whitefeather
Thank the gods for Death
- Apr 23, 2020
- 518
Had a lot of issues throughout life but seems mold/mycotoxins which in uk aren't considered dangerous have destroyed my already compromised immune system. I am ordering N early Oct having saved up. I just hope it arrives & suffering can end.
I have yeast, chronically for at least 32 years now, it's really a fungus. I have subdued it partially with homeopathy, but it persists along with other reactivating infections. I've studied homeopathy, was a nurse, and it's been helpful in subduing some symptoms. There is a detox remedy for mold if it would help, but detoxing from mold and funguses takes some time. They are similar, they eat one's insides piece by piece, like it eats the walls and guts of a house. My condition stems from an immune disorder. I hope you get your N, and I sincerely wish you peace. I know how mold/immune disorders can affect so many organs that one is also suffering in multiple places. Best wishes.
Unfortunately I found out too late about the dangers of mold & mycotoxins. In the UK it's not taken seriously at all. By the time id paid my life savings from selling my house to see a functional doctor the damage was done. I was born immune compromised with many conditions I just didn't understand that weren't a major issue until mold destroyed my immune system. N is my only option left now.
I do take homeopathic mycotoxins. I won't say it's cured me, but it does suppress some of the symptoms, I take a detox as well. All natural and non addictive, yet I know how big a problem mold can be. There are specialists that specialize in environmental toxins. I know you've spent yourself out looking. They don't take it seriously here neither Chockles. But, I can do some research for you if you desire, I do have a medical background. I could take a look see if anything natural has risen recently that could help you. What are the immune complications you speak of.
bed
CTBed
- Aug 24, 2019
- 919
I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia at the beginning of 2021. I have disc issues in my neck as well and facial pain. I also have chronic swollen lymph nodes and glands for around the same time. I've dealt with all of the pain for 3-4 years now on top of my mental illnesses. There isn't a day where I'm not in pain. I go to a pain clinic biweekly at the moment for 10-20 injections in my neck, back and shoulders. It helps a bit.
mentalhealthfighter
Lets win together
- Jun 15, 2021
- 362
I'm dealing with bipolar 1 and chronic severe depression which is the main cause for my wanting to CTB. But also being a form of schizo and having psychosis. Now its also starting to be insomnia. Its not looking very bright for me.
I know fibromyalga, there's little hope for smiling unless these come up with a treatment.
I know how painful and problemaic fibromyalgia is, it does create neurological problems, and everything else you say. They used to say it was a form of ME/CFS, which is most often caused by a chronic infection. There is no cure for either. Both are newly recognized diseases, about 20 years ago. I wonder why all these new chronic diseases have happened, just recognized about 25 years ago, so no real answers, except that accepted infections have been thought to be more chronic and reactivating than thought, and immune problems are a new large subject of chronic illnesses like this that cause a multitude of problems. I hope they find a better answe for you, I know this is torture. Peace and best wishes.
Too late but thanks. I feeling I have motor neuron disease I'm choking all day every day on my destroyed nerves from feel ing of blocked eustachian tubes/damaged muscles & nerves around tmj. Feel strangled all the time constantly burping unable to breathe properly. I'electric burning & ice pick pain everywhere but this is the worst followed many protocols made no difference. My already weak muscles are damaged beyond repair. 3 weeks to go & hopefully I ctb
Darkmoon Queen
Specialist
- Apr 1, 2020
- 396
I have hypothyroidism.
This probably doesn't sound like much because the popular opinion is that it just makes you fat and tired. But this is highly inaccurate.
Hypothyroidism manifests in a lot of different ways in different people. The ways it manifested in me in the beginning was innocuous stuff like dry skin and constipation. I put this down to the fact I wasn't eating well. Then one day something really traumatic happened and it was like a bomb went off in me. I ended up paralysed on the floor for over six hours. I thought I'd had a stroke, the room was spinning, my skin was burning, I couldn't stand up.
The next day, I just shook violently all day. My body was heavy as if threatening to collapse. I looked as though I was losing my mind.
The day after, I went to a convention I'd been looking forward to. I was still shaking, I was still burning. I thought I was going to collapse all the time. You might wonder why I hadn't visited a hospital at this stage but, well, I feared hospitals and due to aforementioned traumatic event, I told myself I'd just had a very bad panic attack.
I recovered for about three weeks. Then it happened again, just because I'd turned my head too fast. Then I recovered. Then it happened five days later. And eventually, there were no gaps at all.
At this point, I was having psychotic breaks and hallucinations, visions of hell and a belief we were all dead. My periods disappeared. I was burning hot and walking around in shorts and vests in the snow. My metabolism was through the roof, I went from restrictive eating to inhaling pizzas and ice cream because it was the only thing that gave me temporary relief. Despite this, my weight dropped to 108lbs (I'm 5'6").
All through this, I was in therapy. I would bawl my eyes out and she told me there was nothing physically wrong with me and we might have to think about having me committed.
One day in December it got too much for me and I went to the doctor. His first guess was an electrolyte imbalance because he thought I was starving myself. But my blood came back with the lowest level of thyroid hormone he'd ever seen.
That was six years ago and my blood has been stable for five of those. My metabolism is now somewhat slower, my skin still burns and overheats when I get upset and I still have a lot of panic attacks because my limbs and face go numb and I get very dazzled by lights and high contrast patterns. Endocrinology unit at the hospital tells me this is a result of nerve damage because I left it for so long. Determined to just 'be brave'.
Well, being brave fucking kills people. As it turns out, coma and stroke were next on my list. I'd already done insanity.
People seem to think hypothyroidism is just a nothing burger but it's criminally undertreated and it reduces quality of life significantly. It's also very diverse in how it presents. I always said it's like sticking your hand into a hat and drawing out five random symptoms you'll have to live with even when you're stable.
This probably doesn't sound like much because the popular opinion is that it just makes you fat and tired. But this is highly inaccurate.
Hypothyroidism manifests in a lot of different ways in different people. The ways it manifested in me in the beginning was innocuous stuff like dry skin and constipation. I put this down to the fact I wasn't eating well. Then one day something really traumatic happened and it was like a bomb went off in me. I ended up paralysed on the floor for over six hours. I thought I'd had a stroke, the room was spinning, my skin was burning, I couldn't stand up.
The next day, I just shook violently all day. My body was heavy as if threatening to collapse. I looked as though I was losing my mind.
The day after, I went to a convention I'd been looking forward to. I was still shaking, I was still burning. I thought I was going to collapse all the time. You might wonder why I hadn't visited a hospital at this stage but, well, I feared hospitals and due to aforementioned traumatic event, I told myself I'd just had a very bad panic attack.
I recovered for about three weeks. Then it happened again, just because I'd turned my head too fast. Then I recovered. Then it happened five days later. And eventually, there were no gaps at all.
At this point, I was having psychotic breaks and hallucinations, visions of hell and a belief we were all dead. My periods disappeared. I was burning hot and walking around in shorts and vests in the snow. My metabolism was through the roof, I went from restrictive eating to inhaling pizzas and ice cream because it was the only thing that gave me temporary relief. Despite this, my weight dropped to 108lbs (I'm 5'6").
All through this, I was in therapy. I would bawl my eyes out and she told me there was nothing physically wrong with me and we might have to think about having me committed.
One day in December it got too much for me and I went to the doctor. His first guess was an electrolyte imbalance because he thought I was starving myself. But my blood came back with the lowest level of thyroid hormone he'd ever seen.
That was six years ago and my blood has been stable for five of those. My metabolism is now somewhat slower, my skin still burns and overheats when I get upset and I still have a lot of panic attacks because my limbs and face go numb and I get very dazzled by lights and high contrast patterns. Endocrinology unit at the hospital tells me this is a result of nerve damage because I left it for so long. Determined to just 'be brave'.
Well, being brave fucking kills people. As it turns out, coma and stroke were next on my list. I'd already done insanity.
People seem to think hypothyroidism is just a nothing burger but it's criminally undertreated and it reduces quality of life significantly. It's also very diverse in how it presents. I always said it's like sticking your hand into a hat and drawing out five random symptoms you'll have to live with even when you're stable.
I wish you success and peace, I'm sorry for all you've suffered.
RN12
Student
- Jul 25, 2021
- 180
true painfullOr those people who tell you to not let your illness(es) define your life, all the while their good health defines theirs?
doctors know a lot but on the other hand they don't know a damn thing about the human body yet
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A pathetic barrage of so much suffering, with little, or toxic medical help. What do all of you suggest should be done about it, to those who don't have hope of relief?
I suffer from constant severe bilateral Tinnitus and hyperacusis. Been suffering for almost 6-7 years and keeps getting worse. I'm also experiencing extreme anxiety and depression, daily migraines and OCD. If, say I hear music or a song being played on radio, it replays over and over in my head. I can't escape it all.
My only option is to die by SN but I fear it might not work. I fear death, but I have choice. I'm only 27, and I can't live like this.
My only option is to die by SN but I fear it might not work. I fear death, but I have choice. I'm only 27, and I can't live like this.
RN12
Student
- Jul 25, 2021
- 180
if elon musk or jeff bezos gave 40 billion to research all this very much common chornic illnesses from the nervous system. Fibromyalgia, CFS, Lyme and i can go on. I think it's all the same central nervous system root. But they don't or do little investigation. They only look for cancer and stuff. While these nervous system illnesses are more horror and debilitating then anything else.
If elon musk or bezos throw 40 billion on it they would find a cure for millions and millions of sufferers for sure.
But big Pharma will hire a hitmen then to kill the financier
fuck this
8evergo
Mage
- Oct 20, 2021
- 550
have everything you can have Multiple sclerosis to debetis and must with a CPAP so that I do not suffocate maybe someone has vodoo made against me who knows
DunnoWhyButYeah
~*-*~
- Apr 3, 2020
- 385
I have a few, but chronic nerve pain is the worst. Even now ... the pain is absurd. 7 years already.
RN12
Student
- Jul 25, 2021
- 180
me 2 burning nerve pain all over :( sucks
I live with Bipolar Disorder (Type I).
I've been unwell since I was a child, but didn't realize it until my early 30's when I had an episode of mania with psychosis. The depression after mania was terrible and lasted for almost a year.
I struggled to accept the diagnosis and tried my best to live a normal life.
I have never found a specific medication, or combination of medications, that alleviate my symptoms without causing other problems.
I have had two additional episodes in the last few years that really took the life out of me. I'm currently struggling to rebuild my life and have been contemplating CTB.
As you are likely aware, there is no cure for many mental illnesses. At best medication can help to alleviate symptoms. At worst, the medication can lead to additional problems and premature death.
I've been unwell since I was a child, but didn't realize it until my early 30's when I had an episode of mania with psychosis. The depression after mania was terrible and lasted for almost a year.
I struggled to accept the diagnosis and tried my best to live a normal life.
I have never found a specific medication, or combination of medications, that alleviate my symptoms without causing other problems.
I have had two additional episodes in the last few years that really took the life out of me. I'm currently struggling to rebuild my life and have been contemplating CTB.
As you are likely aware, there is no cure for many mental illnesses. At best medication can help to alleviate symptoms. At worst, the medication can lead to additional problems and premature death.
Bipolar Disorder 2, Astigmatism, Myopia, Migraine with aura and investigating a cardiac condition (inherited from covid and a family genetics largely favorable to heart failure).
It's going to count soon for something in the kidneys, livers or stomach (because my "methods" progressively destroy them)
It's going to count soon for something in the kidneys, livers or stomach (because my "methods" progressively destroy them)
I'm sorry friend
My nasal tissues and turbinates just swelled out the blue 12 years ago and I started getting constant pain and headaches. They have stayed this way since, not even one day of remission, and not even one day without pain. Surgery to make them smaller failed twice. The pain eats my ability to think, for memory, and for imagination.
I also have autoimmune thyroid disease which started at the same time as the pain.
My only hope right now is to find a clue with gene sequencing. I am waiting for sequencing results, but I will have to research the data.
I also have autoimmune thyroid disease which started at the same time as the pain.
My only hope right now is to find a clue with gene sequencing. I am waiting for sequencing results, but I will have to research the data.
I made my account after I got diagnosed with ibs. I now have been diagnosed with ic and chronic hair loss. I have always struggled with mental health since I was a child. My first attempt was little after my 13th birthday. I feel like the portrait of dorian grey in which my body is slowly matching my mind. I terrified of failing/ suffering in killing myself. I don't know how I can ever live a life worth living. I'm 23 and yet not at all. I have always wanted to die and because of that I never really planed for the future. I have no job, no college degree and I now have to treat myself gently in order to try to be content and healthy. I have never really partied or had a normal teens or twenties. I feel like I am very much a child but so very tired. I don't know how i feel so old and yet so juvenile. My only skill is avoidance. I want to have a more peaceful way of death but I can't seem to take the steps to get there. The world is not kind. The longer I avoid the worse the situation gets at 25 I will be kicked of my parents insurance. I don't know why I can't seem to kill myself even if my life is already hell. What is more pain. At least before I had physical health problems I could fantasize about getting better. Now it's much harder to ignore myself. I see vomit if I eat something that flares me, up all night peeing too. My hair clogs the drain so I have to clean it. Chronic illness are shit but add mental heath to it and you have disaster. I feel so helpless I don't know what to do
RN12
Student
- Jul 25, 2021
- 180
where you have it if i may ask. me all over especially legs
DunnoWhyButYeah
~*-*~
- Apr 3, 2020
- 385
Very similar to me. The feet and toes are the worst atm, but sometimes the pain is in the fingers and hands, on the face, legs... Depends on the day where the pain feels worst.
Bipolar type 2 (In remission), Borderline personality disorder, Obesity hypoventilation syndrome, Polycystic ovarian syndrome and (suspected by physiotherapist) osteoarthritis with occasional lower back pain which is the final ticket to my madness. The mood and anxiety issues are real, the insecurity is bad and subfertility, being on hormones to control the cycles as well as the pain and stiffness of an achy body while being in my 30s really helps with my sanity...
I suffered with GAD and BDD all my life but managed to live a good life despite this. My hair started falling out a year ago and I was scared of going bald so I took the drug Finasteride. Everything was fine for a month then I started getting hit with side effects. Quit cold turkey and sides got better. Was still concerned with my hairloss so tried again as half dose and sides were worse this time. Quit cold turkey and things improved but them my endocrine system crashed and I developed a rare disease call Post Finasteride Syndrome. I have 40 plus symptoms. Main ones being insomnia, tinnitus, severe anhedonia, emotional blunting, anxiety, depression, muscle wastage, joint pain, complete sexual dysfunction including shrunken genitals. There is no cure and many people deny it exists which adds to the suffering. I now have a benzo addiction but they dont provide any relief any more. I have literally lost everything. I am now a rational suicide as I cannot live like this until my natural death as my life is now constant suffering without any reprieve. It's a sick world we live in where an FDA approved drug can do this to someone. I wasnt warned by my doctor or the drugs label. I was only aware that there is a small chance of sexual side effects. I died the day I crashed. There are similar diseases called PSSD and PAS caused by SSRIs and Accutane. These are very rare diseases. I must have been genetically predisposed to hit this lottery and there was no way of knowing. Most people dont even believe me which adds to my suffering. I feel like it is the worst possible thing that could have ever happened. Much worse that death itself. I ask why and how everyday. I live with immense regret. I cry pretty much all day now and cant sleep. I feel like I am stuck in a sci fi horror movie.
I'm VERY sorry for your suffering. I say this as a retired nurse. never take any medicine unless you are fully aware of the side effects. Even though it may siave your life momentarily, you must know what is can do to you in the future. A true pharmacist will tell you more about medicine than a doctor will. Most are too busy to do their jobs correctly, and don't care much usually. Peace
RN12
Student
- Jul 25, 2021
- 180
almost same story. Severe physical hell because of SSRI meds. 30yo and disabled and lost everything my marriage my job cant barely walk anymore
i went to clinic for physical health. They did intake and i received their letter today about the intake:
Their letter stated:the man is anxious about his health and read a lot online about the so called protracted withdrawal syndrome. We can't help him because he is so fixated and anxious about his problems that the current passivity maintains the complaints and imbalance of the body. thanks in part to these experiences on these forums, these complaints FEEL as elusive. they incite worry about the future and a serious course.
Fuck this people and ignorant world i swear. Only this ignorance of these medical morons is enough to have severe suicidal ideation on top of the physical distress hell
i hope they+their children die painfull as well.
Im sorry for you mate. you're not alone
It's legal serial killing but nobody is hold responsible unbelievable. i want to harm them also. They killed me but i'm still alive..
Only tip i can give. is if you stop with the benzo. Taper really slowly 10% every 4-6 weeks. Benzo's can cause 'tolerance withdrawal' in some people very fast. Meaning that your body becomes tolerant and you are withdrawing while you dont even know it. and these symptoms are the same. Joint pain, fatigue, muscle weakness, blurry vision, insomnia, tinnitus. headaches everything. I dont want to scare you with it. But its important to know because these shit doctors dont know anything. Only benzobuddies.org knows and all it's members. They can advice on taper if you want. But dont let you discouraged by horror stories on the site off course. Everybody is different maybe you dont have taper problems at all.
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NormaJeane
Member
- Mar 24, 2021
- 648
It is sad that humans are forced to live with chronic pain and illness until they die of old age.
Hyperacusis, Tinnitus, Gastritis, Gastro paresis, Depression, Anxiety, IBS-C,hashimotos hypothyroidism, lpr reflux, herniated discs, losing my hearing, double vision, fatigue, Anosmia, photophobia, pneumonitis, high heart rate, tmj, atn, so much more
did the replaying of songs start after the tinnitus or hyperacusis or before?
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