Deadweight
It's spilling out of me
- Nov 10, 2021
- 74
I find that I am always in competition for my basic needs to be met. As a vulnerable person, I need a little extra attention and a little extra resources and help to have a life worth living.
Yet, no matter where I seem to end up, I find myself in competition to have these basic needs met. What's worse is that the people I find myself on competition with, the people strangling, are people who I am supposed to be able to trust. That's what hurts the most. What hurts more is that they're people who do not require these extra considerations to live a life worth living. It's greed and envy that compells their behaviour.
I am constantly in a state of partial digestion. I am spat up and devoured over and over. I go no where. I am going nowhere. I am devoured over and over. Nobody can reach me. They catch glimpses of me as I'm tossed from one maw to the other, but none can reach me down here, in yet another belly. In yet another beast.
I lay here and wait to die until I am, yet again, spat up and likely swallowed whole once more.
Yet, no matter where I seem to end up, I find myself in competition to have these basic needs met. What's worse is that the people I find myself on competition with, the people strangling, are people who I am supposed to be able to trust. That's what hurts the most. What hurts more is that they're people who do not require these extra considerations to live a life worth living. It's greed and envy that compells their behaviour.
I am constantly in a state of partial digestion. I am spat up and devoured over and over. I go no where. I am going nowhere. I am devoured over and over. Nobody can reach me. They catch glimpses of me as I'm tossed from one maw to the other, but none can reach me down here, in yet another belly. In yet another beast.
I lay here and wait to die until I am, yet again, spat up and likely swallowed whole once more.