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A

Area Man

Student
Mar 31, 2021
124
Pretty much what the title says.

I'm not doing well out of this society I currently wallow around in. I'm a mostly bedroom bound autist who most of my family hates and the neighbours and local kids laugh at. It's a passion of having my self-esteem eviscerated every day. There's too many people about. I need somewhere quieter and less mental to be quite honest.

I know that attuning to a new life as a hermit, possibly somewhere in the sticks will be a huge shock to my system and I have been a rather idle, coddle baby for much of my 20s. Regardless I cannot stay like that if I want to survive and not be a despised manchild and sleazy loser. That's a waste of time. Either I off myself or I go somewhere else where the rules of life are different and I can live a life more like that natural to healthy human beings. I'd be willing to acquire survival and crafting skills if that's what it takes and want advice from folks here who know a little about making this plan possible.

I'm miserable enough here to try and take a huge risk at whatever crazy schemes people have come up with for a quiet life away from most other humans. Maybe not entirely out on the frontier just yet though? Things like internet or delivery services want to be attainable. I'm currently living in the UK for point of reference so assume a temperate European environment for my possible new hovel.

Accepting advice!
 
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B

BRuss

Member
Feb 1, 2022
40
You could better do this in a major cjty: take a job as a live-in superintendent at an apartment building. There's more anonymity in urban centers than in rural areas that are still livabr, which almost always means having a town somewhere nearby. Try London or Liverpool.
 
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Interloper

Interloper

Jul 23, 2021
689
or I go somewhere else where the rules of life are different and I can live a life more like that natural to healthy human beings.
Elaborate a bit more, what fits this criteria for you?
 
GentleJerk

GentleJerk

Carrot juice pimp.
Dec 14, 2021
1,372
I think the desire to get away from the hustle and bustle, and live a simpler more quiet life is very reasonable and sounds nice. You could start by finding some time in your day to do a bit of simple gardening, or even buying some flour and making your own bread. Spending some more of your time doing these sort of rustic tasks would help get you into the mindset, or possibly even satisfy that urge you are having to get in touch with something more wholesome and independent. These are baby steps toward a completely off the grid hermit lifestyle that may be quite difficult to actually pull off, especially without much experience and preparation. Best wishes!
 
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Foresight

Foresight

Enlightened
Jun 14, 2019
1,393
I say go for it if you can. At the very least do it for awhile before ctb. You deserve some peace in your time. I have a partner so I'm cheating, but I've been a shut-in for years. Because I live on the outskirts of life my interests are strange and I don't connect much anymore anyway. I don't have the daily barrage of judgment. I feel more imprisoned out there than in my own little world. I get lonely for sure. By myself I'm sure it would feel different, but it's better than constantly feeling like you're in a war zone defending your own existence from people's hatred. You need some peace and quiet. A good dog is always a great companion too. It doesn't need to be permanent but someone cannot grow to love themselves and accept themselves in the midst of that kind of battle.
You could better do this in a major cjty: take a job as a live-in superintendent at an apartment building. There's more anonymity in urban centers than in rural areas that are still livabr, which almost always means having a town somewhere nearby. Try London or Liverpool.
I actually agree with this. When I was in a city I was invisible. When I moved to a town I was noticed. I do prefer a place with more land and distance, but here in the US that takes a lot of money. A big city is a place to hide in the crowd.
 
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M

Myl

Anhedonia.
Jan 23, 2019
3,219
I've thought about it but getting off the grid really just isn't practical in the modern times and tbh I'd rather just kill myself.
It's idolized so much yet it seems just as boring as normal life in society except now you are entirely alone with nothing to do I don't get the appeal it seems just as meaningless as living in society.

As I am right now with not going outside or speaking to people for months and spending 23-24 hours every day in my room I'm probably about as close as I'm ever going to get to it, not really out of choice and I hate it but it's just how things are for me.
 
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S

SuicidallyCurious

Enlightened
Dec 20, 2020
1,715
Did it, boring. Tranquil for awhile and I had the right locale but it got old

What I did find interesting was a job where I had no regular co workers or regular customers and could work as much as I wanted . In other words no need for petty office drama that builds over years , just me the job the time and the money.

When I found that I wanted to work constantly

As other posters have said sometimes living in the city makes you invisible even more which is awesome
 
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AreWeWinning

AreWeWinning

Experienced
Nov 1, 2021
225
Haven't actually tried this, but crossed my mind. I would prefer city too. In a big city you can pretty much disappear. Like in a multi-tenant building. It's not even expensive if you have a small apartment. One rule though: Don't talk to the neighbours! If you do, even just a few words every once in a while, there will be a connection over time, which is difficult to undo. On the other hand, if you don't even say "hi", you'll be just considered weird, and they'll keep their distance.

I haven't tried this on purpose, but there have been times when I didn't talk to anybody for longer periods of time. What I have noticed is that even tough I would much rather avoid it, I still require social interaction. Going long periods without human contact doesn't feel good beyond a certain point. It's like an itch, or an addiction. You can't do anything about it. It'll get boring, uncomfortable, and it'll get on your nerves, and the feeling won't disappear until you do something about it.

But that's just me, maybe some people are wired differently. Maybe I'm even wired differently, I just don't know it. It's not unheard of that people do it the way you described after all. Maybe if you have animals, or live close to nature, it's a different feeling. Maybe the problem with doing it in the city is that seeing people around is distracting. Maybe it's easier to do somewhere where there are no people at all.
 
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T

TerminalConscience

Member
Feb 1, 2022
45
I know I wouldn't be able to do it. I don't think I'd be able to cope with the increased isolation. It honestly feels painful when I try to imagine doing that. I mean I'm always alone now but I physically see other people and have access to the internet.

Maybe I could like it after the shock of it all subsided.
 
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whatevs

whatevs

Mining for copium in the weirdest places.
Jan 15, 2022
2,913
How is your health? Do you have any contacts with "alternative" people? Do you have money?
 
meetapple

meetapple

Mage
Jun 3, 2021
585
I have thought about moving to Mongolia but I don't know how feasible that is.
 
L

Looooser

My 2 cents
Feb 3, 2022
212
There are a lot of people here in US that are buying vans or campers and just traveling, camping, basically living a nomadic lifestyle.
I did just watch the movie Castaway and wondered if I was in that situation how I would handle it. Would my depression get worse and go completely crazy or would I thrive having nothing to do but to build a shelter and find food to eat? I imagine I'd eventually just go crazy
 
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Manaaja

Manaaja

euROPE
Sep 10, 2018
1,474
I wish I could do it. Living in a jungle or on a mountain or on an island far away from everything.

Though I'd probably need magic to survive to help clothes stay clean, and to help myself stay clean, and to get food and drink and electricity and water.
 
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J

JustSwingingTheD

Experienced
Jan 31, 2022
204
Pretty much what the title says.

I'm not doing well out of this society I currently wallow around in. I'm a mostly bedroom bound autist who most of my family hates and the neighbours and local kids laugh at. It's a passion of having my self-esteem eviscerated every day. There's too many people about. I need somewhere quieter and less mental to be quite honest.

I know that attuning to a new life as a hermit, possibly somewhere in the sticks will be a huge shock to my system and I have been a rather idle, coddle baby for much of my 20s. Regardless I cannot stay like that if I want to survive and not be a despised manchild and sleazy loser. That's a waste of time. Either I off myself or I go somewhere else where the rules of life are different and I can live a life more like that natural to healthy human beings. I'd be willing to acquire survival and crafting skills if that's what it takes and want advice from folks here who know a little about making this plan possible.

I'm miserable enough here to try and take a huge risk at whatever crazy schemes people have come up with for a quiet life away from most other humans. Maybe not entirely out on the frontier just yet though? Things like internet or delivery services want to be attainable. I'm currently living in the UK for point of reference so assume a temperate European environment for my possible new hovel.

Accepting advice!
There's really no getting away from people. Well, in theory there is, but it takes a tremendous amount of work to learn that amount of survival skills and i suspect that if you can't find and keep a job then you won't be able to do this.

If on the other hand, there are some jobs you could learn to handle, then you could learn to hide among the people. You just need to find a suitable environment. A solitary job, maybe a guard or a nightnurse or something similar.

If you are not popular or attractive people hardly see you as long as you are not doing anything wrong. When you are showing weakness they will group up on you like the sadistic little fucks they are.
 
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D

downndone2

Living in misery
Jan 23, 2022
1,270
I'm in the city and a complete shut in since late 2019 after I literally ruined my life. I work from home and get everything delivered usually. If i leave it is at night and I usually just do curbside or hit a drive-thru. I really want to break out of this funk. But it is possible to be a hermit and stay in the city.
 
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LONE WOLF.

LONE WOLF.

PUNISHER.
Nov 4, 2020
1,990
I would love to go and live a nomadic lifestyle,l have survival skills,can build a enclosed shelter, make fire,set trap's, hunt,find clean water, the biggest issue is location as almost every area of land in the UK is either privately owned or national trust or farm land!
 
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Sanva

Sanva

:/
Dec 10, 2021
261
I've thought about this, too. i'll probably end up moving to a big city and hopefully getting some job i can do from home. I could never completely live apart from society because I'm so dependent on the internet etc., but realistically I want to have as little interaction with people irl as possible. Sometimes I feel like I don't even want to speak to my family again. it won't be a good life but it will be bearable i suppose.
 
HAPPY(not)

HAPPY(not)

New Member
Feb 6, 2022
4
I feel as though today's modern society has such a mindless grip on the majority of people in it.
From the earliest time you become a member of modern society you're brainwashed to accept the mindset of the most powerful people involved.

We accept being the only animal that has to pay to live on earth and that alone takes a toll on me and my day to day psychological well being.
I wish daily for a way to avoid that being an ever present negative thought in my mind.
Despite what we do for ego, money, gain power or to be happy, the fact is that in our lives, we as humans are all simply passing the time away while being forced to exist within the walls of societies invented perimeters set by the most powerful stake holders.
Long ago in our earliest stages of human development we gave up on the opportunity of a natural more organic existence in life.
I think that's what those who long for a more solitary existence really want. I know I did.
But now I see the truth of society and it being out of anyone persons control.
Money and profits is all that is paramount to the controlling majority on earth. Both money and profits are invented aspects of our reality as humans and have very little if anything in common with nature's original manifestation.
Two planets would be ideal.
One for those who adhere to the invented and are blind to its exploitation and another that persists to remain organic in its existence.
One will die out over vast amounts of time
(as is seemingly our current path) and the other would thrive.
The powerful majority already has plans to explore exoplanets in hopes of continuing their destruction of anything organic in hopes of more profits. That cycle will rinse and be repeated if the planet doesn't die off prior to reaching those invented goals
 
Fadeawaaaay

Fadeawaaaay

Visionary
Nov 12, 2021
2,160
Living in some bucolic natural setting would be nice. I have no outdoor skills and have no motivation. So I'm apartment bound for now and evermore.
 
A

Area Man

Student
Mar 31, 2021
124
I would love to go and live a nomadic lifestyle,l have survival skills,can build a enclosed shelter, make fire,set trap's, hunt,find clean water, the biggest issue is location as almost every area of land in the UK is either privately owned or national trust or farm land!

We have to pluck up some courage and strike out abroad wherever we can live without interference. Problem is here in British high powered society I'm marked as a pariah now and the damage is pretty much irreparable for me so I want out of this.

I know that there are some places where free land exists in the UK which could be claimed if you make sure you know the land's unclaimed status first, fence it and then put it to some definable use like harvesting produce, bee farming or creating a modest residence (which you have the right to live in). You'll have to use it for a continuous period of 5 years, having catalogued your presence there regularly, to get your claim legally recognised.
 
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F

FogFilledLife

Student
Jan 6, 2022
164
Pretty much what the title says.

I'm not doing well out of this society I currently wallow around in. I'm a mostly bedroom bound autist who most of my family hates and the neighbours and local kids laugh at. It's a passion of having my self-esteem eviscerated every day. There's too many people about. I need somewhere quieter and less mental to be quite honest.

I know that attuning to a new life as a hermit, possibly somewhere in the sticks will be a huge shock to my system and I have been a rather idle, coddle baby for much of my 20s. Regardless I cannot stay like that if I want to survive and not be a despised manchild and sleazy loser. That's a waste of time. Either I off myself or I go somewhere else where the rules of life are different and I can live a life more like that natural to healthy human beings. I'd be willing to acquire survival and crafting skills if that's what it takes and want advice from folks here who know a little about making this plan possible.

I'm miserable enough here to try and take a huge risk at whatever crazy schemes people have come up with for a quiet life away from most other humans. Maybe not entirely out on the frontier just yet though? Things like internet or delivery services want to be attainable. I'm currently living in the UK for point of reference so assume a temperate European environment for my possible new hovel.

Accepting advice!
I don't want to live in a home with food, let alone outside with no food.
 
A

Area Man

Student
Mar 31, 2021
124
Acquiring free land, though possible, seems like a pain in a the arse tbh. Something that brings a lower cost of living like a mobile home or a houseboat would be another option within the UK I think. The UK is ultimately expensive though. I'd only consider staying for the sake of less culture shock and to be near what is left of my functional social life. Not much but it's here.
 
its-about-time

its-about-time

nope
Mar 19, 2022
807
I live in a trailer on a small farm right outside town and it's very very nice. Not totally solitary but a step in the right direction for me.

I've been researching property to buy these last few months. I can't quite afford what I want but might be able to in a few years. I can afford about 20 acres of wooded land now, but wouldn't be able to afford putting utilities on it (digging a well and getting power to the property costs about as much as the property itself). The area I'm looking at is about 20 minutes from a small town, and 2 hours away from my hometown which is much larger. I'd just live in my trailer, though septic would be an issue to contend with. Might have to install a composting toilet which is quite expensive and requires a lot of work to maintain.

It's a nice idea in theory and I'm still into it, but I randomly go through very social phases like I am in now, they don't last more than a couple weeks but I think I'd be miserable during those times. I also LOVE the woods but seem to get quite paranoid when I live in empty wooded areas so I'm hesitant about the idea. Not rushing to make a decision though.
 
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M

myopybyproxy

flickerbeat \\ gibberish-noise
Dec 18, 2021
864
I live in a trailer on a small farm right outside town and it's very very nice. Not totally solitary but a step in the right direction for me.

I've been researching property to buy these last few months. I can't quite afford what I want but might be able to in a few years. I can afford about 20 acres of wooded land now, but wouldn't be able to afford putting utilities on it (digging a well and getting power to the property costs about as much as the property itself). The area I'm looking at is about 20 minutes from a small town, and 2 hours away from my hometown which is much larger. I'd just live in my trailer, though septic would be an issue to contend with. Might have to install a composting toilet which is quite expensive and requires a lot of work to maintain.

It's a nice idea in theory and I'm still into it, but I randomly go through very social phases like I am in now, they don't last more than a couple weeks but I think I'd be miserable during those times. I also LOVE the woods but seem to get quite paranoid when I live in empty wooded areas so I'm hesitant about the idea. Not rushing to make a decision though.
composting toilets can be built for 10$ USD - look into compost toilet handbook by joseph jenkins, it has colour pictures and easy to follow instructions

the materials (container, box to go around the container or wood planks to construct such a box, hinges if you desire a fancy lid, chicken wire or pallets for the compost, and carbon-source to absorb liquid and eliminate odour such as straw, rice hulls, sugarcane husks, dry leaves and grasses), can be scavenged, and necessary equipment can be borrowed or stolen if you can't afford a drill and screws
 
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its-about-time

its-about-time

nope
Mar 19, 2022
807
composting toilets can be built for 10$ USD - look into compost toilet handbook by joseph jenkins, it has colour pictures and easy to follow instructions

the materials (container, box to go around the container or wood planks to construct such a box, hinges if you desire a fancy lid, chicken wire or pallets for the compost, and carbon-source to absorb liquid and eliminate odour such as straw, rice hulls, sugarcane husks, dry leaves and grasses), can be scavenged, and necessary equipment can be borrowed or stolen if you can't afford a drill and screws
Yeah, building one wouldn't be too bad. I'm talking about putting one in my camping trailer that I live in though. It requires a whole different strategy than building one outside or in a building. But they do exist they're just pricey.
 
M

myopybyproxy

flickerbeat \\ gibberish-noise
Dec 18, 2021
864
Yeah, building one wouldn't be too bad. I'm talking about putting one in my camping trailer that I live in though. It requires a whole different strategy than building one outside or in a building. But they do exist they're just pricey.
the sort you build yourself is portable, you can put it in a trailer
 
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M

myopybyproxy

flickerbeat \\ gibberish-noise
Dec 18, 2021
864
Ok I'll look into it
I hope I don't come across too pushy, I only mean to encourage. Feel free to DM with questions (although I'm by no means an expert, just a sometime human) or updates - or update here if you wish to share - even if simply to tell me to fuck off
 

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