What I observe is that you started out thinking that suicide was your way out of the situation. Back then, he could have used it against you. Back then, you were also much more caught up in what he was doing. You didn't feel you had any defense or escape. Shit's got to be bad when someone is wanting to escape.
But you worked throught that. You chose to go in a different direction. You can post on a suicide forum all you want, you're not expressing you're suicidal. You've only commented that you feel like he's trying to maneuver you into a position of suicide being the only way out, you didn't say you were accepting that position. If he invites others to look at your posts, he's inviting them to see things like that. He's inviting them to see criticisms of him, and all the ugliness of how he abandoned you and the kids, how you and the kids didn't have decent meals while he was shacked up with another woman, how he doesn't take ownership of his responsibilities, how bad he looks for these things, and for the things he's continuing to do, like planning to withhold rent so you and the kids are -- what the everloving fuck -- homeless so that he can get a win. And then he can have the kids and neglect them without interference, because of course it will be too much for him, and it will be their faults, your fault, everone and everything else's fault that he can't manage the situation he set up for himself, because he wanted you destroyed even as you do all the work of caretaking that he can't. Others he shows this forum to will see what a man-child he is. Then he might think, "Well, foster care would be better than that bitch." That will also blow up in his face. He's not some master manipulator, he's just gotten away with a lot of shit and now, by his own doing, he's gotten the attention of people who see throught it and won't let him act out with impunity. You're one of those people now, too.
I'm so glad the police and others saw what he was trying to do, that he tried to get them to focus on you in a negative way and they instead focused on what he was doing, trying to trap you and use them to harm you. They're not going to put up with being used by him.
You've acted in this space with authenticity, you've reached out for help and connection and received it, without watching every word, and your authentic actions have proven to be your refuge and your defense. There is a record of what he's done and how it's affected you. So personally, I don't see that you need to give up any freedom or expression, though I get if you want to tweak a bit. But in actual fact, your posts are a record against him, not against you. Aside from that, it fucking sucks that he's invaded this space, it's a violation.
That doesn't mean, however, that you have to change how you act in this space just because he's being a creepy stalker and peeping (stalking: DV behavior). Based on how things turned out, I think it would not behoove you, it's benefitted you. It would behoove him to recognize he is screwing himself by entering private areas where he is not invited, akin to peeping and rape, and to recognize that trying to use your very self against you is going to backfire against him. He is not a victim of what you do, and he is not a victim of you when he aggresses toward you and it backfires.
You've been holding your shit really well in the face of his onslaughts. This is one of those moments where it's tempting to back down. But changing your no, changing your boundaries, doesn't make things better, it makes them worse, because it reinforces to him that he has a sense of entitlement, and that he is "right."
I shared with another member what I got from something I just listened to about narcissists, about how they'll start fighting when their supply is being taken away, when the person they were feeding off of starts getting self-worth. The person was supposed to value them and therefore get their worth from them. The person isn't supposed to have self-love, they're supposed to love them, and work to earn their love, not one's own. When "the supply" (not a full human to the narcissist, but an object) starts focusing on the self, connecting with the self, valuing the self, and loving the self, it's like the narcissist's oxygen supply has been cut off, and they have SI -- they will have adrenaline rushes and will fight (you) to stay alive.
