Don't know if anyone else feels like this.
Like sometimes I'm stuck as if trying to communicate in a foreign language, but am having a conversation in my only fluent/native language, English.
I currently have a summer job in the tourism industry and had a bit of a realisation while overhearing a french couple discussing/translating (in French) the information I had given them (in English). I could understand what they were discussing between them (I also had the benefit of context of what I had said to them). I could nod and agree and imagine in English what else I might add or discuss. But I do not have the vocab or confidence in French to actually continue or add to the conversation, just look weird like a nodding dog, understanding and agreeing but not saying anything else. Don't even have confidence in the ability to confirm I agree or not - or even explain 'I don't know the answer to that question in english let alone in french' - just stuck with sort of 'clear' thoughts in my mind, just no way to 'say' them out loud. But that's how I feel when having 'deeper' conversations in English. Kinda embarrassing/inappropriate when totally in my only fluent/native language.
This isn't all the time, but whenever there is any topic of conversation that's not familiar with me/autopilot answers - e.g freezing when asked something more 'personal' or increasingly in therapy sessions if I have a bit of an odd reaction/almost go into a trance also frozen.
Maybe its why I have historically done a lot of (solo) travelling - no pressure to have 'meaningful' conversations - can be successful keeping things 'simple' and 'practical' with basic foreign phrases and body language and not really getting to know anyone properly.
Like sometimes I'm stuck as if trying to communicate in a foreign language, but am having a conversation in my only fluent/native language, English.
I currently have a summer job in the tourism industry and had a bit of a realisation while overhearing a french couple discussing/translating (in French) the information I had given them (in English). I could understand what they were discussing between them (I also had the benefit of context of what I had said to them). I could nod and agree and imagine in English what else I might add or discuss. But I do not have the vocab or confidence in French to actually continue or add to the conversation, just look weird like a nodding dog, understanding and agreeing but not saying anything else. Don't even have confidence in the ability to confirm I agree or not - or even explain 'I don't know the answer to that question in english let alone in french' - just stuck with sort of 'clear' thoughts in my mind, just no way to 'say' them out loud. But that's how I feel when having 'deeper' conversations in English. Kinda embarrassing/inappropriate when totally in my only fluent/native language.
This isn't all the time, but whenever there is any topic of conversation that's not familiar with me/autopilot answers - e.g freezing when asked something more 'personal' or increasingly in therapy sessions if I have a bit of an odd reaction/almost go into a trance also frozen.
Maybe its why I have historically done a lot of (solo) travelling - no pressure to have 'meaningful' conversations - can be successful keeping things 'simple' and 'practical' with basic foreign phrases and body language and not really getting to know anyone properly.
