L
Ligottian
Enlightened
- Dec 19, 2021
- 1,024
Do you ever feel you were cheated or swindled out of a happy life? If only in a metaphorical sense?
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This is how I feel about my life rn and it's not a fun place to be. It all feels like I need momentum of an okayish or better life to get me to make better decisions consistentlyYeah. But I'll admit that a lot of my problems are indeed consequences of shitty decisions. Those decisions were driven by an already unfair life, though.
Some of this sounds very similar to my life… it sounds like you've had it a lot worse than me, but I can relate. I'm sorry that everything sucks so muchDefinitely YES. Dysfunctional family with alcoholic father and narcissistic, cruel, almost sociopathic manipulative sibling, I'm socially awkward and have severe depression and anxiety disorder(s) going back to childhood, and to top it off...so many physical health problems that began in childhood and have progressed and increased in number as I've aged. I was cheated out of EVERYTHING - even basic human enjoyments like eating, sleeping normally, having friends and building a career, even sex due to a disease I have that made sex painful and miserable experience. and I've endured physical pain essentially every single day due to my stomach problms and the aforementioned disease that destroyed sex for me. I have grown SO BITTER about being cheated out of what I see/have seen my peers and family get to experience and do and accomplish while I sat on the sidelines, suffering and continuing to hope for relief and help and healing that never came. I don't understand why some people are blessed with so much in life while others suffer greatly and don't get to experience even 1/10th of what the 'blessed' get to (and I know there are people who have suffered FAR MORE than I, so I'm not only talking about my own situation here).
Anyway, ';tldr: yes, I feel cheated and that feeling has grown into anger and bitterness and hopelessness to the point where I don't even want to hear about the successes and joys of anybody. A juvenile reaction I know but: "IT ISN'T FAIR". I tried so hard in this life but nothing ever worked for me nor did I ever get better or find relief. I just want it all OVER.
I'm so sorry to you all out there who also have been cheated out of the happiness and fulfilling life you deserved. You deserved better.