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thedutchguy

thedutchguy

Slowly drowing
Jun 5, 2019
114
Give you're heart time to heal. Other said it before if you ain't got any other illnesses give it time.

I know your feeling all too well. If been through divorce (after 15 years together we were bot 17 and married for 8) where she cheated and quickly jumped in a relation with the one she cheated with.
She left me because of my diseases and slowly got worse.

She left me in all the troubles of divorce didn't lift a finger too clear up her shit. I have done it for myself and did her part.

I know life seems numb now. The roots of each other grow in each other when one leave that is the pain you feel. But do give it time to heal up. It isn't worth to CTB now. Give it a good amount of time CTB can always be done but do it with a clear mind, don't do it impulsively.

My PM is always open if you need to vent.
 
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Cevapcici

Student
Dec 30, 2018
146
I think 49 is a good age to throw men in the trash and start partying, going on vacation, enjoying your life by yourself or with your female friends. No man is worth committing suicide over...!
 
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Fernandead

Member
Jun 6, 2019
9
You got to realize if your suicide planning isn't merely a revenge act against that dumb person. If it is, you should think it over. Being alone also means being available for someone who deserves your commitment.

I haven't forgot my last loved one, and, even today, I mess up by starting to talk and go out with other womens just to figure out that I'm still stuck on my ex. I guess figuring out that I'll never meet someone as her, gives me a lot of wood to burn on this suicidal fireplace at my head.
 
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blanketyblk

blanketyblk

Mage
Jun 9, 2019
574
Question: Is is pathetic to kill myself over this? Does killing myself seem like an act of revenge? Does it make a even bigger loser?

My circumstances are a little different to yours. My partner took their own life. But I can see how with killing yourself over heartache is on your mind. The only reason i didn't was i decided to refocus my life on looking after my parents. That's the only reason why I am still around.

Hugs!
 
Quinlor

Quinlor

The stranger
Feb 21, 2019
1,058
For me, my broken heart was the trigger for my mental collapse, but I agree with many here that the idea of ctb it's in general caused for a set problems more complex.
 
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Aliaiactaest

Student
Jun 7, 2019
184
My mom passed away last year. One of the few sources of unconditional love.
 
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thedutchguy

thedutchguy

Slowly drowing
Jun 5, 2019
114
My mom passed away last year. One of the few sources of unconditional love.
Indeed maybe one of the only sources a parent's love is unconditional (if you got a strong band with them)
 
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blanketyblk

blanketyblk

Mage
Jun 9, 2019
574
My mom passed away last year. One of the few sources of unconditional love.
Indeed maybe one of the only sources a parent's love is unconditional (if you got a strong band with them)

So true. Most of the time our parents are our advocates in the world. They will always go to bat for you. Once they are gone you truly realize how cold and hard the world is..
 
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TiredHorse

Enlightened
Nov 1, 2018
1,819
The math sounds odd. You were with her for 24 years then she just leaves and has a kid with another man? How old is she?
She is 42. We got together when she was 17. She just gave birth to her daughter this past weekend. (Makes me queasy to type that.)
 
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andy69

Experienced
May 23, 2019
292
I think 49 is a good age to throw men in the trash and start partying, going on vacation, enjoying your life by yourself or with your female friends. No man is worth committing suicide over...!


I'm a man too. Your comment is very sexist.
 
Kjo

Kjo

Student
Jun 7, 2019
148
Question: Is is pathetic to kill myself over this? Does killing myself seem like an act of revenge? Does it make a even bigger loser?

My opinion
Suicide is never pathetic. It sounds like heartbreak, not revenge (assuming you're not going to ctb at his door or leave a vengeful note). Not a loser.

Also, 49 is not too late to start over, by the way.
 
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Cevapcici

Student
Dec 30, 2018
146
I'm a man too. Your comment is very sexist.
I don't see how or where my comment was sexist.... And , my bad for assuming you're a woman , but I assumed "Andy" was a female name.

PS : but I'm fine with it if you want to think my suggestion to what I thought was a straight woman to "enjoy your life" was sexist.
 
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TimeToDie

Mage
Jun 13, 2019
521
There are worse things than breakups, like having disabling social phobia which has entirely prevented one from having any relationship ever. I wish I had enjoyed decades of partnership, but I was all alone instead which might give you some idea of why I don't want to live.
 
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TiredHorse

Enlightened
Nov 1, 2018
1,819
There are worse things than breakups, like having disabling social phobia which has entirely prevented one from having any relationship ever. I wish I had enjoyed decades of partnership, but I was all alone instead which might give you some idea of why I don't want to live.
I would caution anyone here against making quantitative assertions of "worse things." We each have our breaking point. What is enough to push me to CTB may be of no consequence to someone else, while someone else's source of agony may be a minor sorrow to me.

What matters is that for each of us, our personal agony is currently more than we can bear. Pain thresholds are unique to individuals, and comparative judgements about those thresholds are not especially worthwhile.
 
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TimeToDie

Mage
Jun 13, 2019
521
@TiredHorse I certainly didn't mean to suggest that your pain wasn't real & significant. I can certainly understand how losing the one you love after a quarter century would be devastating.

I wasn't commenting on others so much as commenting on MYSELF. I see others who either have or have had relationships and it makes me so sad because I end up comparing myself to them and I see how they have (or at least had) so much more than I've even had.
 
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TiredHorse

Enlightened
Nov 1, 2018
1,819
@TimeToDie, I'm sorry if I came across as attacking you personally. Now that it is pointed out, I can completely see how you would see it that way, but I did not at all mean to single you out.

Heartbreak as a cause to CTB has come up several times on various threads, quite naturally. Of course the despair and loneliness of never having had that closeness at all is every bit as severe, and has also been the subject of several threads --and for that pain, your demon, you have my deepest sympathy.

What inspired my post is that regardless of the initial lament of a thread, whatever it may be, I have too often seen the occasional callous member of the forum disparaging others for their particular, perceived-as-more-minor demon. Laments for both heartbreak and loneliness seem to be especially prone to that pernicious form of thread drift. For some reason, tonight I couldn't bear to see that trend repeat itself, and so when I imagined the possibility that such a trend might be starting, I attempted to nip it in the bud in a general way.

Again, I apologize for, to all appearances, coming down hard on you. You didn't need that or deserve it.
 
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manwewaslonely

manwewaslonely

shrug
Jun 13, 2019
31
I went through a heartbreak twice last year. The first time I found someone else, the second time fucking crushed me. But after three or four months, I was over him and I learned a lot about myself. I was happy being single until pretty recently and even now sometimes I'm glad I'm still single. I'm just saying that I know how overwhelming and soul crushing it is. But I know how you feel and that's what I did to move on. Give it time. I know nobody wants to hear that, but the good thing about emotions like heartbreak is they're temporary and the good thing about the future is that it's unknown.