Help Concern for living family

[major_tom]

Does anyone else feel guilty about how this will affect family members to the point that it's stopping you from really going for it?

Is it narcissistic? Is it an excuse?

Do people have more ability to recover from a surprising loss than it seems?

I'm trying to get over this, my one and only hurdle.

 

[Naked Weapon]

It's helpful to think of the situation as a scale with your pain on one side and other people's pain on the other. Yes, both sides may be heavy, but does one outweigh the other?

(Also, I adore your username)

 

[major_tom]

It's helpful to think of the situation as a scale with your pain on one side and other people's pain on the other. Yes, both sides may be heavy, but does one outweigh the other?

(Also, I adore your username)

Thank you for your response.

I think you're right, but it's rather amusing I might have to "work on myself" so I have enough self esteem to suicide :D

With the items on hand I'll probably just do it on a whim soon anyway.

This time with the help of this site and the right tools I won't mess it up again.

 

[UKscotty]

I don't think it's an excuse at all, I think its very considerate.

Its very difficult to weigh up our pain vs what pain will be caused to others.

It has to be a personal choice but I believe once the depression is so bad, and recovery has failed, what else can we do?

 

[Cain.Wong]

I almost certain that if I CTB'ed, my mum will kill herself.

This was exactly the reason I called ambulance after my attempt last April.

 

[Ash’Girl]

I worry about my mum. She's had a lot of suffering in this life, and it will cause her more pain, and she doesn't deserve it. So I swither: do I wait til she dies first?

I expect everyone else would, after a brief period of adjustment, carry on just fine.

I don't buy into the "suicide is selfish" rhetoric because suicidal people are suffering - and that rhetoric is based on "stay alive despite your suffering so nobody else has to suffer your death". But still, I guess it's human nature to worry about how those we care about will feel if we manage to ctb.

In reality people die every day and millions of people right now are grieving someone. Grief is painful, but in the most part, people work through it and move forward. Some don't. Bit like any other trauma, mental health issue etc.

 

[DarkThoughts]

The idea that nothing matters after you're dead is the main reason I feel I can CTB. You'll be in eternal nothingness, with no awareness of any damage caused. Some may disagree, but I find this quite comforting.

 

[TiredOfAllThis]

As for my family - my only concern is my sister, but she will inherit quite some stuff from me.
Parents are dead, I don't have contacts with the others.

 

[hopeless08]

I almost certain that if I CTB'ed, my mum will kill herself.

This was exactly the reason I called ambulance after my attempt last

The idea that nothing matters after you're dead is the main reason I feel I can CTB. You'll be in eternal nothingness, with no awareness of any damage caused. Some may disagree, but I find this quite comforting.

I agree with you in some sort that after you die you will not be aware of how much your loved ones are suffering but what about before you ctb, in my case that consumes my every thought and am torturing myself thinking about the torture my loved ones will be in and am scared that's going to hold me back but I don't want to be held back I need to end my agony.

 

[Ambivalent1]

I care at times and it makes me feel really bad. I hate that I alternate between really callous and very vulnerable.

 

[strangelife]

I understand that my departure will greatly affect many things, especially my son, and this is the only thing that keeps me going, but it is very difficult to live with my illness and the meaning of life has been lost, and for my loved ones I am no longer that cheerful person

 

[major_tom]

I understand that my departure will greatly affect many things, especially my son, and this is the only thing that keeps me going, but it is very difficult to live with my illness and the meaning of life has been lost, and for my loved ones I am no longer that cheerful person

Yes this is one factor I consider, is my abysmal presence more damaging than my death would be?

The idea that nothing matters after you're dead is the main reason I feel I can CTB. You'll be in eternal nothingness, with no awareness of any damage caused. Some may disagree, but I find this quite comforting.

This is why I want to have effective tools on hand. When the "stars align" and I'm able to get into this headspace I feel great and I just go for it. The body clings to life with a shocking tenacity, though.