Nem

Nem

Drs suck mega ass!
Sep 3, 2018
1,489
Holyfuckingshit, I am just dreading Christmas like a mofo. How are others opinion on this fake day of love and support? Is it bad to end your life just before this shit day?
Peace/hugs...DEATH!!!!!
 
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Wreck-it-Riley

Wreck-it-Riley

My demon will see me undone
Oct 20, 2019
269
My very first Christmas, and first time meeting a bunch of family, was at 14. I had a kids part time job, so my gifts to people were knickknacks. Grandmother pulled me aside before i went back to my group home, and told me the honest truth about Christmas. "We usually try to get gifts in the same price range, and some people were a little disappointing. I wouldn't expect a ton next year. It was nice to meet you, see you next year. "

First and last one. 15 years later and i still wont participate.
 
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I

I screwed up

Waiting for the damn bus
Sep 11, 2019
883
Festival times are always the worst ... Just hate the family get together stuff .... U want to be left alone With ur misery a d still.u need to pit up a happy face .. I hate it.
Edit: * put up a happy face
 
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M

mediocre

trapped here
Nov 9, 2019
1,442
I hate it sooo much!! fat santa, decorations, songs, snow... I hate it all. Christmas day is just boring af with family. Nobody does or says much. If I get any christmas carolers this year I'm telling them to f off through the letterbox! :hihi:

I don't think its bad to cbt at Christmas nor is it selfish. My birthday is around this time and I'd like to cbt around then.
 
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D

Deleted member 1465

_
Jul 31, 2018
6,914
Dreading it Nem. I'll be alone over Christmas. Nothing for company but shut Christmas movies on channel 5!
 
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vonvonwantpeace

vonvonwantpeace

Specialist
Jul 26, 2019
331
Haven't been excited about Christmas in years. I like the family get together tho.
 
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Stan

Stan

Factoid Hunter
Aug 29, 2019
2,589
Agreed, won't be around for this one which is a blessing.
 
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Slaanesh

Slaanesh

Memento mori
Oct 23, 2019
52
Being forced to talk to family members you hardly know is pointless.
Why do we suddenly have to do it because it's a "special day".

I just want to be left alone.
 
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SuicidalSymphonies

SuicidalSymphonies

I think I'll take a dirt nap.
Oct 13, 2019
1,028
I only celebrate it with my mum as it's her favourite holiday and the way she lights up like the christmas lights is too much for me to take from her until after. Her birthday is Dec 30th, too..

I always preferred Halloween for its dark undertones and acceptance of death and the dead.
 
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sad_frog

sad_frog

Member
May 21, 2019
97
I feel you OP. Fucking hate the holidays so much... I can't stand my family, I can't stand getting gifts from people, I hate the fake smiles because no one wants to admit that they're struggling. This year I have most of my family blocked and will be celebrating in my own way (if i hold on that long)..... Staying inside and smoking weed
 
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MourningHeart

MourningHeart

åæƒ
Oct 26, 2019
82
I was quite emotionless regarding holidays. But my wife tends to love them. And i loved to make her happy, to see her smile - especially at those holidays! Presents and stuff. Fireworks at new year etc.

So, if she hadnt left me, i would 'like' christmas. Going to ferris wheel with her. Buying roasted almonds. All she likes, you know. Its a wonderful gift not to be lonely, to have someone at your side in your life, to share everything.

But now, holidays are like a big fat punishment.
A really hard punch in your face.
I dont like/hate christmas time.
I'm dreading it so much.

I will likely CTB before that time comes. Sh*t...
 
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Woodnote

Woodnote

Goodbye
Oct 23, 2019
277
The holidays make me feel so sad since I'm always alone. I don't have all that happy family stuff but I wish I did. I'm trying to make it through to at least the new year since I have some younger family members that I don't want to ruin the holidays for. I can't ruin it for those kids. I might not make it but I'm trying.
 
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D

Deleted member 1465

_
Jul 31, 2018
6,914
We should have an ss Christmas party :sunglasses:
 
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takeyourshotfunboy

takeyourshotfunboy

Smile...
Oct 11, 2019
206
Many people CTB around Christmastime. Holidays like ValentineĀ“s Day and Christmas, that revolve around spending time with family and friends, are miserable for people like us who donĀ“t have any/
 
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Fragile

Fragile

Broken
Jul 7, 2019
1,496
I don't particularly hate it, but this one will be specially tough since i'm sure will be the last one. unless a christmas miracle happen!!!!... ok, i'm sure it will not be the case.

even though i've never been happy on christmas, i still have some bittersweet nostalgia for it, my mother loves that day and she always tried her hardest to make it special for out little family.

it sucks that every christmas after my suicide will be ruined for them, i'm pretty sure that i'll be crying all of that day because of it.
 
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Sweet emotion

Sweet emotion

Enlightened
Sep 14, 2019
1,325
Holyfuckingshit, I am just dreading Christmas like a mofo. How are others opinion on this fake day of love and support? Is it bad to end your life just before this shit day?
Peace/hugs...DEATH!!!!!
Well even though I don't believe in Jesus or am religious I've always loved Christmas. For me Christmas was always about the food. I'm Italian American so on Christmas Eve we would do the feast of the seven fished. My nonna would make an amazing cold seafood salad with calamari, octopus, shrimp. Then the next day we would have tons for things to eat. We'd all work every night about three nights before Christmas preparing the food. Stuffed mushrooms, crustini, all kinds of nuts, antipasto, all different kinds of cheese and salami, sausage and peppers. Those we're all the things to pick on beofr dinner. Then for dinner we'd either have manicotti or lasagna. Meatballs, pork bones, and sausage in the gravy. Yes it's called gravy when you out meat in it and when you don't it's a marinara sauce. For desert we would have cheesecake, cannoli, all kinds of Italian cookies, thumb print cookies with the jam in the middle, I'd make a few things for desert. And of course my grandma would always border these apples called Mrs prindables....covered in caramel and all sorts of delicious goodies. Best things in the world. And then we would make coffee and all that. And throughout December we eat tons if Panettone. It's a delicious sweet bread that is so soft and made with so much butter you just melt yourself. Some have dried fruit in it which I don't like. The original kind has raisins in it which I love. But unfortunately for the past 12 years I haven't been able to celebrate with my family. I was always in too much physical pain and all I had to do was walk right across the street. So now it's a very sad time for me. I loved looking for a tree with my father and and putting it up with my mother and watching my cats play with it. We would always watch the godfather parts 1&2.

Well my nonna was the one that always took so much pride in putting Christmas together as well as I did. And now that she gone and has been for ten years the whole family pretty much stays home. It's depressing. Because I loved Christmas. Even more than Halloween. It wasn't a fake day off love and support for us. We really enjoyed it. Omg sorry I went down memory lane.

I suppose it could ruin peoples holidays and not want to delebrste them anymore. Not my family because we have nothing good in our lives to celebrate. But other holidays though I don't think it's a big deal. Do it two days after the holiday.
 
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Astral316

Astral316

Specialist
Aug 26, 2019
332
I'm putting off ctb for one more Christmas... it wouldn't feel right if I didn't.
 
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noctiva

noctiva

the invisible girl
Nov 6, 2019
393
I was quite emotionless regarding holidays. But my wife tends to love them. And i loved to make her happy, to see her smile - especially at those holidays! Presents and stuff. Fireworks at new year etc.

So, if she hadnt left me, i would 'like' christmas. Going to ferris wheel with her. Buying roasted almonds. All she likes, you know. Its a wonderful gift not to be lonely, to have someone at your side in your life, to share everything.

But now, holidays are like a big fat punishment.
A really hard punch in your face.
I dont like/hate christmas time.
I'm dreading it so much.

I will likely CTB before that time comes. Sh*t...

I can completely relate to your post!
When I was a kid I hated Christmas, my parents marriage is in ruins but for 3 days a year they call each other sweet names and my mom ties my dad's tie and beats her eyelashes and.. Well, all pretending bullshit.
In my 20s I mostly forgot about it, don't love Christmas don't hate Christmas, I just didn't care.
But since I met my love, Christmas was wonderful. We made ginger bread with the kids during Christmas time, went shopping for presents, decorated the tree together, at night secretly packaged presents and decorated the house, giggling, bought a Finnish tonttu that we kept hiding around the house to surprise the other one, had a tonttu door. While I at the same time had my own secret preparations to surprise him, too. Just to see the look on his face when he realised that he means the world to me... It was absolutely wonderful and I have been looking forward to Christmas time since late. summer. Never had I thought it would be like this.

I will also ctb before Christmas. I will not go through Christmas without the man I love. I have gotten him presents (and am getting some for the kids too, of course!) that I'll leave for them. They are my family, they are my world.
We should have an ss Christmas party :sunglasses:
With n and sn drinking instead of eggnog and mulled wine?
 
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D

Deleted member 1465

_
Jul 31, 2018
6,914
It'll be a short party :I
 
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CrushedHopes

CrushedHopes

Ex-narcissist that is looking to end himself soon
Nov 3, 2019
471
Meh. Wouldn't even live long enough to see this year's Xmas.
 
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kappa

kappa

Experienced
Apr 2, 2019
233
Don't really feel anything about it. My family doesn't speak to me anymore so I don't have to do the whole holiday thing.

Will enjoy the free day off from work- probably just drink and play something on my PC.
 
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Divine Trinity

Divine Trinity

Pugna Vigil
Mar 20, 2019
310
I always call christmas "Capitalism Day", it's not even the season Jesus Christ was supposedly born in (late spring-mid summer).

In the 1800's Coke Cola changed Santa Claus' suit from green, the original elf color, to red as a marketing campaign. And just like every other federal holiday, you stuff yourself of meat, beer, and butter steadily eroding away your health, buy shit you don't need or want with money you don't have, and talk to people you don't like.

Greed, Gluttony, Envy, Lust, Sloth, and Pride; Christmas the most "sinful" day of the year. The irony is lost on most, but I do enjoy the aesthetic if nothing else.
 
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metalchic_74

metalchic_74

Gone Girl
Oct 26, 2019
260
F*ck Christmas I hate everything about it. I lost my mom on 12/19/08. I want to CTB before hopefully as soon as my SN arrives
 
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Throwawaysoul

Throwawaysoul

Wizard
May 14, 2018
606
I always call christmas "Capitalism Day", it's not even the season Jesus Christ was supposedly born in (late spring-mid summer).

In the 1800's Coke Cola changed Santa Claus' suit from green, the original elf color, to red as a marketing campaign. And just like every other federal holiday, you stuff yourself of meat, beer, and butter steadily eroding away your health, buy shit you don't need or want with money you don't have, and talk to people you don't like.

Greed, Gluttony, Envy, Lust, Sloth, and Pride; Christmas the most "sinful" day of the year. The irony is lost on most, but I do enjoy the aesthetic if nothing else.



You know what's up!
 
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SoupSnakes

SoupSnakes

Experienced
Nov 11, 2019
217
I basically used to be a fucking elf, I absolutely adored everything about Christmas. Couldn't give a shit about it this year and don't plan on being here for it :hug:
 
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TowerUpright

TowerUpright

Disillusioned
May 26, 2019
602
Not looking forward to it. Having to act like I am enjoying myself and happy for the kids.. Ugh. Or get yelled at by the wife on how I'm not being part of the family.

I'll probably be loaded up on Ativan.
 
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snowman626

snowman626

Mage
Jan 28, 2019
545
Festival times are always the worst ... Just hate the family get together stuff .... U want to be left alone With ur misery a d still.u need to pit up a happy face .. I hate it.
Edit: * put up a happy face
why do we always need to pretend we are okay? next time when its group picture time i'll be the only one not smiling. better yet just say fuck it and not even show up, if they nag on you tell'em to go fuck themselves, start throwing things around and breaking things in the house, show'em you have a serious problem. im sick of pretending to be fine and put on a "happy face" and them thinking its genuine
 
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BanaHigs

BanaHigs

Member
Nov 10, 2019
9
I'm the complete opposite for some reason, summer depresses the hell out of me
 
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