Committing suicide is such a pain in the ass

[MAIO]

you have to overpower the strongest instinct, go against societal values etc. so much easier just to live, fantasing about killing your self instead. I am done with all that, I have a solid date planned, with multiple lethal methods. I have to take care of these obligations 1st.

 

[Retched]

I hear ya....so not cool. You have multiple methods? Care to share?

 

[onewayroad]

you have to overpower the strongest instinct, go against societal values etc. so much easier just to live, fantasing about killing your self instead. I am done with all that, I have a solid date planned, with multiple lethal methods. I have to take care of these obligations 1st.

I hear ya....so not cool. You have multiple methods? Care to share?

Yeah I'm also interested in your methods. I was thinking about multiple methods too but the only thing that works with my death mask idea is N or SN. And I can't afford N and antiemetics get stopped by Australian customs.

 

[Lifeisatrap]

I know, and surprisely expensive too. If you're trying to make it as peaceful and foolproof as possible that is.

 

[scissors]

Yes I'm considering multiple methods as well. Still looking into the best combination of methods. Also alot of advice recommends it as well; inert gas +plastic bag, overdose + plastic bag, partial suspension +additional artery compression just to be on the safe side. But also have having several methods on hand in case I fail at one I might not be up for re trying that method ( I overdosed once, it was grim and I won't be trying it again).

 

[TheLastTrip]

I agree it is a total pain in the ass! I look at what I have been through just to get some silly bottles of N and wonder if a lack of pain at the end was worth all the pain of getting it (Monday hopefully, need to work up the courage and they'll be closed tomorrow). Tbh I could have just hung myself from a tree back home and been done with this months ago!

 

[worldexploder]

I wish you the best of luck.

Social "values" can kiss my ass. As far as catching the bus goes you're right - it's extremely difficult. If I had Nembutal, Nitrogen, or a reliable firearm I'd be gone tonight without hesitation. Unfortunately since I have a payee due to being on SSI, I can't obtain these items. Could have bought a firearm if my "friend" didn't rat me out.

For right now I'm fucked in the CTB department. Gotta find another way out because all the methods currently available scare the hell out of me.

 

[MAIO]

I wish you the best of luck.

Social "values" can kiss my ass. As far as catching the bus goes you're right - it's extremely difficult. If I had Nembutal, Nitrogen, or a reliable firearm I'd be gone tonight without hesitation. Unfortunately since I have a payee due to being on SSI, I can't obtain these items. Could have bought a firearm if my "friend" didn't rat me out.

For right now I'm fucked in the CTB department. Gotta find another way out because all the methods currently available scare the hell out of me.

Fuck societal values. They don't respect my decision to the point they think they should be able to lock me up to prevent it, with the sole justification being feelings. You could go cheap with sodium Aizide(irreversible) or Nitrite, hanging, going deep into high mountain or jumping of cliff. None of those sounds exactly please t though.

 

[Jai]

you have to overpower the strongest instinct, go against societal values etc. so much easier just to live, fantasing about killing your self instead. I am done with all that, I have a solid date planned, with multiple lethal methods. I have to take care of these obligations 1st.

Isn't it? The universe interferes, some methods are near impossible to achieve , risks are high for failure sometimes I feel I've more chance of winning the lottery

 

[Xerxes]

CTB on your own terms is hard as hell, but catching a disease or somehow getting cancer is easier.

 

[AveryConure]

I remember one time some edgy teen told me to go kill myself and I told him I'd honestly love to but it's actually way harder than what it looks like and even asked him if he had suggestions and shut down the usual ODing, firearm etc.

He shut the hell up quickly afterwards.

 

[TheLastTrip]

CTB on your own terms is hard as hell, but catching a disease or somehow getting cancer is easier.

This is going to sound horrible I know, but we think of desperate things when we're at the end of our rope, but I have actually thought about trying to give myself cancerous cells, and then refuse treatment because I want to try natural therapies or something. It would be so painful though, and instead of my family having to deal with a sudden suicide, they'd have a drawn out and slow death, which is probably more agonising for both of us.

How would I go about doing it? Find radioactive stuff and carry it around with me, sleep with it near me, whatever it took, build up a little stockpile by taking stuff apart that has that material in it, and let it bombard my body with radiation until my cells mutate and get cancerous. Hell my family even has a history of it so the doctors wouldn't even bat an eyelid if it worked.

Morbid, painful and probably unrealistic, but it was something I put some time into considering.

 

[weedoge]

This is going to sound horrible I know, but we think of desperate things when we're at the end of our rope, but I have actually thought about trying to give myself cancerous cells, and then refuse treatment because I want to try natural therapies or something. It would be so painful though, and instead of my family having to deal with a sudden suicide, they'd have a drawn out and slow death, which is probably more agonising for both of us.

How would I go about doing it? Find radioactive stuff and carry it around with me, sleep with it near me, whatever it took, build up a little stockpile by taking stuff apart that has that material in it, and let it bombard my body with radiation until my cells mutate and get cancerous. Hell my family even has a history of it so the doctors wouldn't even bat an eyelid if it worked.

Morbid, painful and probably unrealistic, but it was something I put some time into considering.

I thought about it too in the past, very unrealistic, I'm pretty sure it's very hard to induce a certain type of cancer purposely. Some people smoke 40 every day and never get cancer, some people don't smoke and take care of their health immensely but still develop cancer. It's hard, and probably harder than you realise too.

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

Yeah, it's the worst. I'll never get anywhere with this measly half-pack a day habit of mine.

 

[weedoge]

The oldest human ever was a smoker by the way...

Calment is known to have smoked in her elderly years, and is claimed to have smoked tobacco cigarettes from the age of 21 (1896) to 117 (1992).[1][8] According to one source, she smoked no more than two cigarettes per day and it is not known whether she inhaled,[21]whereas an earlier medical source states that she smoked cigars with her husband before changing to cigarettes more recently

 

[Xerxes]

Doesn't have to be cancer. Could also be HIV/AIDS, Lyme disease, untreated Rabies, hell some people even die of a toothache via blood poisoning.

 

[weedoge]

Doesn't have to be cancer. Could also be HIV/AIDS, Lyme disease, untreated Rabies, hell some people even die of a toothache via blood poisoning.

Yeah I heard about the tooth thing, when you don't get a cavity treated and it infects the root, those blood vessels are closely linked to the vessels that go into the brain, it's easy for a tooth infection to become fatal because of that.

 

[Xerxes]

Yeah I heard about the tooth thing, when you don't get a cavity treated and it infects the root, those blood vessels are closely linked to the vessels that go into the brain, it's easy for a tooth infection to become fatal because of that.

I had a toothache for a year because on dental insurance and lack of money to get it treated. The wait is too long to determine when you'll get that fatal infection when the pain itself wanted you to buy a gun and shoot yourself.

 

[AveryConure]

Yeah I heard about the tooth thing, when you don't get a cavity treated and it infects the root, those blood vessels are closely linked to the vessels that go into the brain, it's easy for a tooth infection to become fatal because of that.

It's sadly more of a possibility cause of how fucked the healthcare system is (at least in America) but honestly if someone offered to shoot me in the head instead of slowly dying from a painful as fuck infected tooth I would take his offer gladly.

 

[Trashcan]

It is. The survival instinct is a fucking bitch. I wish there was some drug you could take that would get rid of your survival instinct.

 

[Shewaitsforme]

This is going to sound horrible I know, but we think of desperate things when we're at the end of our rope, but I have actually thought about trying to give myself cancerous cells, and then refuse treatment because I want to try natural therapies or something. It would be so painful though, and instead of my family having to deal with a sudden suicide, they'd have a drawn out and slow death, which is probably more agonising for both of us.

How would I go about doing it? Find radioactive stuff and carry it around with me, sleep with it near me, whatever it took, build up a little stockpile by taking stuff apart that has that material in it, and let it bombard my body with radiation until my cells mutate and get cancerous. Hell my family even has a history of it so the doctors wouldn't even bat an eyelid if it worked.

Morbid, painful and probably unrealistic, but it was something I put some time into considering.

Your not alone there, ive nit gone for my smear in months because im hoping id get cancer. I had pre-cancerous cells removed around 2008, they caught it in time. Its horribke wishing you had a health problem loke that when so many people die from it but wish they wernt. Shows how desperate we really are

 

[BaconCheeseburger]

This is going to sound horrible I know, but we think of desperate things when we're at the end of our rope, but I have actually thought about trying to give myself cancerous cells, and then refuse treatment because I want to try natural therapies or something. It would be so painful though, and instead of my family having to deal with a sudden suicide, they'd have a drawn out and slow death, which is probably more agonising for both of us.

How would I go about doing it? Find radioactive stuff and carry it around with me, sleep with it near me, whatever it took, build up a little stockpile by taking stuff apart that has that material in it, and let it bombard my body with radiation until my cells mutate and get cancerous. Hell my family even has a history of it so the doctors wouldn't even bat an eyelid if it worked.

Morbid, painful and probably unrealistic, but it was something I put some time into considering.

Go on tanning beds incredibly regularly?

 

[cap]

I know right, way harder than living.

 

[TheLastTrip]

Go on tanning beds incredibly regularly?

My family has a history of skin cancer so that would probably work! It's all a very long term plan though, I've moved to more... direct methods now :D

 

[Retched]

I hope to hell I don't live as long as the women in my family. My grandma died at 100. She was smart though and had loads of cash saved up. She lived a sweet life up until the end. I don't foresee any good things in my future, perhaps even homelessness, so I am thinking if I live to be 100, I would freak out. That's ok, I don't think I'll have the will to live if I end up homeless. I don't have the will to live now. I do have a bitch ass of survival instinct though and it is pissing me off. And my one family tie that keeps me alive.

 

[TheGoodGuy]

you have to overpower the strongest instinct, go against societal values etc. so much easier just to live, fantasing about killing your self instead. I am done with all that, I have a solid date planned, with multiple lethal methods. I have to take care of these obligations 1st.

I have thought about this a lot in the last weeks and I have to agree with you, it´s "easier" to live even though it is so hard to do I don´t get why people call it the easy way out the people saying this clearly never have tried to ctb themselves because as we all know there is NOTHING easy about killing oneself!

 

[starcrossedfate]

Yes, it's quite difficult.

 

[Nofaith]

Your not alone there, ive nit gone for my smear in months because im hoping id get cancer. I had pre-cancerous cells removed around 2008, they caught it in time. Its horribke wishing you had a health problem loke that when so many people die from it but wish they wernt. Shows how desperate we really are

I thought I was the only one who skipped out on smears for the same reason.