Chronic illness - sick and tired

[medobun]

I'm sick and tired of this fucking life. I reference my story here.
My pain levels are beyond anything I experienced in my life. Since three days I get phases of hyperventilation. I increased my pain meds just so survive the whole day.
I just will be thankful if this shit ends. It's not that I'm tired of living or that I don't have any good time but my whole situations is just too much and I'm getting worser and worser. Having pain levels which are so high that you can't think any clear thought are something I'm not willing to accept, also my immobility is something I can't accept.

Regards from Germany!

 

[Mixo]

I am in almost the exact same boat. Chronic illness is such a bitch and chronic pain on top of it is just way more than most people can handle. It's not reasonable to expect anyone who this kind of unmitigated suffering to keep living and to suffer.

 

[Meditation guide]

I'm in the same boat, not one well day in 5 years. It does wear on a person.

 

[schopenh]

One of my biggest fears is the attempt being botched and ending up worse

 

[Deleted member 1465]

I'm sick and tired of this fucking life. I reference my story here.
My pain levels are beyond anything I experienced in my life. Since three days I get phases of hyperventilation. I increased my pain meds just so survive the whole day.
I just will be thankful if this shit ends. It's not that I'm tired of living or that I don't have any good time but my whole situations is just too much and I'm getting worser and worser. Having pain levels which are so high that you can't think any clear thought are something I'm not willing to accept, also my immobility is something I can't accept.

Regards from Germany!

I'm so sorry. People, especially doctors, just don't get how awful chronic illness is, especially if and when it becomes painful. Not only do you have to deal with the exigencies of chronic illness but also the depression and fear that comes with it. Lack of functionality, lack of mobility, loss of independence, relentless pain...no one can understand that until they have experienced it.

 

[YellowSneakers]

Chronic pain is all consuming. It swallows you whole. It changes you. You become it & it becomes you.
Battling chronic pain on a daily basis grinds you into dust.

 

[succor]

I empathize with your suffering and I'm truly sorry you're experiencing it. I understand how pain can wear your bones and spirit to nothing. I experience various types of pain every day, as well as cognitive impairment. It's a miserable way to live.

 

[Setepai]

I'm sick and tired of this fucking life. I reference my story here.
My pain levels are beyond anything I experienced in my life. Since three days I get phases of hyperventilation. I increased my pain meds just so survive the whole day.
I just will be thankful if this shit ends. It's not that I'm tired of living or that I don't have any good time but my whole situations is just too much and I'm getting worser and worser. Having pain levels which are so high that you can't think any clear thought are something I'm not willing to accept, also my immobility is something I can't accept.

Regards from Germany!

S

Chronic pain is all consuming. It swallows you whole. It changes you. You become it & it becomes you.
Battling chronic pain on a daily basis grinds you into dust.

In to Asbestos dust.... My situation!

 

[Predestinated]

I'm sick and tired of this fucking life. I reference my story here.
My pain levels are beyond anything I experienced in my life. Since three days I get phases of hyperventilation. I increased my pain meds just so survive the whole day.
I just will be thankful if this shit ends. It's not that I'm tired of living or that I don't have any good time but my whole situations is just too much and I'm getting worser and worser. Having pain levels which are so high that you can't think any clear thought are something I'm not willing to accept, also my immobility is something I can't accept.

Regards from Germany!

I'm from Germany too

 

[TooConscious]

Because of being ignored by doctors my life was ruined when it could have been the polar opposite at 18 it was destroyed by neglectful medical treatment.
I am now part of the opiod crisis. I turned to street heroin when the tablets ran out. I don't have a vein left. I am in constant agony from the genetic disorder not being treated early enough which caused other health issues, maintaining homeostasis is something alien to me.
All I can advise is please don't use opium. I'm stuck on a methadone script now and it's all my life became was this bloody syrup every morning to We have to accept nothing works but cannabis can ease with no negatives other than financially.

 

[rvsw]

I am taking Morphine for pain. Did you mean that when you said don't take opium

Because of being ignored by doctors my life was ruined when it could have been the polar opposite at 18 it was destroyed by neglectful medical treatment.
I am now part of the opiod crisis. I turned to street heroin when the tablets ran out. I don't have a vein left. I am in constant agony from the genetic disorder not being treated early enough which caused other health issues, maintaining homeostasis is something alien to me.
All I can advise is please don't use opium. I'm stuck on a methadone script now and it's all my life became was this bloody syrup every morning to We have to accept nothing works but cannabis can ease with no negatives other than financially.

 

[TooConscious]

I am taking Morphine for pain. Did you mean that when you said don't take opium

Well morphine is the strongest pain killer of all. If you have a continuous supply (no worry of obtaining it) then you're lucky (obviously not lucky that you have to take it to begin with) but in America doctors are notorious for getting people hooked on these substances then cutting them off so you go through as though it's a sick game. In the UK It can be the opposite where you need the stuff but they won't give it to you. In both cases you revert to street heroin.
This is because the elite pulling the strings control the drug market.

Nobody deserves substance withdrawal.

 

[medobun]

Because of being ignored by doctors my life was ruined when it could have been the polar opposite at 18 it was destroyed by neglectful medical treatment.
I am now part of the opiod crisis. I turned to street heroin when the tablets ran out. I don't have a vein left. I am in constant agony from the genetic disorder not being treated early enough which caused other health issues, maintaining homeostasis is something alien to me.
All I can advise is please don't use opium. I'm stuck on a methadone script now and it's all my life became was this bloody syrup every morning to We have to accept nothing works but cannabis can ease with no negatives other than financially.

Doctors can be so fucking harmful - physical and emotional. I would never be in my situation if a doctor treated me appropriate. Also medical neglect can harm u so much and in the end after fucking you up they suggest that you just live like that and nothing can be done for u.

 

[NodusTollens]

Having pain levels which are so high that you can't think any clear thought are something I'm not willing to accept, also my immobility is something I can't accept.

I can't put into words, how much I feel for you. It really does suck to have pain so bad you can't think, & you're definitely right about it being hard to accept. I'm sorry you know what that kind of pain feels like, I wouldn't wish it for anyone.

 

[TooConscious]

Doctors can be so fucking harmful - physical and emotional. I would never be in my situation if a doctor treated me appropriate. Also medical neglect can harm u so much and in the end after fucking you up they suggest that you just live like that and nothing can be done for u.

Exactly buddy... Or it can go the opposite and your numbers are way off scale you could be stitched together with glue and they'd declare you fit for work demeaning your illness so it doesn't look bad on them.
I wish I'd have been a nasty person who new someone who would've suggested complaining first time I was life threatening ill I was internally bleeding ( anyone who understands blood units will know that 14 in 48 hours is quite severe)
They would not even bring me bed pans so my theory is the aggravation of 40 minutes of struggle and terror to get to the toilet was aggravating/encouraging the bleeding.
I was 18.
I left that hospital feeling so helpless. No dignity and coincidently went down a path of self destruction.

Yet when I went in years later at 25 (looking 35) with chronic alcohol withdrawal I was treated well and kind despite self infliction, they wouldn't let me get out of bed other than to change the sheets, even offered to help me shower.

Life is a fucking joke. The scared kid who's done nothing wrong and is trying to be brave/hold it together gets disgust, the horror I felt suddenly dying, psychosis was setting in because I'd never been in a hospital environment before going straight to intensive care was bizarre.
Yet years on the ugly bloated steroid filled, stinking, pathetic self pitying, alcoholic.... actually gets respect?
That's humanity for you.

 

[Hyperbunny]

I understand where u r coming from. I got chronic pain after a surgery went wrong am now suffer really bad chronic pain. When pain isnt manage by meds I want to ctb straight away. Untreatable chronic pain is the worst thing to have imo. Endless suffering until u die

 

[blue_muse]

It's like a vicious circle because one can appear 'normal' but people have no idea about the effort one puts in to get through each day. Invisible handicaps suck.

 

[lost_soul83]

Chronic pain is all consuming. It swallows you whole. It changes you. You become it & it becomes you.
Battling chronic pain on a daily basis grinds you into dust.

I had dealt with chronic pain on a daily basis for almost 10 years when a doctor offered me opioids. I knew how addictive they were but I just needed some relief! I got it at first but then the opioids took almost everything from me. Now I've been stuck on methadone for almost 8 years. It's a little better existence but not much. But if I had to go back and do it again I probably would because of how bad the pain is.

Nobody deserves substance withdrawal.

I've been through opioid withdrawal more times than I'd care to think about. Now it's the daily methadone grind for me. But at least I'm not going through withdrawal.

 

[NormaJeane]

Suicide is justified for someone who has chronic pain because this is worse than a lethal disease, you will not die of it, there will only be meaningelss suffering.

 

[Ch92921]

I had dealt with chronic pain on a daily basis for almost 10 years when a doctor offered me opioids. I knew how addictive they were but I just needed some relief! I got it at first but then the opioids took almost everything from me. Now I've been stuck on methadone for almost 8 years. It's a little better existence but not much. But if I had to go back and do it again I probably would because of how bad the pain is.

I've been through opioid withdrawal more times than I'd care to think about. Now it's the daily methadone grind for me. But at least I'm not going through withdrawal.

I am going through a benzo withdrawal.

Can I adk how long your opiod wirhdrawal lasted?

 

[Buffy5120]

One of my biggest fears is the attempt being botched and ending up worse

I mean that's obviously whats going to happen so....

 

[FuneralCry]

I can relate to this. I have been suffering from multiple health problems recently. The human body literally is a prison. There is no limit as to how bad things can get and yet we are denied a peaceful dignified death. People shouldn't be forced to suffer.