For 12 years I've been in the situation that has made me consider suicide after 2 years of trying to find an answer to my physical pain, so its been 10 years on and off of failure and trying again to improve my life and find key information about my health symptoms.
My main health problem is constant nasal pain from inflamed tissues, not infected, no evidence of autoimmune process, just enlarged turbinates pressing on nerves, constant irritation and pain that worsens with any kind of mental effort so I am very limited in regards to mental performance, cannot read for very long before it all stops either making sense or leaving a trace to my memory, and the pain gets worse the harder I try to learn anything.
I feel pressure and pain around my eyes, around the mucosa in my nose all the time. It feels like that pain when you jump into a pool and get a bunch of water with the chemicals inside your nose and suddenly it feels like the tissue swells and burns. But it never goes away.
Tried allergy medication and testing, water spray, pain medication, surgery twice failed because they took tissue and fluid from the inside but it just got pumped again with fluid.
So only surgical possibility is to maybe cut them somehow small enough in half so they don't press on the walls of the nose.
There are two problems thou, first is that I feel like shit and don't have the motivation to go shopping for a doctor that I could convince to do this. Most specialists will not prefer surgery because its more work and wont give a shit and will suggest other things.
Second is that I don't have evidence that a particular surgical method works long term, a lot of people have recurrent enlargement of turbinates. And I feel like there should be an important underlying cause for them to get this big, maybe even related to nerve signaling, or immune signaling.
You can't just cut your turbinates and expect to live normal, if they stop working your life could become hell because they normally signal to your brain that you are breathing, and if they stop then your brain starts to act and make you feel agitated, it thinks you are not breathing. A lot of people have committed suicide after their turbinates got damaged or cut from surgery because of the misery of feeling out of breath, heart palpitations, pain, its something you cannot fix, you can't get a turbinate transplant. Its called empty nose syndrome.
So I recently paid for whole gene sequencing at 100x and sent the sample. Results should be in 5 to 7 weeks, then I would need to analyze myself with the help of software and studies to see if there are mutations that are linked to anything abnormal that could result in this nasal turbinate pain. Then see if there are any possible work-arounds that might result in improvement since we cannot get our genes changed yet. Then maybe I will be less likely to ctb.
In addition to the pain I have lost a huge chunk of imagination, I cannot produce mental images very often, its difficult to solve problems thru mental visualization and conceptualization. I think I used to have average mental visualization and problem solving and memory. Its gone, now I am way below average. I think its because the pain just consumes the energy the brain normally uses to do other things. So I could not finish college because it was too hard to remember things, read enough before the pain became unbearable and triggered stress neurosis and more nasal inflammation. Sometimes racing thoughts of nonsense, unorganized, sometimes not enough thoughts.
Its not the only factor contributing but its the main problem, all other difficulties are addons. Not being fit health wise to perform well enough to get at least a technical degree and a meaningful decent job. Not being able to find drive anymore to endure challenges that could be appraised as being likely to result in meaningful life improvement.
Keeping alive makes less sense as time goes on since the value of any potential I could have left diminishes to nothing more than a pathetic, meaningless, annoying existence.
My main health problem is constant nasal pain from inflamed tissues, not infected, no evidence of autoimmune process, just enlarged turbinates pressing on nerves, constant irritation and pain that worsens with any kind of mental effort so I am very limited in regards to mental performance, cannot read for very long before it all stops either making sense or leaving a trace to my memory, and the pain gets worse the harder I try to learn anything.
I feel pressure and pain around my eyes, around the mucosa in my nose all the time. It feels like that pain when you jump into a pool and get a bunch of water with the chemicals inside your nose and suddenly it feels like the tissue swells and burns. But it never goes away.
Tried allergy medication and testing, water spray, pain medication, surgery twice failed because they took tissue and fluid from the inside but it just got pumped again with fluid.
So only surgical possibility is to maybe cut them somehow small enough in half so they don't press on the walls of the nose.
There are two problems thou, first is that I feel like shit and don't have the motivation to go shopping for a doctor that I could convince to do this. Most specialists will not prefer surgery because its more work and wont give a shit and will suggest other things.
Second is that I don't have evidence that a particular surgical method works long term, a lot of people have recurrent enlargement of turbinates. And I feel like there should be an important underlying cause for them to get this big, maybe even related to nerve signaling, or immune signaling.
You can't just cut your turbinates and expect to live normal, if they stop working your life could become hell because they normally signal to your brain that you are breathing, and if they stop then your brain starts to act and make you feel agitated, it thinks you are not breathing. A lot of people have committed suicide after their turbinates got damaged or cut from surgery because of the misery of feeling out of breath, heart palpitations, pain, its something you cannot fix, you can't get a turbinate transplant. Its called empty nose syndrome.
So I recently paid for whole gene sequencing at 100x and sent the sample. Results should be in 5 to 7 weeks, then I would need to analyze myself with the help of software and studies to see if there are mutations that are linked to anything abnormal that could result in this nasal turbinate pain. Then see if there are any possible work-arounds that might result in improvement since we cannot get our genes changed yet. Then maybe I will be less likely to ctb.
In addition to the pain I have lost a huge chunk of imagination, I cannot produce mental images very often, its difficult to solve problems thru mental visualization and conceptualization. I think I used to have average mental visualization and problem solving and memory. Its gone, now I am way below average. I think its because the pain just consumes the energy the brain normally uses to do other things. So I could not finish college because it was too hard to remember things, read enough before the pain became unbearable and triggered stress neurosis and more nasal inflammation. Sometimes racing thoughts of nonsense, unorganized, sometimes not enough thoughts.
Its not the only factor contributing but its the main problem, all other difficulties are addons. Not being fit health wise to perform well enough to get at least a technical degree and a meaningful decent job. Not being able to find drive anymore to endure challenges that could be appraised as being likely to result in meaningful life improvement.
Keeping alive makes less sense as time goes on since the value of any potential I could have left diminishes to nothing more than a pathetic, meaningless, annoying existence.
