Discussion Constantly rejecting "love"

[Gray Wounds]

I don't know why, but I always do. I cannot accept it. Not because I don't think I deserve it but because I strongly believe that I do not even need it. And I guess I end up hurting a lot of human beings because of this.

I also cannot give "love" towards anyone. Except for my cats of course and for my writing. But to human beings... no. It's just a plain impossible thing for me to create and accept.

It's easy to say it and to tell everyone or anyone that you love them, etc. And I do not understand its concept. What is love? Idk what it is. It's just a hollow word in front of me.

Anyone else?

 

[Threads]

Shit, I wish that was my problem.

Anyone who I have truly developed feelings for, simply walks the fuck out. I guess that's what I like, unavailable and out of reach.

I like what I can't have =]

 

[Gray Wounds]

I like what I can't have =]

deep.

 

[ultraviolet sin]

I don't know why, but I always do. I cannot accept it. Not because I don't think I deserve it but because I strongly believe that I do not even need it. And I guess I end up hurting a lot of human beings because of this.

I also cannot give "love" towards anyone. Except for my cats of course and for my writing. But to human beings... no. It's just a plain impossible thing for me to create and accept.

It's easy to say it and to tell everyone or anyone that you love them, etc. And I do not understand its concept. What is love? Idk what it is. It's just a hollow word in front of me.

Anyone else?

I love you for making this post. Why? I'm ctb this week and it resonates with me. I'm all about spreading love the last two weeks in pursuit of reassuring others and better understanding the various types in my life.


Because you're an internet stranger and there's nothing to lose. maybe practice showing some love online. :)

 

[Tiburcio]

I suffer the opposite condition: I can feel love for some humans if I consider them worthy enough but I'm completely unabled to feel something toward animals.

P.S. Not feeling love is a huge advantage, not depending of nobody for feeling loved will give you a lot of strenght.

 

[Gray Wounds]

I love you for making this post. Why? I'm ctb this week and it resonates with me. I'm all about spreading love the last two weeks in pursuit of reassuring others and better understanding the various types in my life.


Because you're an internet stranger and there's nothing to lose. maybe practice showing some love online. :)

thanks for that. but I really do not know what or how love feels like towards human beings.

 

[Tiburcio]

thanks for that. but I really do not know what or how love feels like towards human beings.

To put it simply: betrayal. Constant betrayal against you, complainments and if you are jealous, lots of envy.

 

[Gray Wounds]

To put it simply: betray. Constant betray against you, complainments and if you are jealous, lots of envy.

very different from the meanings contained in dictionaries and romantic novels.

 

[Gray Wounds]

To put it simply: betrayal. Constant betrayal against you, complainments and if you are jealous, lots of envy.

it is so complex.

 

[Tiburcio]

very different from the meanings contained in dictionaries and romantic novels.

Society romanticized everything. Don't be fooled, pure love is sooooo rare that trying to find it is directly unworthy.

 

[ultraviolet sin]

very different from the meanings contained in dictionaries and romantic novels.

I'll break it down. If a friend thought about me and got me lunch on the way to visit me, there's some adoration there, definitely. I'm certainly not showing hate ha!

 

[ultraviolet sin]

Society romanticized everything. Don't be fooled, pure love is sooooo rare that trying to find it is directly unworthy.

Oh love distilled into it's purest form is everywhere. You ever done a toy donation run and get to hand out toys to the needy? Nothing but Love as currency.

 

[Gray Wounds]

Society romanticized everything. Don't be fooled, pure love is sooooo rare that trying to find it is directly unworthy.

I agree with this. And it is poetic too.

 

[Gray Wounds]

I'll break it down. If a friend thought about me and got me lunch on the way to visit me, there's some adoration there, definitely. I'm certainly not showing hate ha!

you used the term "adoration". is adoration that close to love?

 

[Tiburcio]

Oh love distilled into it's purest form is everywhere. You ever done a toy donation run and get to hand out toys to the needy? Nothing but Love as currency.

I think he means love in relationships.

 

[Gray Wounds]

love in relationships

love in a human relationship. love towards kin or anything like that. I guess the topic I presented is quite wide in its nature.

 

[ultraviolet sin]

you used the term "adoration". is adoration that close to love?

Yes. It's respect, appreciation, and love in a way. My particular mindset: friendship is based on love.

Many don't have friends they dislike spending time with..usually.

 

[ultraviolet sin]

love in a human relationship. love towards kin or anything like that. I guess the topic I presented is quite wide in its nature.

Glad you specified it down, though. If it's alright, can I ask what started you thinking about your inability to love?

 

[Gray Wounds]

Yes. It's respect, appreciation, and love in a way. My particular mindset: friendship is based on love.

Many don't have friends they dislike spending time with..usually.

I see.

I do not actually believe in friendship. And I do not also use it to the extent where its meaning is intended to be satiated. Humans call me their "friend" but I do not do the same to them. For me, friendship is nothing but a word, a term, an empty term. I do not comply with the idea of it and also rejects it.

 

[Gray Wounds]

Glad you specified it down, though. If it's alright, can I ask what started you thinking about your inability to love?

When humans started to tell me about it, only then did I had the idea of me being incapable to feel, accept, understand, and give love to them. I was often branded a misanthrope. And I really have no idea of why I should accept or give or understand human love.

 

[ultraviolet sin]

I see.

I do not actually believe in friendship. And I do not also use it to the extent where its meaning is intended to be satiated. Humans call me their "friend" but I do not do the same to them. For me, friendship is nothing but a word, a term, an empty term. I do not comply with the idea of it and also rejects it.

I can really relate to this. I use the word because it's societally accepted. It's a polite thing.

When humans started to tell me about it, only then did I had the idea of me being incapable to feel, accept, understand, and give love to them. I was often branded a misanthrope. And I really have no idea of why I should accept or give or understand human love.

Oh yes. I'm a misanthrope also. I can't answer to why you should honesty. I go through phases where I am not always a staunch misanthropic asshole (the rare times life is going 100%) then default back.

 

[Final Escape]

Yea I think because I was not loved as a child by either of my parents I had no real understanding of what love looks like. I think it's different from taking care of a person just because of obligation when they would rather be rid of you lol! I'm absolutely positive I have an attachment disorder and often would only attach to people who also couldn't love or were not that into me. I was probably repeating the unresolved dilemmas of my childhood, trying to get people to love me who do not or can't. Even if they did care for me I eventually lost interest for various reasons. It disturbed me that I could really like someone but then suddenly lose interest. I didn't understand that it's normal for the honeymoon phase to wear off and then u see the other person for what they really are lol! After a number of these type of relationships which moved way too fast. I realized that I may not be capable of a relationship and gave up. Plus as I got older I'm not attractive to men I find attractive. This is how u end up ruining your ability to find a long term commitment. Especially if u are having sex with someone b4 a commitment. It clouds your judgement and makes u brush over their flaws until u wake up and realize you are in a toxic relationship or just not with someone good for u.

 

[Gray Wounds]

I can really relate to this. I use the word because it's societally accepted. It's a polite thing.


Oh yes. I'm a misanthrope also. I can't answer to why you should honesty. I go through phases where I am not always a staunch misanthropic asshole (the rare times life is going 100%) then default back.

I see. Thank you for your thoughts, ultraviolet sin.

 

[Gray Wounds]

Yea I think because I was not loved as a child by either of my parents I had no real understanding of what love looks like. I think it's different from taking care of a person just because of obligation when they would rather be rid of you lol! I'm absolutely positive I have an attachment disorder and often would only attach to people who also couldn't love or were not that into me. I was probably repeating the unresolved dilemmas of my childhood, trying to get people to love me who do not or can't. Even if they did care for me I eventually lost interest for various reasons. It disturbed me that I could really like someone but then suddenly lose interest. I didn't understand that it's normal for the honeymoon phase to wear off and then u see the other person for what they really are lol! After a number of these type of relationships which moved way too fast. I realized that I may not be capable of a relationship and gave up. Plus as I got older I'm not attractive to men I find attractive. This is how u end up ruining your ability to find a long term commitment. Especially if u are having sex with someone b4 a commitment. It clouds your judgement and makes u brush over their flaws until u wake up and realize you are in a toxic relationship or just not with someone good for u.

You have an interesting perspective regarding the topic. I can almost relate to it. Aside from the commitment matter and the relationship ones.