Venting im so pathetic

[ona]

im a burden on everyone im around, everyone acts like they care about me but they all know theyre revolted inside. im an adult women still living with her parents and emotionally still a teenager, but i cant even do the things most teenagers do! i have no license, no job, and im only in college because my mom forces me to go. i rely on mom for most things in life, driving placing, cooking, buying necessities, ect.
im a leech on this family and i know that but i cant change anything, i can barely get out of bed most days, and at most when i do its because i havent showered in 3 days or i need to eat so i dont stave myself to death. i know that my family would be better off if i kill myself but im too pathetic to even do that, so i just leech off what i can until they kick me out. for now i just rot everyday.

 

[Claymore7274]

i relate so much to you, ever since covid i've been living like this, it's just been so long i don't think it's reversible, my parents enabled me to be utterly useless, i'm scared to work, scared to talk to people, anxious all the time for the littlest things, so pathethic i have been pretending to be doing my online class assignments, i can't even drive myself to do that, it snowballed out of control

I feel shame being around family members, when they all have progressed in life i'm still here.

Despite being 20 now, i feel as if i still was 16, seemingly stuck in time, stagnant, it's truly a horrible feeling,
i have been planning my fifth attempt but i don't think i could even do it.

i'm just so fucking scared

i hope we can both get out of this damned shithole, whatever way that might be