I second what @avalokitesvara said, if you are not ready to die you should not force yourself to die. There is nothing shameful about living. The culture of the site may often make it feel like suicide is some kind of accomplishment, but it's not. It should only be done when you genuinely want this and nothing else imo. You should never feel forced to kill yourself. And if it's as inevitable as you say (which it isn't, it is in your control and no one else's), it will happen when you're ready for it to happen, if that day ever comes.