Are any of you actually lucky?

[TraumaEscapee:)]

Has anyone here got a very loving and safe family? If so I don't know why you want to CTB it could be for a range of reasons but please know you are very lucky.

There are people like me who were so horrifically abused by their birth family, that we are extremely lonely. I'm young and my birthday isn't far away but no one will come to it this year and most years I spend my birthday alone, the same for Christmas. I won't even get a Christmas this year if I make it that far.

If you've got a loving and safe family please appreciate how lucky you are. Please appreciate the warmth you receive, the never feeling lonely, the coming home to people and having company, love and affection. Sometimes we look at our lives and don't know how lucky we truly are.

People could say the same about me. I'm smart, beautiful, young, strong, resilient, went to a top university once. I'm not saying people with loving families shouldn't CTB I'm just saying I would give anything to even for a day to have a family who was loving and safe. Some people are living my wish.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I am sorry for your situation. Especially the abuse. I'm not sure anyone here could be considered lucky though. I imagine- to get to a point where you are suicidal, something's gone horribly wrong! But sure, some people's situations are bound to be worse than others.

My biological close family were very loving as far as I can remember but 3 of them had already died by the time I was 10. Maybe it's better to have loved and lost. I don't know. It's incredibly painful to loose people you love though.

Maybe we should all be grateful for the things we do have but, it's not always that easy. Plus, we only know what it's like to live our own lives. I think gratitude is easier to feel either when you've experienced something awful but circumstances improve or, you are happier in yourself and can genuinely feel that love and warmth.

I suspect there are some people here who do indeed have people that care for them deeply but- for whatever reason- they can't help them. To an extent, I have that in my Dad. I know he loves me and, I love him. I'm sure life would be even worse if he didn't. Still- there's nothing he can do to help me. Because I love him- I won't put him through my suicide. Honestly though, at my worst, it can feel like an unwanted tether.

There are always two sides to things. You can be in a situation where you have a loving partner, a loving family and yet, you still feel alone, absolutely desperate to suicide but you feel you can't. The guilt sometimes turns to resentment then- which tends to tarnish the love you know you ought to feel.

That said, as I said before, I do feel awful for your situation. It's heart breaking that any person should experience abandonment and abuse.