SoulWhisperer
Careless Soul « MtF »
- Nov 13, 2023
- 359
I'll try not to divert into off-topic stuff and only mention relevant info with this. After about 3/4 years of thinking I have come to the decision that CBT would be the way to proceed in what my current life is, however after some research I have came to the conclusion that this is not as easy as I had initially thought, which kinda makes sense.
I gave myself time before the second half of the next year, but I cannot live daily without the stress of needing to understand what exactly to do. And all I know is that if I can't achieve my goal and I'll be stuck on a limbo I'll remain in an agonizing pain that will probably never stop, which is something I want to avoid at all costs.
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So here's a small list of all the thoughts/methods that crossed my mind and wondered which one would be more suitable and most importantly doable for me (I put any idea I had, even just the most improbable just to... Put if off my chest I guess.. however the bolded ones are the ones I believe would be the most accessible and suitable for me):
- Firearm to the head: I know the location of a pistol one of my relatives has, although it's behind a small locked vault, (If I had it I should just point to the side of my head and pull, no complications I guess)
- Hanging (Partial, as I highly doubt I'd have the resources for a full): I've seriously considered this a lot but I think my fear of it not being instant enough combined with my extreme lack of skills to prepare it would be my doom
- Fire (?): I know this is probably one of the worst things if not the worst of the list but I wanted to mention it anyway
- Train: This is one of the most probable ones, it should be an instant thing, right? Are there any complications I should be aware of for it to be successful or is it as straightforward as I imagine it?
- Free fall dive: I live on a two storey building, but access a building with 3 and live near a skyscraper with something I'd call a 100% success rate from a 20th floor. I think head on dive should be instant and not a continuous pain
- Cuts: Another improbable but method I wanted to mention is just this, nothing more to it, but I bet it would be quite long, troublesome and painful
- Meds Overdose: I live in a place where getting actual stuff is tough, I just have the most generic stuff ever that would probably make me feel a vortex of nausea and that's about it
If I can get a little insight on what seems more reasonable it'd be great. I wish I could go with hanging but I don't think I'd be able to pull anything that isn't instant unfortunately..
I gave myself time before the second half of the next year, but I cannot live daily without the stress of needing to understand what exactly to do. And all I know is that if I can't achieve my goal and I'll be stuck on a limbo I'll remain in an agonizing pain that will probably never stop, which is something I want to avoid at all costs.
--------
So here's a small list of all the thoughts/methods that crossed my mind and wondered which one would be more suitable and most importantly doable for me (I put any idea I had, even just the most improbable just to... Put if off my chest I guess.. however the bolded ones are the ones I believe would be the most accessible and suitable for me):
- Firearm to the head: I know the location of a pistol one of my relatives has, although it's behind a small locked vault, (If I had it I should just point to the side of my head and pull, no complications I guess)
- Hanging (Partial, as I highly doubt I'd have the resources for a full): I've seriously considered this a lot but I think my fear of it not being instant enough combined with my extreme lack of skills to prepare it would be my doom
- Fire (?): I know this is probably one of the worst things if not the worst of the list but I wanted to mention it anyway
- Train: This is one of the most probable ones, it should be an instant thing, right? Are there any complications I should be aware of for it to be successful or is it as straightforward as I imagine it?
- Free fall dive: I live on a two storey building, but access a building with 3 and live near a skyscraper with something I'd call a 100% success rate from a 20th floor. I think head on dive should be instant and not a continuous pain
- Cuts: Another improbable but method I wanted to mention is just this, nothing more to it, but I bet it would be quite long, troublesome and painful
- Meds Overdose: I live in a place where getting actual stuff is tough, I just have the most generic stuff ever that would probably make me feel a vortex of nausea and that's about it
If I can get a little insight on what seems more reasonable it'd be great. I wish I could go with hanging but I don't think I'd be able to pull anything that isn't instant unfortunately..
