I understand 100% OP. I too am also in a constant state of severe anxiety and distress. I don't want to leave my home. My body is in constant pain, my digestive system is destroyed.
I would like to die based solely on wanting relief from the physical suffering of the anxiety.
Like, panic is my baseline. That's my brain and body's default setting. And nothing I have tried has changed that. I take meds to take the edge off, but nothing has ever reduced it to a manageable level.