jordons and we can barely afford food they'll still get her it.
My rant is, I have a lot of dietary health restrictions (diagnosed with ibs, chronic gastritis, gerd, allergic to milk, corn, and shellfish, and an eating disorder so it's hard to find things that I'll eat) so 95% of they food they make at home or have for snacks are stuff my niece and her bf eat, I can't have it cause they make me sick. I wake up at 5am to go to work then my 2nd job then college and I get home around 8pm or later so I don't have time/energy to cook for myself so I've been buying food out a lot which became very expensive. Eventually I started buying a protein yogurt for breakfast (it surprisingly didn't give me hives like regular yogurt) and I'd skip lunch and dinner and go to sleep hungry unless someone cooked something I can eat. There are times where I'd buy stuff for myself to leave in the kitchen to eat when I'm home but whenever I get home my niece and her boyfriend eats all of it. For example I was having period cravings so I bought a pint of dairy free ice cream and left it in the freezer unopened, the next day I get home and go to get it and it's gone they ate all of it. There was ice cream that they like in the fridge but they still ate mine. Sometimes I'd ubereats dinner and only eat half so I can have the other half the next day for dinner but when i get home from work they already ate it so I have to go to sleep hungry. This happens with everything I buy for myself and I brought this up to my mom and she told me to just be okay with it and I tried explaining that while it may seem like something trival but that one food I ordered and split into multiple meals is because that's all I can afford to do. She told me I'm not allowed to have boundaries because that's my niece. I can't speak to my niece about it cause then she has a bpd episode and self harms. A few days ago I bought a 5 containers of yogurt so i can have breakfast for the next few days since most days that's all I'll have for the entire day and last night I went into the fridge and there was only one left, the rest was gone.
It just feels so unfair, so many things in the kitchen they can have cause they don't have the health issues I have. I would never ask any of them to make/buy food that I can eat, I can buy it for myself but I can't afford to buy it for myself and still not have anything to eat. Why can't I just have the 1% of food I bought for myself. I understand it's good to share but I can't afford to, this is all I have. I wish I was able to have boundaries, I wish I had enough money to buy enough food so everyone else can have. It's so hard.
My rant is, I have a lot of dietary health restrictions (diagnosed with ibs, chronic gastritis, gerd, allergic to milk, corn, and shellfish, and an eating disorder so it's hard to find things that I'll eat) so 95% of they food they make at home or have for snacks are stuff my niece and her bf eat, I can't have it cause they make me sick. I wake up at 5am to go to work then my 2nd job then college and I get home around 8pm or later so I don't have time/energy to cook for myself so I've been buying food out a lot which became very expensive. Eventually I started buying a protein yogurt for breakfast (it surprisingly didn't give me hives like regular yogurt) and I'd skip lunch and dinner and go to sleep hungry unless someone cooked something I can eat. There are times where I'd buy stuff for myself to leave in the kitchen to eat when I'm home but whenever I get home my niece and her boyfriend eats all of it. For example I was having period cravings so I bought a pint of dairy free ice cream and left it in the freezer unopened, the next day I get home and go to get it and it's gone they ate all of it. There was ice cream that they like in the fridge but they still ate mine. Sometimes I'd ubereats dinner and only eat half so I can have the other half the next day for dinner but when i get home from work they already ate it so I have to go to sleep hungry. This happens with everything I buy for myself and I brought this up to my mom and she told me to just be okay with it and I tried explaining that while it may seem like something trival but that one food I ordered and split into multiple meals is because that's all I can afford to do. She told me I'm not allowed to have boundaries because that's my niece. I can't speak to my niece about it cause then she has a bpd episode and self harms. A few days ago I bought a 5 containers of yogurt so i can have breakfast for the next few days since most days that's all I'll have for the entire day and last night I went into the fridge and there was only one left, the rest was gone.
It just feels so unfair, so many things in the kitchen they can have cause they don't have the health issues I have. I would never ask any of them to make/buy food that I can eat, I can buy it for myself but I can't afford to buy it for myself and still not have anything to eat. Why can't I just have the 1% of food I bought for myself. I understand it's good to share but I can't afford to, this is all I have. I wish I was able to have boundaries, I wish I had enough money to buy enough food so everyone else can have. It's so hard.
