Venting chasing

[BLEH:3]

I chase and I chase and I chase, I chase some type of substance in my life, something to fill what I'm missing. Endlessly coming back to hobby's that only temporarily distract me from reality, drugs to dissasociate from everything and feel fine for once, relationships with people that will end up only hurting me in the end and whatever else there is. But nothing fills that gap, that gap of endlessly doing the same thing, for someone that couldn't care less for you just so you can meet your basic human needs.
I would rather CTB then live a normal life.
I hate everyone and everything.