Story Choosing to just let go.

[kommsussertod]

I've suffered my entire life with mental illness and a lack of social interaction. I lost all my friends at 15 and became completely alone for 4 years. I met someone that was absolutely wonderful, the one person that made me reconsider my life. But after a year of marriage, they told me they no longer loved me and implied perhaps they never did. They were my best friend, my only friend. The only human being to truly understand me. They liked all the same things as me and we just matched so perfectly. I know that I won't be lucky enough to be blessed again in that way.

Living this life is not living at all. I have not been responded to about work or volunteering. I cannot afford college. There is nowhere to go, nobody to see. Look at the monkeys in Harlow's pit of despair… that's how I feel. And with the only human I love being with another person, I simply decided that this is a good place to call it quits ^_^

Harold and Maude inspired me a lot. I haven't picked a date because I still need people to sign my will (and for them to forget about my recent crying so they think I'm sound of mind). I have lost my appetite and I don't drink much water. I can hardly move. I hope that I can die somewhere beautiful, in the woods, in a planetarium, in an empty church. I don't think anyone will be around me.

For those who say that "life isn't worth quitting over some person!". I know. But it's not the person. It's the fact that I simply cannot be… human. I can't talk or interact with them without them turning me away, I can't feel any bonds to them anymore because I know they're going to hurt me, physically or otherwise.
I did look forward to college and such, but, my body is so tired. I've lost 15 pounds in a short amount of time, I can't stand up right, and my vision and hearing are going.

I made it to 20, everyone! I made it :)

Sorry for the rambling. For some reason I'm not only depressed but kind of just. Ok with this. I just need to talk to God a bit more. Wish me luck with finding witnesses for my will xD

 

[BlendedHeart]

It's the fact that I simply cannot be… human. I can't talk or interact with them without them turning me away, I can't feel any bonds to them anymore because I know they're going to hurt me, physically or otherwise.

This line went straight to my heart. This is also what I feel, every day. Couldn't describe it better.

I wish you peace, in whatever path you choose.

 

[OldDrummer]

Dude, I'm in my 50's. That God dude doesn't exist. He didn't make us, we made him.

 

[Linda]

If you ctb shortly after making your will, the will might be open to challenge by someone who argued that you were not, in fact, of sound mind when you made it. And the challenge would have quite a good chance of succeeding. Is anyone likely to challenge the will? That's basically asking whether there is anyone who would have benefited much more if you had not made a will.

 

[FuneralCry]

I wish you the best of luck in your plans, I hope that you eventually find the freedom you search for.

 

[kommsussertod]

Dude, I'm in my 50's. That God dude doesn't exist. He didn't make us, we made him.

Agree to disagree.

If you ctb shortly after making your will, the will might be open to challenge by someone who argued that you were not, in fact, of sound mind when you made it. And the challenge would have quite a good chance of succeeding. Is anyone likely to challenge the will? That's basically asking whether there is anyone who would have benefited much more if you had not made a will.

No, nobody cares about the will because I have no assets besides little trinkets that are worthless haha

 

[AkitoSad]

I've suffered my entire life with mental illness and a lack of social interaction. I lost all my friends at 15 and became completely alone for 4 years. I met someone that was absolutely wonderful, the one person that made me reconsider my life. But after a year of marriage, they told me they no longer loved me and implied perhaps they never did. They were my best friend, my only friend. The only human being to truly understand me. They liked all the same things as me and we just matched so perfectly. I know that I won't be lucky enough to be blessed again in that way.

Living this life is not living at all. I have not been responded to about work or volunteering. I cannot afford college. There is nowhere to go, nobody to see. Look at the monkeys in Harlow's pit of despair… that's how I feel. And with the only human I love being with another person, I simply decided that this is a good place to call it quits ^_^

Harold and Maude inspired me a lot. I haven't picked a date because I still need people to sign my will (and for them to forget about my recent crying so they think I'm sound of mind). I have lost my appetite and I don't drink much water. I can hardly move. I hope that I can die somewhere beautiful, in the woods, in a planetarium, in an empty church. I don't think anyone will be around me.

For those who say that "life isn't worth quitting over some person!". I know. But it's not the person. It's the fact that I simply cannot be… human. I can't talk or interact with them without them turning me away, I can't feel any bonds to them anymore because I know they're going to hurt me, physically or otherwise.
I did look forward to college and such, but, my body is so tired. I've lost 15 pounds in a short amount of time, I can't stand up right, and my vision and hearing are going.

I made it to 20, everyone! I made it :)

Sorry for the rambling. For some reason I'm not only depressed but kind of just. Ok with this. I just need to talk to God a bit more. Wish me luck with finding witnesses for my will xD

I wish you the best of luck in whatever path you choose to take. Good luck

 

[moshimoshi]

I've suffered my entire life with mental illness and a lack of social interaction. I lost all my friends at 15 and became completely alone for 4 years. I met someone that was absolutely wonderful, the one person that made me reconsider my life. But after a year of marriage, they told me they no longer loved me and implied perhaps they never did. They were my best friend, my only friend. The only human being to truly understand me. They liked all the same things as me and we just matched so perfectly. I know that I won't be lucky enough to be blessed again in that way.

Living this life is not living at all. I have not been responded to about work or volunteering. I cannot afford college. There is nowhere to go, nobody to see. Look at the monkeys in Harlow's pit of despair… that's how I feel. And with the only human I love being with another person, I simply decided that this is a good place to call it quits ^_^

Harold and Maude inspired me a lot. I haven't picked a date because I still need people to sign my will (and for them to forget about my recent crying so they think I'm sound of mind). I have lost my appetite and I don't drink much water. I can hardly move. I hope that I can die somewhere beautiful, in the woods, in a planetarium, in an empty church. I don't think anyone will be around me.

For those who say that "life isn't worth quitting over some person!". I know. But it's not the person. It's the fact that I simply cannot be… human. I can't talk or interact with them without them turning me away, I can't feel any bonds to them anymore because I know they're going to hurt me, physically or otherwise.
I did look forward to college and such, but, my body is so tired. I've lost 15 pounds in a short amount of time, I can't stand up right, and my vision and hearing are going.

I made it to 20, everyone! I made it :)

Sorry for the rambling. For some reason I'm not only depressed but kind of just. Ok with this. I just need to talk to God a bit more. Wish me luck with finding witnesses for my will xD

This is so heartbreaking to read. I can relate to so much of what you said. I was in a relationship with someone I loved deeply for 5 years, it turns out they fell out of love with me and they only wanted to get me pregnant in hopes it would make them love me again. I've lost so many people and so many things in my life, I feel so broken. It's horrible that you lost all of your friends at 15. You don't deserve all the pain you went through. I'm hella proud of you for making it to 20, that's honestly amazing. I'm 22 and I don't know how I've lasted this long. Sending you very big hugs

 

[Aprilfarewell4]

I've suffered my entire life with mental illness and a lack of social interaction. I lost all my friends at 15 and became completely alone for 4 years. I met someone that was absolutely wonderful, the one person that made me reconsider my life. But after a year of marriage, they told me they no longer loved me and implied perhaps they never did. They were my best friend, my only friend. The only human being to truly understand me. They liked all the same things as me and we just matched so perfectly. I know that I won't be lucky enough to be blessed again in that way.

Living this life is not living at all. I have not been responded to about work or volunteering. I cannot afford college. There is nowhere to go, nobody to see. Look at the monkeys in Harlow's pit of despair… that's how I feel. And with the only human I love being with another person, I simply decided that this is a good place to call it quits ^_^

Harold and Maude inspired me a lot. I haven't picked a date because I still need people to sign my will (and for them to forget about my recent crying so they think I'm sound of mind). I have lost my appetite and I don't drink much water. I can hardly move. I hope that I can die somewhere beautiful, in the woods, in a planetarium, in an empty church. I don't think anyone will be around me.

For those who say that "life isn't worth quitting over some person!". I know. But it's not the person. It's the fact that I simply cannot be… human. I can't talk or interact with them without them turning me away, I can't feel any bonds to them anymore because I know they're going to hurt me, physically or otherwise.
I did look forward to college and such, but, my body is so tired. I've lost 15 pounds in a short amount of time, I can't stand up right, and my vision and hearing are going.

I made it to 20, everyone! I made it :)

Sorry for the rambling. For some reason I'm not only depressed but kind of just. Ok with this. I just need to talk to God a bit more. Wish me luck with finding witnesses for my will xD

I am trying to come to terms with what is inevitable for me now. So I understand in a way. Good luck and I hope you have the strength you need