clonazepam od non-method for a "trial run" of suicide?

[insekurity]

ik benzos are a total non-method but i'd like to try a fake-real suicide for no reason other than to prove to myself i can do it and also to just kinda have a Suicide Lite or something. fake-suicide-ish just to feel like im killing myself for a little bit, and if it works its good and if it sorta-fails and i CTB its fine too, and if it scares me into a will to live that'll be amazing. ig my mindset is kinda like looking up the menu of a restaurant and rehearsing how to order just to help address the first time anxiety, but for suicide?? how much clonazepam do i need to take? is like 6mg enough or should i save up my prescription refills a bit more (gonna take a while due to shortage)

but yeah is this an ok plan or should i just stick to choking myself out with my hands on my carotids and pretend im hanging myself? i just want the "full experience" so to speak just to prove to myself im not faking my suicidality. which sounds weird but im being fr and just like the scars from my sh i kinda need this sort of. because im just constantly passively suicidal for basically my whole life and too adhd to pull through during the many times i actually set out to carry out my plans cos by the time im at the building or at the cliff or elbows deep in a drawer looking for something to hang with, i'd already kinda lost the emotional impulse and end up doing a different impulse like binge on sweets or jerk off idfk bro god im just talking bullshit atp i feel dumb asf for even asking how to do a CTB full immersion simulation

 

[DeadDreamsDame]

Hi I don't know about clonazepam, but I've had this feeling too of wanting a rehearsal so to speak. To me I realized it was more that I wanted a break. From myself. From life. Idk if that is how it is for you, but if it is thats ok, if not thats ok too. Just wanted you to know you aren't alone in having these thoughts or feelings.

 

[insekurity]

Im doing it. Its a total non method given hoe small 6mg is but at least ill get a good sleep and hopefully someone cares enough to notice me and bring me to the er and prove to me they love me and see me.

 

[peacebenow]

Im doing it. Its a total non method given hoe small 6mg is but at least ill get a good sleep and hopefully someone cares enough to notice me and bring me to the er and prove to me they love me and see me.

this may not be the best thing to do in order to find out if someone cares enough to notice you and prove to you they love you and see you. there are other ways to accomplish that.

 

[sadbh]

this may not be the best thing to do in order to find out if someone cares enough to notice you and prove to you they love you and see you. there are other ways to accomplish that.

Just asking for a friend… how would you do that?

 

[peacebenow]

Just asking for a friend… how would you do that?

Expecting to get the love and attention out of this they seek may not happen and they may be sent to a pysch ward.

 

[sadbh]

Expecting to get the love and attention out of this they seek may not happen and they may be sent to a pysch ward.

Right, but how could you effectively stage a suicide attempt?

For me, I swallowed a bottle of pills (nothing lethal unfortunately) and tried hanging myself three times (but had a lack of materials) and no one had a reaction. I think because I wasn't caught.

 

[insekurity]

I slept the whole day frim 8am to 6pm n nobdoy checked on me. I feel free of the worry that ool will meess me now. I think i have ghe coueangr ti ctb now. I huest need the timung n the prep to set up beforehand so my adhd wont get in the way anymore. I always worry sppl will miss me ad im glad i have oroof now that novody will
Vn a psych ward is proof i am lovee dn noticed snd i didnt vn get thst
Vn a psych ward is proof i am lovee dn noticed snd i didnt vn get thst

 

[insekurity]

I cut myself n dnobdy cares. Im un bed al day n noby cara. I text mt docs n dthwybh ghst m. Noobg y cares bt me

 

[melodrama]

Yeah, I get it. Sometimes it feels like no one cares about us. They say they do, but their actions don't match their words... I'm looking for a non-method too, and so far, a medicine overdose seems like the best option.

 

[Serena 2026]

ik benzos are a total non-method but i'd like to try a fake-real suicide for no reason other than to prove to myself i can do it and also to just kinda have a Suicide Lite or something. fake-suicide-ish just to feel like im killing myself for a little bit, and if it works its good and if it sorta-fails and i CTB its fine too, and if it scares me into a will to live that'll be amazing. ig my mindset is kinda like looking up the menu of a restaurant and rehearsing how to order just to help address the first time anxiety, but for suicide?? how much clonazepam do i need to take? is like 6mg enough or should i save up my prescription refills a bit more (gonna take a while due to shortage)

but yeah is this an ok plan or should i just stick to choking myself out with my hands on my carotids and pretend im hanging myself? i just want the "full experience" so to speak just to prove to myself im not faking my suicidality. which sounds weird but im being fr and just like the scars from my sh i kinda need this sort of. because im just constantly passively suicidal for basically my whole life and too adhd to pull through during the many times i actually set out to carry out my plans cos by the time im at the building or at the cliff or elbows deep in a drawer looking for something to hang with, i'd already kinda lost the emotional impulse and end up doing a different impulse like binge on sweets or jerk off idfk bro god im just talking bullshit atp i feel dumb asf for even asking how to do a CTB full immersion simulation

So, I think it was on my fourth or fifth attempt that I took about 300 pills—around 150 of which were 2mg clonazepam... I survived because I was found, but I spent 18 days in a coma; I was told I was covered in vomit and had also aspirated it. My brain swelled significantly, and although I didn't suffer any major lasting effects, I did develop cerebral thrombosis years later... Would I have died if I hadn't been found? I'll never know!!

 

[monkeysee2]

So, I think it was on my fourth or fifth attempt that I took about 300 pills—around 150 of which were 2mg clonazepam... I survived because I was found, but I spent 18 days in a coma; I was told I was covered in vomit and had also aspirated it. My brain swelled significantly, and although I didn't suffer any major lasting effects, I did develop cerebral thrombosis years later... Would I have died if I hadn't been found? I'll never know!!

That sounds frightening to go through. 18 days in a coma!

How fast were you found? What other pills did you consume if you're ok with me asking?

 

[Serena 2026]

That sounds frightening to go through. 18 days in a coma!

How fast were you found? What other pills did you consume if you're ok with me asking?

They found me 12 hours later; I lived alone, but my brother called and got suspicious because my phone was off... Well, I took a bunch of heart medications my mother had left behind after she passed away—things like digoxin, among others I can't recall right now... I was still too naive about how to commit suicide; I even took rat poison and survived... but now I have the N, and soon I'll be at peace!!