Help Completely alone

[hopeless08]

I feel more alone than ever. It hurts to see everyone so happy and enjoying their lives. I don't want to sound selfish but I hate it. I wish I could take fentanyl overdose today. Please help
I'm in severe pain. I don't know how to access it from dn
and don't know where to go in New York to find dealer. I'm sorry but you guys are all I have right now. I wish my family could understand the pain I'm in a let me go in peace. My siblings know how to get on dn, not like my idiot self, but obviously they would never help me… please help
I don't know what to do.
Fucking holidays are torture. It's not a fucking "merry Christmas " for all of us. I'm sure most of you feel worse today as well and I empathize 100%.
I don't want to feel so alone.

 

[Catch-22]

I feel more alone than ever. It hurts to see everyone so happy and enjoying their lives. I don't want to sound selfish but I hate it. I wish I could take fentanyl overdose today. Please help
I'm in severe pain. I don't know how to access it from dn
and don't know where to go in New York to find dealer. I'm sorry but you guys are all I have right now. I wish my family could understand the pain I'm in a let me go in peace. My siblings know how to get on dn, not like my idiot self, but obviously they would never help me… please help
I don't know what to do.
Fucking holidays are torture. It's not a fucking "merry Christmas " for all of us. I'm sure most of you feel worse today as well and I empathize 100%.
I don't want to feel so alone.

I feel the same way as you.. the fucking holidays are a nightmare actually everyday is. I'm lonely too I have a chronic illness and I've been trapped in the house I haven't been able to leave for 23 years. No one to talk to.. my mother is here but she is old and does not want to talk to me. I know she hates me because I'm sick.

 

[FuneralCry]

I hope that you eventually find freedom from your suffering, it's cruel how people have to suffer so much in this existence with no straightforward way to just die in peace. It's horrible how suicide is purposely made so inaccessible for people.

 

[hopeless08]

I feel the same way as you.. the fucking holidays are a nightmare actually everyday is. I'm lonely too I have a chronic illness and I've been trapped in the house I haven't been able to leave for 23 years. No one to talk to.. my mother is here but she is old and does not want to talk to me. I know she hates me because I'm sick.

I'm so sorry I can't imagine what that must be like. You seem like a good person and unfortunately it's the good ones that suffer the most. It's a cruel world.

I hope that you eventually find freedom from your suffering, it's cruel how people have to suffer so much in this existence with no straightforward way to just die in peace. It's horrible how suicide is purposely made so inaccessible for people.

I guess the universe wants us to keep suffering

 

[Jolene79]

I feel the same way as you.. the fucking holidays are a nightmare actually everyday is. I'm lonely too I have a chronic illness and I've been trapped in the house I haven't been able to leave for 23 years. No one to talk to.. my mother is here but she is old and does not want to talk to me. I know she hates me because I'm sick.

Do you mind sharing your illness. I'm becoming less able to leave the house at all. It is so soul destroying to every part of you being sick non stop and in pain and having no ability to even function. I think people get sick of it if you don't get better

 

[AllAlone]

I'm also alone, although I do have family. But having to see them still fills me with anxiety. I am dreading having to see my family for the holidays. I am so depressed and alone and I feel out of place with my family like they don't want me there. Ironically, being around people makes me feel even more alone than when I literally am alone.

 

[hopeless08]

Exactly we feel more alone because they are in such a different state of Mind and do not understand us at all and I guess being around people you feel like you have to put on a mask. Also no one wants to be around depressed people. So it feels extremely lonely. I completely understand how you're feeling.

 

[Unattainable666]

I feel more alone than ever. It hurts to see everyone so happy and enjoying their lives. I don't want to sound selfish but I hate it. I wish I could take fentanyl overdose today. Please help
I'm in severe pain. I don't know how to access it from dn
and don't know where to go in New York to find dealer. I'm sorry but you guys are all I have right now. I wish my family could understand the pain I'm in a let me go in peace. My siblings know how to get on dn, not like my idiot self, but obviously they would never help me… please help
I don't know what to do.
Fucking holidays are torture. It's not a fucking "merry Christmas " for all of us. I'm sure most of you feel worse today as well and I empathize 100%.
I don't want to feel so alone.

I understand exactly how you feel. It is torture - nothing but dumb ass fake movies on about "finding love at Christmas" and other shit. You are not alone believe me. If you want to talk I'm here

 

[alwayssearching202]

Today is the worst day of the year. I do have some friends that have sent nice "Merry Christmas" texts but it just seems to pour salt on the lonely wound. I did put up a Christmas tree and surrounded it with empty gift bags. I've spent the morning alone with my faux presents. It is torture.

I understand how you are feeling. I am planning to CTB this year. I just want it to be planned and not based on one day.

If you do truly desire to go the Fentanyl route, I've heard from family that live in NYC that Union Square/what is that park with the mini version of Arc de Triumph (?) are suitable for finding drugs. I don't have any personal experience purchasing anything illegal but maybe this helps.

 

[hopeless08]

Today is the worst day of the year. I do have some friends that have sent nice "Merry Christmas" texts but it just seems to pour salt on the lonely wound. I did put up a Christmas tree and surrounded it with empty gift bags. I've spent the morning alone with my faux presents. It is torture.

I understand how you are feeling. I am planning to CTB this year. I just want it to be planned and not based on one day.

If you do truly desire to go the Fentanyl route, I've heard from family that live in NYC that Union Square/what is that park with the mini version of Arc de Triumph (?) are suitable for finding drugs. I don't have any personal experience purchasing anything illegal but maybe this helps.

Thank you so much for the info. I really need it. I guess I can buy those test strips to see if they are pure.Don't really know how much to take to be sure it does the job.
This is the worst days of the year for all of us suffering in this miserable life.
At least I'm grateful we have each other on this site cause the outside world have no idea what we deal with day in and day out..

I understand exactly how you feel. It is torture - nothing but dumb ass fake movies on about "finding love at Christmas" and other shit. You are not alone believe me. If you want to talk I'm here

Yeah I sound like a mean person saying this and I swear I'm not. My heart is too sensitive and that's why I hurt but everything angers me. Seeing happiness in people makes me mad because it is something that is unattainable for us.
It's so fucking unfair. I'm hear if you want to talk as well,have absolutely nothing to do.

 

[alwayssearching202]

Thank you so much for the info. I really need it. I guess I can buy those test strips to see if they are pure.Don't really know how much to take to be sure it does the job.
This is the worst days of the year for all of us suffering in this miserable life.
At least I'm grateful we have each other on this site cause the outside world have no idea what we deal with day in and day out..

I'm not sure how much it takes either. I've researched just about every method except this one. This is an amazing community. It is ironic it is the first time I've felt true community and it is a group to discuss dying. I'm around all day if you want to message or chat. My preferred method to make the day go quickly is a whole lot of alcohol. Message me if you'd like to chat.

 

[hopeless08]

Yeah I'm so grateful for this community.
I think from what I hear that fentanyl is a painless, peaceful way to go.
Well I have nothing to do all day either so whenever you feel like chatting message me