Coming to terms with being an idiot.

[IQLESS]

It's impossible, I can't accept the fact that I'm so stupid. I'm not smart and I'm failing all my classes, I feel like I study a lot yet I don't understand anything. I have always been very traditionally not so smart, people tell me to do simple things yet I don't always understand them and they get mad, I've thought if I'm borderline retarded, but that doesn't seem to be the case. I'm gonna get kicked out of school soon because I'm failing all my classes. I hate it, you can't get 'smarter' by reading books, all it does is increase your knowledge, smarts is something you are born with and can be affected very little, you cannot change it. I wish so much I was smart, all I see is people who do things I cannot with no effort yet I work so hard. Why. I can't ever get a high-paying job like this, I don't know what to do or what I want to do. If I'm so mentally challenged then why can't I be good at drawing or writing or music. I suck at everything. Why the fuck was I born with this smooth brain. Stop telling me that 'yOu aRe sMaRt bEcAuSe yOu aRe sElF aWaRe' No i'm not and fuck you, you don't know what it's like not being able to understand basic household chores when someone tells you how to do it 10x times, I'm tired of all these expectations on me while I can't do shit. I'm gonna be a janitor at a school for the rest of my life and live in some shitty one room apartment where the walls are peeling off. I'm not good at anything, I'm one in a million where a human is so fucking useless it's beyond comprehension. Fuck me, I'm still looking for a source of SN, I need to die quick, It's only gonna get harder and harder. I need to die before that happens because I can't take it.

 

[TheHatedOne]

I'm very sorry that you are dealing with this, I somewhat felt myself into what you wrote as I'm not good at anything either and have trouble understanding and doing basic things. And schooll, well, it is as if school's only purpose is to degrade everyone and make them feel depressed, worthless, dumb etc. In reality school's just a shitshow where you have to memorize a bunch of useless stuff that you will definitely forget after u finish. It's a huge ass lie when they say it helps u learn things and prepares u for life. Huge ass lie. So I don't think anyone should judge themselves based on this.

Life's already full of pain and suffering, but when you have shitty bullshit useless brain it's infinite times worse where you don't have many options. Sending you big hugs.

 

[lobster salad]

I honestly see myself in you. Although I am dumber probably. I dropped to the bottom in class, and in the whole level. I was in a very non-prestigious school of my country, the school that is known for more bad than good. The school where the 'stupid' people go. Most people of that school (75%)don't make it to university. And if they have a chance to, it'd take them years longer. And now I'm not studying or working. I don't even really want to think about school. School is the reminder for my low intelligence. I repeated many years in highsch for failing. Not that I have EQ to back up my IQ lack. I can't talk to people normally. I'd fidget and be super nervous and have nothing to say usually.

 

[meetapple]

Please don't call yourself an idiot. To me an idiot is a very derogatory term which you don't deserve.

 

[Shu]

You can type a well worded paragraph and use grammar and punctuation very well so you can't be that stupid my friend

 

[mayHeCurseUsAll]

As someone already said, try not to sweat the grades too much, although easier said than done because our current model of education sees grades as the end all and be all of a students worth in most parts of the world still, to the point it isn't entirely untrue that poor enough grades and the absence of vocational skills (which aren't taught at most schools at all) can set you up for a very tough start to adult life.

From your post, it sounds like you may have some ADHD symptoms, if possible maybe you could get examined for a learning disorder by a psychologist?

 

[ncmxm]

I'm sorry I don't have much to say except that I relate a lot to you and that I'm also really fucking dumb and it contributes to my suicidality

 

[FuneralCry]

It frustrates me that we were forced to exist without choice and we have all these pressures and expectations placed on us. Life is very unfair. I have always had low intelligence, this life is certainly not for me. I know that it can be hard to carry on when you cannot take anymore of this life, I'm sorry you are going through this. I wish you the best.

 

[veryhappyhuman]

FWIW I'm sure there are people here who were/are considered "smart"... and they still ended up here. Life is about so much more than just intelligence (especially the kind appreciated in academia).

For example you could be so smart that no one else wants to associate with you because it makes them feel inferior -- and you end up a lonely loser.

 

[ncmxm]

FWIW I'm sure there are people here who were/are considered "smart"... and they still ended up here. Life is about so much more than just intelligence (especially the kind appreciated in academia).

For example you could be so smart that no one else wants to associate with you because it makes them feel inferior -- and you end up a lonely loser.

Would still rather be that than a lonely loser no one else wants to associate with who is also stupid

 

[Of The Universe]

What are u studying,by the by?