YeesMcHaw
New Member
- Oct 7, 2023
- 3
Despite giving my partner a whole host of reasons as to why I should CTB - as well as expressing my apathy towards general existence - he keeps making excuses for me and convincing me to stick around for a little longer, at least until I get a psychiatrist to treat my bipolar. I cannot afford to see one, mentally and financially. Not only would I have to admit suicidal ideation to my GP (who admitted that doing such would get me involuntarily admitted to a hospital), but there is no saying it would ACTUALLY work.
I don't see a future for myself, my incompetence only increases as I allow myself to rot away in my room. My partner is the only thing I love, and still I have no reason to live.
For the record, we have been LD for 3 years. A psych would drain my pockets, preventing me from moving overseas. Additionally, moving overseas would be silly as I'm still barely any good at the language and have almost no independent living skills (thanks to the negligence of my family). Is it immoral for me to be so open about my feelings to my partner? I really want to, but I do not want to hurt him. I have considered breaking up with him/ghosting him to distance him from the effects, but as he has mentioned, it's not like you can just forget a 3 year relationship.
I have nothing else going for me. What do I do? :(
I don't see a future for myself, my incompetence only increases as I allow myself to rot away in my room. My partner is the only thing I love, and still I have no reason to live.
For the record, we have been LD for 3 years. A psych would drain my pockets, preventing me from moving overseas. Additionally, moving overseas would be silly as I'm still barely any good at the language and have almost no independent living skills (thanks to the negligence of my family). Is it immoral for me to be so open about my feelings to my partner? I really want to, but I do not want to hurt him. I have considered breaking up with him/ghosting him to distance him from the effects, but as he has mentioned, it's not like you can just forget a 3 year relationship.
I have nothing else going for me. What do I do? :(
