Considering tonight

[heylightiforgot]

My mental state is deteriorating. I can't sleep properly anymore. I'm becoming very agitated, restless and aggressive, which is bad news when I'm so sick and helpless around my abusive family. I worry about lashing out soon and ending up in a psych ward (where I would most surely die due to my poor health).

Unfortunately, the restlessness and cognitive issues are making planning an actual attempt difficult, but I just can't hold on anymore. This is going to get very bad.

I'm going to eat at 10pm, as I usually do. I was considering skipping my 1am meal and then attempting at 4am with SN. Here are my concerns:

1. The downside is my family will be home and asleep and I can't use anything to mask the noise if I vomit etc. Our bedrooms are all very close to each other.

2. My stomach is very inflamed (it constantly hurts/feels irritated) and I feel it's almost certain I'd throw the SN up, but that doesn't necessarily mean failure?

3. I don't have benzos or anything on hand to really calm me down or get my thoughts together. My mom gives me one benzo a night to sleep, but it doesn't do much anymore. I guess I could take it beforehand. I know we aren't meant to attempt 'impulsively'. Also, eating relaxes me so I worry about fasting just adding to the agitation. Not to mention, meto can cause akathisia, which I already have to some degree.

Does this all sound a bit reckless?

Other options are to eat my 1am meal as usual, skip bedtime meal and try around 8/9am when it's just my mom home. Or try to sleep and attempt when I wake up at midday. I just like the idea of doing it at night in my bed, when it's dark and cozy. I feel like my poor health is really the 'wild card' here in everything.
Hm well I've calmed down a little and reconsidered and don't think 4am is all that wise. The single benzo I take before bed does keep me calm-ish, before it wears off so I think it might be better to just go through my 'night' as normal and try to sleep etc. Then I can either decide if I want to skip my bedtime meal, stay up a few hours and attempt; or eat my bedtime meal at 6am, try to get a little rest, then do it at midday.

Honestly though, my stomach is scaring me :/ I do have two antiemetics on hand (meto and Zofran) but don't know if those will really halt the terrible inflammation I've been experiencing.

 

[Eurus]

I don't know anything about the method so I can't comment on that,but I can suggest the best time is when you closer to being alone,that's about all.but no matter what you choose I wish you luck in that endeavor

 

[heylightiforgot]

Unfortunately, I'm never alone at home :/ the only advantage of attempting earlier in the morning is my mom will be here working and distracted, and I can use white noise (which I play to sleep) to mask sounds.

 

[Eurus]

The closest you can get to being alone is (in my opinion) the best

 

[heylightiforgot]

I am curious to hear people's opinions on the risk of throwing up and failing with stomach issues? I mean I don't tend to throw up as part of my illness, but yeah my stomach is generally pretty 'irritated'

 

[Stan]

I am curious to hear people's opinions on the risk of throwing up and failing with stomach issues? I mean I don't tend to throw up as part of my illness, but yeah my stomach is generally pretty 'irritated'

SN is an irritant in itself, prolonged contact on the skin will cause discomfort. If you have problems with your stomach already it may play a factor in causing a negative reaction. I don't think anyone can guess their own reaction to SN never mind guessing someone else. I know that you are looking for reassurance or a definitive answer, but I will say that if someone does say "everything will be fine" then they are talking bullshit. I base that statement on the fact you say you have stomach issues. You know the risk.

I will say this though. Fasting is not an absolute must for SN to work. Fasting makes it work quicker. It's not what you throw up that counts, its what you keep down. People have reported throwing up and still passed.

 

[heylightiforgot]

SN is an irritant in itself, prolonged contact on the skin will cause discomfort. If you have problems with your stomach already it may play a factor in causing a negative reaction. I don't think anyone can guess their own reaction to SN never mind guessing someone else. I know that you are looking for reassurance or a definitive answer, but I will say that if someone does say "everything will be fine" then they are talking bullshit. I base that statement on the fact you say you have stomach issues. You know the risk.

I will say this though. Fasting is not an absolute must for SN to work. Fasting makes it work quicker. It's not what you throw up that counts, its what you keep down. People have reported throwing up and still passed.

Yeah the reassurance seeking is my OCD lol. Fasting isn't a must but I assume antiemetics are. Can those be taken on a non empty stomach?

 

[Stan]

Fasting isn't a must but I assume antiemetics are. Can those be taken on a non empty stomach?

Check the label on the box for how to take the medicine. Normally tells you the times and whether to take with food or not. If it says nothing about that, then you can safely assume that empty stomach is fine.

 

[heylightiforgot]

Check the label on the box for how to take the medicine. Normally tells you the times and whether to take with food or not. If it says nothing about that, then you can safely assume that empty stomach is fine.

Well the AE I have is meto. Can I take both meto and zofran together?

 

[Stan]

Well the AE I have is meto. Can I take both meto and zofran together?

have you not researched the drug interaction? Quite easy to do

 

[heylightiforgot]

have you not researched the drug interaction? Quite easy to do

Sorry. I'm just so mentally scatterbrained right now

 

[Stan]

Drug Interaction Checker ← Quickly Check Your Meds

Use our drug interaction checker to quickly identify multi-drug interactions, including with alcohol, food, supplements, and diseases.

www.drugs.com

 

[Soul]

I'm sorry you're suffering so much. I have loads of stomach trouble too and have considered trying SN in an enema for that reason. It would be experimental, though.

 

[trynacbt]

Drug Interaction Checker ← Quickly Check Your Meds

Use our drug interaction checker to quickly identify multi-drug interactions, including with alcohol, food, supplements, and diseases.

www.drugs.com

This is super handy--thank you!
@heylightiforgot I wish you the best and am around to chat. Does this mean you might not do the full 48h regimen?

 

[heylightiforgot]

I'm sorry you're suffering so much. I have loads of stomach trouble too and have considered trying SN in an enema for that reason. It would be experimental, though.

I think @gingerplum said that won't work; the bowels would expel it before enough is absorbed.

 

[heylightiforgot]

I will say this though. Fasting is not an absolute must for SN to work. Fasting makes it work quicker. It's not what you throw up that counts, its what you keep down. People have reported throwing up and still passed.

So if I can only fast 4/5 hours will not that necessarily thwart the attempt?

Also since I'm chronically constipated would something like a quick enema beforehand be useful?

 

[Soul]

I think @gingerplum said that won't work; the bowels would expel it before enough is absorbed.

I found the good @gingerplum's post on the subject and you're right:

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/fail-on-sn.9563/post-168479

 

[Stan]

So if I can only fast 4/5 hours will not that necessarily thwart the attempt?

Also since I'm chronically constipated would something like a quick enema beforehand be useful?

point 1, No - it won't stop the SN from working
point 2. No - it won't stop the SN from working

 

[heylightiforgot]

point 1, No - it won't stop the SN from working
point 2. No - it won't stop the SN from working

Maybe a dumb question but does that mean taking it WITH food might reduce chances of vomiting since it's not hitting an empty stomach?

 

[Stan]

Maybe a dumb question but does that mean taking it WITH food might reduce chances of vomiting since it's not hitting an empty stomach?

Can't answer that, you are in the best position to though.

 

[neilo99]

Stan has answered quite a few of your questions on the day you plan to do this. Would it not be worth holding off and try and research a bit more?

 

[heylightiforgot]

Stan has answered quite a few of your questions on the day you plan to do this. Would it not be worth holding off and try and research a bit more?

I wish I could but I'm backed into a corner :( I think I know everything I need to. It's more just trusting it works.

 

[neilo99]

I wish I could but I'm backed into a corner :( I think I know everything I need to. It's more just trusting it works.

No one can tell you if it will work but good luck in whatever you do

 

[gingerplum]

I found the good @gingerplum's post on the subject and you're right:

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/fail-on-sn.9563/post-168479

Hey thanks, yo.

I don't want to rule out an enema completely; what I want people to be aware of is that it's probably harder to hold in than you think.

Maybe. Maybe not. Certainly no downside in seeing if you can hold in 30 mL warm water or whatever volume you're planning on using. You don't need a whole bag & tubing setup; just a disposable Fleets enema.

 

[Soul]

Hey thanks, yo.

I don't want to rule out an enema completely; what I want people to be aware of is that it's probably harder to hold in than you think.

Maybe. Maybe not. Certainly no downside in seeing if you can hold in 30 mL warm water or whatever volume you're planning on using. You don't need a whole bag & tubing setup; just a disposable Fleets enema.

Thank you kindly, @gingerplum - your learned insights are always welcome. Do you think an SN enema might cause painful irritation? No one would want that ... well, not a lot of people, anyway.

As for holding it in, do buttplugs help with that? (I have no knowledge of buttplugs other than what can be inferred from the term.)