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mjlondon88

Member
Sep 30, 2021
34
Here I am again. I was gone for a couple of months. I'm back feeling worse than ever.
I catartrophise all the time. A person should not be wired like this. I cannot live like this. I want it all to end. This is not a life.

I worry all the time about money and ending up on the streets. I don't know why I do this. I have more money than most people more than I need. It's not enough to never have to work m, but I should be great full and happy. Instead I just worry. I would trade everything I had to be a normal functioning person that went to work and was happy and could keep working forever. I am just not wired like that.

I don't know what to do. I just wish I had a heart attack
 
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Reactions: shrek34, Lostandlooking, onlyanimalsaregood and 1 other person
justwanttogo

justwanttogo

Member
Mar 20, 2022
31
my therapist told me once a person who doesn't have to do work wont be happy as a reply to me wanting to win the lottery... maybe you could do some unpaid charity work that will give you a better feeling or something
 
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Reactions: onlyanimalsaregood, shrek34 and SuicidallyCurious
FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
43,310
I'm sorry that you are going through this. Living can be very painful as our thoughts can torture us and I am scared of things getting worse for me. One of the most horrible things about this life is that there is no limit as to how bad things can get and just the fact that things can get so awful is enough to make me want to leave. It must be so tiring and stressful being in that situation, and I know that it can be hard to carry on when you are suffering so much. Life scares me overall and I have so much dread for the future. I wish you the best in whatever happens.
 
M

mjlondon88

Member
Sep 30, 2021
34
I just want to end it all. I know my thoughts are insane. But I can't function like a normal person does. A person shouldn't live like this. It's not worth it.
 
fox_wannabe

fox_wannabe

Enlightened
Jul 7, 2021
1,112
I just want to end it all. I know my thoughts are insane. But I can't function like a normal person does. A person shouldn't live like this. It's not worth it.
I have same problem but I am in college. I am peculiar mix of ADHD, bipolar and cPTSD which make me catastrophize all the time as I have been through a lot of trauma in the past. I am fatigued most of the time and going through the day makes It feel like a enormous effort with suicidal thoughts and hatred of life starting at the alarm clock.

Sorry for venting here but I also don't know what to do except for cutting corners whenever I can and bearing it somehow.
 
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Reactions: Lostandlooking
M

mjlondon88

Member
Sep 30, 2021
34
I have same problem but I am in college. I am peculiar mix of ADHD, bipolar and cPTSD which make me catastrophize all the time as I have been through a lot of trauma in the past. I am fatigued most of the time and going through the day makes It feel like a enormous effort with suicidal thoughts and hatred of life starting at the alarm clock.

Sorry for venting here but I also don't know what to do except for cutting corners whenever I can and bearing it somehow.
What do you cataztrophise about?
 
O

outrider567

Visionary
Apr 5, 2022
2,850
Here I am again. I was gone for a couple of months. I'm back feeling worse than ever.
I catartrophise all the time. A person should not be wired like this. I cannot live like this. I want it all to end. This is not a life.

I worry all the time about money and ending up on the streets. I don't know why I do this. I have more money than most people more than I need. It's not enough to never have to work m, but I should be great full and happy. Instead I just worry. I would trade everything I had to be a normal functioning person that went to work and was happy and could keep working forever. I am just not wired like that.

I don't know what to do. I just wish I had a heart attack
Had many nightmares in the past that I'd wind up in the slummy places I resided in in my youth--No financial danger of that actually happening but those were some bad dreams
 
M

mjlondon88

Member
Sep 30, 2021
34
Had many nightmares in the past that I'd wind up in the slummy places I resided in in my youth--No financial danger of that actually happening but those were some bad dreams
How did you stop?
 

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