Proxycake
Matrimony
- Feb 20, 2023
- 87
I am incompatible in this life, I am incompetent, a liar, far too blunt to have a lover. Filthy, moronic, yet so arrogant and controlling. I am not deserving of a lover, he is so sweet, but he pisses me off so much. I want to go home, become a better person, if that's possible. Death leads home, resumes me back to my old lifetime. My lover will be there too. We'll both be there, and I will be less rude than I was. I miss having a perfect body as I did back then. Now I am,, whatever this is. Sometimes, my eyes fog up, and I see myself stabbing my stomach, my chest, every piece of my body in sight, until I pass slowly, gashes on my body. Then I can go home. I want to go home, I had another life. I was perfect and beautiful and flawless, wanted by so many, and I need to kill myself soon, I am so homesick. I need to do it now, but whatever will my lover do? He'd be devastated. I know he's too much of a coward to kill himself, he'd be left there, alone, without me. I'd be home, and he wouldn't. That's greedy.
If I were beautiful, I'd have already killed this existing body, and went back home. Home is beautiful, and so was I. I want everyone I used to know back, they are so worried about me, most likely. I can't wait to be gorgeous again, tall and slender.
People are waiting for me, I was most likely put into this body by God or some higher being to live a different life for a bit, then I'll go back home. I wonder what happened. I wonder where my manager is, and if he's looking for me. Maybe he's here too, stuck here. I am so lonely. I want home. Does anybody else want home?
They all ignore what I say! Except for my lover, he mindlessly agrees with everything I say. There is no disagreement there, no. He just agrees because I am all he has left. Probably because I ruined his life, with my overbearing problems and mentalities. When I am home, I'll be no burden. Except to my manager, I am always his burden. I wonder which home I'll go to, actually. Is there a correct one? "We need to get you another therapist!" Find me a psychologist, or a psychiatrist, please, someone find out what's wrong with me, and where my home is. I need a gun, somehow, someway. When I hold my breath enough, when I make myself pass out, I feel at home for a little bit. Please don't give up on me, if you are reading this, I'll be home soon. Preserve my body, don't let it decay too much. I will be back.
If I were beautiful, I'd have already killed this existing body, and went back home. Home is beautiful, and so was I. I want everyone I used to know back, they are so worried about me, most likely. I can't wait to be gorgeous again, tall and slender.
People are waiting for me, I was most likely put into this body by God or some higher being to live a different life for a bit, then I'll go back home. I wonder what happened. I wonder where my manager is, and if he's looking for me. Maybe he's here too, stuck here. I am so lonely. I want home. Does anybody else want home?
They all ignore what I say! Except for my lover, he mindlessly agrees with everything I say. There is no disagreement there, no. He just agrees because I am all he has left. Probably because I ruined his life, with my overbearing problems and mentalities. When I am home, I'll be no burden. Except to my manager, I am always his burden. I wonder which home I'll go to, actually. Is there a correct one? "We need to get you another therapist!" Find me a psychologist, or a psychiatrist, please, someone find out what's wrong with me, and where my home is. I need a gun, somehow, someway. When I hold my breath enough, when I make myself pass out, I feel at home for a little bit. Please don't give up on me, if you are reading this, I'll be home soon. Preserve my body, don't let it decay too much. I will be back.
