Venting Constant background desire to self-harm

[pieceoffox]

I was in remission from self-harm (for several months). After a relapse, I began to be haunted by a constant urge to cut myself. Before, it was mostly driven by emotions, but now I constantly need to feel the pain of cutting. If I don't feel pain, I eventually relapse, and each time I have to buy a new razor because superficial cutting no longer helps. It's a very obsessive need, and I don't know what to do about it. And so, it's really hard to resist it because it always kills me. I feel like an addict going through withdrawal. I don't know why I'm writing this here, just to vent. Maybe someone else is experiencing similar problems