Children's Books about Suicide

[Alcoholic Teletubby]

After giving it some thought, I believe there should be more children's books written on suicide, whether it be regarding loss/grief or suicidal intent.

Although it may seem morbid, if any of us truly have suicide as our end aim, we need to think about the repercussions. This is besides it being mentioned later by relatives as a point of reference for the younger members of our family.

This subject is typically considered as something that only adults can comprehend. But that only results in a continuation of the same kinds of problems: If you don't make an effort to explain something to someone, they're less likely to be able to understand it in the future. Contrary to what some may say, kids are not stupid. They are constantly observing and listening to you.

I believe that if we have the means to, we might try to offer some type of justification for our choice. Not simply for logical reasons, but also in order for others to assimilate our ideas and get a better understanding of us or even themselves.

Luna's Red Hat by Emmi Smid and Rafi's Red Racing Car by Louise Moir are two books I've came across:


What are your thoughts on this?

 

[almaranthine]

Damn reading reviews and looking at book previews for these made me cry. Just imagining a poor confused and shocked little child trying to grasp the sudden loss of a parent is heartbreaking. I definitely think the authors of these works are very special for creating these types of books to help young kids understand and cope. Personally though, given my situation, I'm so, so happy I don't have any children myself...

 

[WaveringLight]

Well, I just watched someone narrating Luna's Red hat with the illustrations; I thought that the book was well done for its purpose. I felt that the explanations of the dad were sufficient in conveying the reasons why the Mom took her life, and they weren't too heavy for the Luna to bear. I feel like a child could understand it.

However, since it is such a morbid topic I feel that some kids, especially ones with psychological tramua or psychiatric disorders may have further divulge into curiosity as to how the Mom in the story took her life. And that may lead to them wanting to "be" with their loved one.

That being said, I feel that a potentially suicidal kid reading this book may understand their feelings more and might be able to get help for their mental state before it becomes too late in life. Understanding a problem is the key to solving it after all, if possible. So honestly, I'm not sure whether it would do more harm than good. Most like more good though, as you say.

 

[makethepainstop]

Really not sure what I feel about this. I suppose there are times when a kid might find these books useful. Never thought about this as I have no kids.

 

[Alcoholic Teletubby]

Just so everyone is aware, I have no intention of ever having children.

I imagined this scenario as what would occur if and when I ultimately decide to take my own life. My passing might come up at some point because I have at least two younger relatives (though they don't really know me).

I would like to help others in some way if I could, even through the means of my demise. I want someone to know that they weren't the only one having those kinds of thoughts.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I do agree with you I think. Just watched a YouTube video of a lady reading 'Luna's Red Hat' also and it was heartbreaking to imagine a child reading that with someone but at the same time, it's important to talk about these things.

I did actually lose my Mum when I was 3. Not to suicide- to cancer. I can't honestly remember any of the discussions we had about it (although there must have been some). I think children only really start grasping the concept of death between 5 and 7 apparently. Perhaps that's true- my Nana's death at age 10 (for me) was much more devastating at the time than my Mum's (age 3) or Grandpa's (age 4). I guess there were less memories to mourn with the earlier ones but by the time my Nan went, I really understood what it meant.

It's hard to picture what it would have been like reading a book about death and asking questions. I guess I must have asked questions anyway though. A book at least guides the way as gently as possible.

It was beautiful that it made it clear that it was no one's fault. I thought it was very sensitively done and very well written.

I guess it's my terribly pessimistic way of viewing the world but it kind of frightens me the amount of 'threats' children face now in general. (Partly why I don't have any either.) Just growing up in the shaddow of covid has got to be pretty odd and I'd have absolutely no clue how to protect a child from all the bad stuff online- including school bullies. I wouldn't have the first clue on how to prepare them for a world like this let alone support them through a loss.

 

[ShatteredQueen]

These books are very well done and do an excellent job of tackling this difficult subject in a child-friendly fashion. However, I agree with some others on this thread... The inevitability of my suicide is one of the many reasons I never had children. I recognize that no child should have to endure a parent's suicide if at all possible and that having me for a mother would be a horrible, unfair, cruel thing to do to any child.

 

[Alcoholic Teletubby]

I do agree with you I think. Just watched a YouTube video of a lady reading 'Luna's Red Hat' also and it was heartbreaking to imagine a child reading that with someone but at the same time, it's important to talk about these things.

I did actually lose my Mum when I was 3. Not to suicide- to cancer. I can't honestly remember any of the discussions we had about it (although there must have been some). I think children only really start grasping the concept of death between 5 and 7 apparently. Perhaps that's true- my Nana's death at age 10 (for me) was much more devastating at the time than my Mum's (age 3) or Grandpa's (age 4). I guess there were less memories to mourn with the earlier ones but by the time my Nan went, I really understood what it meant.

It's hard to picture what it would have been like reading a book about death and asking questions. I guess I must have asked questions anyway though. A book at least guides the way as gently as possible.

It was beautiful that it made it clear that it was no one's fault. I thought it was very sensitively done and very well written.

I guess it's my terribly pessimistic way of viewing the world but it kind of frightens me the amount of 'threats' children face now in general. (Partly why I don't have any either.) Just growing up in the shaddow of covid has got to be pretty odd and I'd have absolutely no clue how to protect a child from all the bad stuff online- including school bullies. I wouldn't have the first clue on how to prepare them for a world like this let alone support them through a loss.

I appreciate you sharing your experience.

I know it may seem a little ridiculous, but I believe that kids should learn how to defend themselves. I think that by doing this, some of the potential harm to them could be avoided. Vulnerability encompasses the concept of a child. Any methods of reducing that should therefore be taken into account.

I am aware that it can be detrimental to their mental health, but their lack of knowledge and education is what really puts them in danger.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I appreciate you sharing your experience.

I know it may seem a little ridiculous, but I believe that kids should learn how to defend themselves. I think that by doing this, some of the potential harm to them could be avoided. Vulnerability encompasses the concept of a child. Any methods of reducing that should therefore be taken into account.

I am aware that it can be detrimental to their mental health, but their lack of knowledge and education is what really puts them in danger.

Hmm, do you mean reading books like these and learning about death before anything bad has happened? Honestly, I'm not so sure- I don't really think you can prepare them for death or really any form of abandonment. Even adults tending the bedside of elderly, dying relatives can be shaken up when they finally pass.

I think reading books after a traumatic event may be a good thing- to open up lines of communication and address things the people remaining may not even be in a rational enough place to think about eg feelings of guilt and even anger.

Still, to do so before may just scare the shit out of the child for quite possibly no reason- if nothing that traumatic happens until they are older. I feel like the ideal is to provide a child with a loving, supportive environment. Perhaps not to the extent of pretending that there aren't bad things in the world but that they can count on at least someone in the family to be there for them. To let them in on the truth that at any moment, one of the people they love and need the most in the world could just vanish forever seems a bit cruel (to me). I imagine the child will grow up to be self sufficient but it may also mean they become afraid of forming any really close bonds with people for fear of them leaving.

Maybe you mean parents who are considering CTB should start preparing their children beforehand . I don't know. I'm not the best person to think rationally on this sort of subject. Too emotionally triggered really. Still, it's an interesting subject and viewpoint, so- thanks for posting it.

 

[Alcoholic Teletubby]

Hmm, do you mean reading books like these and learning about death before anything bad has happened? Honestly, I'm not so sure- I don't really think you can prepare them for death or really any form of abandonment. Even adults tending the bedside of elderly, dying relatives can be shaken up when they finally pass.

I think reading books after a traumatic event may be a good thing- to open up lines of communication and address things the people remaining may not even be in a rational enough place to think about eg feelings of guilt and even anger.

Still, to do so before may just scare the shit out of the child for quite possibly no reason- if nothing that traumatic happens until they are older. I feel like the ideal is to provide a child with a loving, supportive environment. Perhaps not to the extent of pretending that there aren't bad things in the world but that they can count on at least someone in the family to be there for them. To let them in on the truth that at any moment, one of the people they love and need the most in the world could just vanish forever seems a bit cruel (to me). I imagine the child will grow up to be self sufficient but it may also mean they become afraid of forming any really close bonds with people for fear of them leaving.

Maybe you mean parents who are considering CTB should start preparing their children beforehand . I don't know. I'm not the best person to think rationally on this sort of subject. Too emotionally triggered really. Still, it's an interesting subject and viewpoint, so- thanks for posting it.

Ah, sorry. I simply added that as a thought to the conversation. I was making reference to teaching self-dense to kids. I believe that a lot of the risks children are susceptible to could be reduced if adults educated them more. That appears to be a significant contributing element in cases where children were harmed. But once more, I'm sorry for just adding it.

I wholeheartedly agree with you on your approach. Children shouldn't have to dread the thought of losing a parent.

 

[theboy]

wow!