“Coming out” as mentally ill and losing friends/ family

[Bathsheba]

Anyone else experienced this? It's fucked up. Since I told people my dad has not said one word, nothing supportive just nothing, my mum used it as a reason for all the shit things that I've ever done.. and used it as a reason to exonerate herself from blame for all the shit things she's done. I realised yesterday.. my best friend is avoiding me!! I haven't seen her since I told her! A couple of awkward texts like she doesn't know what to say.
I was misdiagnosed with anxiety and depression, now been diagnosed bpd and before when it was anxiety/ depression it was like the acceptable face of mental illness. Everyone wanted to tell me they felt the same way. Any mental illness beyond that it seems people can't cope with me and run away scared :-(

 

[StillWaiting]

I guess some of them don't want to bear the responsibility of dealing with people who suffer mental illness.
I knew people who know that I have mental illness but they treat as if it didn't exist.

Can't blame others for not caring enough, they have their own lives to live.

 

[CyanideSoup]

Ive definitely experienced this, almost the same really. When I was diagnosed with depression everyone would just tell me 'oh I'm sad too, its okay you'll be fine' but now I've been diagnosed with BPD it's like nobody knows what to say. They hear personality disorder and think I'm a psychopath. I'm sorry I can't give any positive input but youre not alone in feeling this way. Feel free to PM me if you need somebody to talk to.

 

[marconk]

I've been trying to open up lately... In the best case people don't really know what to say, or they come up with the usual trite "it gets better" or "get some help/I'm glad you're getting help" stuff. Can't really blame them though.
My parents on the other hand are a bit cold and I'm not sure if it's something I've done and I deserve it (I'm having a bit of a breakdown) or if they are just not very supportive... I feel like they think I'm crazy-in-a-bad-way and it's making me feel even more alienated and lonely.
I'm sorry your family is like that... are you sure you best friend is really ignoring you though? Don't know about you but sometimes in this kind of situation I read too much into things, I guess because of fear of abandonment or something like that. Maybe she doesn't really know what to say, but that doesn't necessarily mean she is trying to avoid you.

 

[Bathsheba]

I've been trying to open up lately... In the best case people don't really know what to say, or they come up with the usual trite "it gets better" or "get some help/I'm glad you're getting help" stuff. Can't really blame them though.
My parents on the other hand are a bit cold and I'm not sure if it's something I've done and I deserve it (I'm having a bit of a breakdown) or if they are just not very supportive... I feel like they think I'm crazy-in-a-bad-way and it's making me feel even more alienated and lonely.
I'm sorry your family is like that... are you sure you best friend is really ignoring you though? Don't know about you but sometimes in this kind of situation I read too much into things, I guess because of fear of abandonment or something like that. Maybe she doesn't really know what to say, but that doesn't necessarily mean she is trying to avoid you.

Yes I know what you mean.. I do get paranoia as well so I guess I do read too much into things at times. And yes I do have a big fear of abandonment so I guess that makes sense..
Thank you for being nice.. I know how you feel with the whole 'crazy in a bad way' thing. It really sucks. This forum makes me feel less lonely x

Ive definitely experienced this, almost the same really. When I was diagnosed with depression everyone would just tell me 'oh I'm sad too, its okay you'll be fine' but now I've been diagnosed with BPD it's like nobody knows what to say. They hear personality disorder and think I'm a psychopath. I'm sorry I can't give any positive input but youre not alone in feeling this way. Feel free to PM me if you need somebody to talk to.

Thank you xxx it's the same for me. I told them I have bpd and they don't bother to find out more about the diagnosis they just think it means I'm generally mental and bad. You have given me positive input by the way! I'm definitely going to PM you xx

 

[Rachel74]

I am more open than I used to be but there is still a lot of stigma attached to MH. Work have been ok and I have cut my hours since my last OD but its not something that many know.

 

[puppy9]

Anyone else experienced this? It's fucked up. Since I told people my dad has not said one word, nothing supportive just nothing, my mum used it as a reason for all the shit things that I've ever done.. and used it as a reason to exonerate herself from blame for all the shit things she's done. I realised yesterday.. my best friend is avoiding me!! I haven't seen her since I told her! A couple of awkward texts like she doesn't know what to say.
I was misdiagnosed with anxiety and depression, now been diagnosed bpd and before when it was anxiety/ depression it was like the acceptable face of mental illness. Everyone wanted to tell me they felt the same way. Any mental illness beyond that it seems people can't cope with me and run away scared :-(

Yeah it's totally fucked up, I have bipolar and I'm afraid to tell people coz they prolly gonna think I'm gonna run amok. Your dad is silent, your mom is using it as a bullet.Your friend seems aloof to your suffering. Yeah it's fine to have anxiety and depression coz everyone tend to view it as a norm. But anything down the rabbit hole, is a no no for em. I feel ya. :(

 

[SlackJim]

Thats sounds very difficult, I think their reactions come from fear of the unknown. Maybe if your friend will listen you can talk to them about how you feel, what your diagnosis means. I think people who know nothing about personality disorders get a bit freaked out, like most the population as soon as you mention schizophrenia for example... Its also good to value yourself and not hold on to draining relationships. I wish you the best in this difficult time

 

[Bathsheba]

Thats sounds very difficult, I think their reactions come from fear of the unknown. Maybe if your friend will listen you can talk to them about how you feel, what your diagnosis means. I think people who know nothing about personality disorders get a bit freaked out, like most the population as soon as you mention schizophrenia for example... Its also good to value yourself and not hold on to draining relationships. I wish you the best in this difficult time

Yes!! And I'm just so surprised that these people who don't understand personality disorders don't do a simple google search when they find out their daughter/ friend has this diagnosis. They close down, assuming it just means you're irrational, angry and some sort of 'psycho' not knowing or caring what it actually means.

 

[stellabelle]

I'm sorry that you're experiencing this.
Remember in the future that you don't owe an explanation to anyone. You don't have to tell anyone.

I feel like people look at me differently too if I tell them what happened. It's easier to just not talk about it which is really a damn shame.

 

[Bathsheba]

I'm sorry that you're experiencing this.
Remember in the future that you don't owe an explanation to anyone. You don't have to tell anyone.

I feel like people look at me differently too if I tell them what happened. It's easier to just not talk about it which is really a damn shame.

I really wish I'd never told anyone now x

 

[Sweet emotion]

Anyone else experienced this? It's fucked up. Since I told people my dad has not said one word, nothing supportive just nothing, my mum used it as a reason for all the shit things that I've ever done.. and used it as a reason to exonerate herself from blame for all the shit things she's done. I realised yesterday.. my best friend is avoiding me!! I haven't seen her since I told her! A couple of awkward texts like she doesn't know what to say.
I was misdiagnosed with anxiety and depression, now been diagnosed bpd and before when it was anxiety/ depression it was like the acceptable face of mental illness. Everyone wanted to tell me they felt the same way. Any mental illness beyond that it seems people can't cope with me and run away scared :-(

I'm so sorry and my heart breaks for you. Mental illness runs on my mom's side of the family. My grandma had a nervous breakdown, and my mother and aunt have anxiety issues. I also suffer from anxiety and depression but that is not why I want to die? Not the full reason. The real reason is because I have Complex Regional Pain Syndrome which is the highest ranking pain condition in medical history. But when I told my family how extreme my OCD was at 15 and that I was struggling with something really bad they took it too lightly until they realized what was going on inside my mind was very real. Then they understood and we're totally supportive. Even my grandfather who is very old school and doesn't understand how people can be depressed. He wasn't a big help to my grandmother when this happened to her because he didn't get it. Now he is the most sensitive man I've ever met. More so than my own father was. He died from alcoholism. My poor grandmother passed away too during these 14 years of me fighting this disease.

But my heart breaks for you and every other person who is dealing with an illness...mental, physical or both like me and don't have people that they can't count on to love them for who they are no matter what flaws they have and aren't responsible for. I hope you know that this is not your fault. In no way what so ever. You didn't do this to yourself. Shame on them for not supporting you. They act like it's contagious or something and it makes me sick. I wish you peace and I hope that your family finally comes around and supports you. If you need to talk just PM me. I'll be here until Im not. Lots of love.

I guess some of them don't want to bear the responsibility of dealing with people who suffer mental illness.
I knew people who know that I have mental illness but they treat as if it didn't exist.

Can't blame others for not caring enough, they have their own lives to live.

You can't blame her parents for not caring enough? She is their child.

I've been trying to open up lately... In the best case people don't really know what to say, or they come up with the usual trite "it gets better" or "get some help/I'm glad you're getting help" stuff. Can't really blame them though.
My parents on the other hand are a bit cold and I'm not sure if it's something I've done and I deserve it (I'm having a bit of a breakdown) or if they are just not very supportive... I feel like they think I'm crazy-in-a-bad-way and it's making me feel even more alienated and lonely.
I'm sorry your family is like that... are you sure you best friend is really ignoring you though? Don't know about you but sometimes in this kind of situation I read too much into things, I guess because of fear of abandonment or something like that. Maybe she doesn't really know what to say, but that doesn't necessarily mean she is trying to avoid you.

This is NOT your fault and you DONT deserve what is happening to you so don't even think that ok? Even what it's hard not to. Just like my physical illnesses isn't my fault. You're being treated really shitty by the people who are supposed to love you unconditionally. Whether you're gay, straight, fat, thin, pretty, whatever. Don't lose your self worth in this fight. You make sure you know how much you matter in this life because o oy you have to live it.

 

[stellabelle]

I really wish I'd never told anyone now x

I understand and have shared similar regret. That fact is something that I learned in domestic violence counseling. Nobody needs to know and I don't have to share anything that I don't want to. It's hard because part of you does and then when you cave, you regret it.