just a couple hours ago while drunk I wrote this ridiculous crap to the director of student affairs at my college about something that happened last semester. Feel free to laugh, I am too right now.
I feel discriminated on the basis of my mental health disability (I am a DSPS member). On several occasions, *********** suggested that I was too mentally disabled to take his class. As a result, I lost confidence in myself, dropped the class, and engaged in self harm. I have depression, anxiety, and a personality disorder, and many people assume that I am intellectually disabled because of my social issues and difficulties being present and paying attention. Because of all this, I missed a midterm and took a W in the class.
The incidents occurred over the course of the Spring 2023 semester in my Chem **** class. I don't have dates and times because I didn't record the incidents at the time, and I understand if nothing can be done because of that and because I am a semester late in reporting this. As a result, the date that I put in was just a random date in the Spring semester. But here are some examples of what happened:
*On the first day of class, he was talking to a student (who I suspect to have ASD) and then turned to my table, paying particular attention to me, and asked if "anybody else was not neurotypical"
*Came to my table with a higher frequency than other tables and asking if I understood everything. This was embarrassing and isolated, and made me feel more different than I already do.
*Said my name exasperatedly after I dropped a test tube, like I was the mentally challenged person who always messes everything up
*Tolerated another group of students in the class who were bullying me and who actually called me a "retard" to my face
*I was leaving lab class. I had partnered up with my neighbor to complete the lab. Almost everyone else in class had partnered up as well. At the end of class, *********** thanked my lab partner and told him to have a good weekend (he never usually did this). He came up behind me and said "It's up to you..." before I left. He was implying that my lab partner had shouldered the burden of having me as a lab partner, and that I wasn't capable and shouldn't be in the class anyways.
*Implied that I should be working in the campus bookstore stocking the books instead of taking his class
All of these made me feel uncomfortable in lab class, made me feel powerless and frustrated, and made me question what the point of me going to college was. I wondered if people like me even belonged in college. I stopped cutting myself years ago, but I did punch and slap myself in the face for being worthless and stupid on many occasions because of *********'s behavior.
I applied to work as a tutor for the computer science department, and, because discrimination of this type is often systemic, I am concerned that ********* may influence the decision to hire me as a tutor if, for example, he is asked for a reference. My ultimate goal is to have my "W" grade removed from my transcript because I feel that the main reason I dropped the class was the discrimination and subsequent mental difficulty. Also, I want to become a data point regarding ********'s behavior towards students with learning, intellectual, or mental health challenges.
Again, I have no proof, but if being a data point is all I can do at this point, then, as it usually goes for ND people, "it is what it is".
Thanks,
*ME*
