Can’t wait to just fucking die

[Whole-Ad]

Yeah I'm done now. I don't care anymore. I'm sick of fucking being here and feeling like this all the time. I get told to 'distract' or 'occupy' myself, but what's the fucking point when it doesn't even work.

I watch something but I'm not even watching it, it's just background noise I can't focus on it or it's boring. I get no enjoyment out of it. Same with playing computer games. I spend the majority of my time either sleeping or laying in bed just wishing I was dead already.

I don't want to live a life where I have to be distracted 24/7. That ain't living. Things will never get better I know they won't. I've seen and heard other people who are 10 or even 20 years into their depression and things STILL AREN'T BETTER. In fact 99% of them wish they killed themselves earlier.

I'm done. If I hadn't promised I was safe tonight I would just hang myself right now.

 

[somebodyfromeast]

That's what I understand best. It's f!cking hard to live one more day. One more hour. Just one more minute. Darkness is gathering around and there is nothing beyond the reach of an outstretched hand. There is only some background noise. Which just drowns out the thoughts in my head just a little bit. More precisely, just one thought. We all know which one.
If I could allow myself, I would finish everything right now.
Thanks for your post.Thanks for sharing. It makes me feel a little better to know that there's another voice in the darkness that surrounds me. From the same darkness. Wanting the same thing as me. An end. Just a f!cking end to it all.

 

[F@#$]

Yeah I'm done now. I don't care anymore. I'm sick of fucking being here and feeling like this all the time. I get told to 'distract' or 'occupy' myself, but what's the fucking point when it doesn't even work.

I watch something but I'm not even watching it, it's just background noise I can't focus on it or it's boring. I get no enjoyment out of it. Same with playing computer games. I spend the majority of my time either sleeping or laying in bed just wishing I was dead already.

I don't want to live a life where I have to be distracted 24/7. That ain't living. Things will never get better I know they won't. I've seen and heard other people who are 10 or even 20 years into their depression and things STILL AREN'T BETTER. In fact 99% of them wish they killed themselves earlier.

I'm done. If I hadn't promised I was safe tonight I would just hang myself right now.

I'm one of the 99%

 

[kunikuzushi]

I feel the same. What am I even spending all my time and energy trying to distract myself for? It's not going to get better, and I don't even want it to get better because none of it will matter when I die. It's been 20+ years of constant pain for me, and I always think it would've been better to have killed myself sooner.

I'm sorry you're suffering so much, and I definitely feel you with no enjoyment from anything and doing nothing but wishing I was dead.

 

[FuneralCry]

I really understand, I just wish to be gone as well, all I want is to be free from this torturous and futile existence that to me is just suffering all for the sake of it, I hope you find the freedom you search for.

 

[Hollowman]

I could've wrote that.

 

[Liebestod]

In fact 99% of them wish they killed themselves earlier.

I don't want to end up like that, being old and wishing I just did it when I was younger.

 

[itsgone2]

It's true. I definitely regret not having done so earlier. One time on high I laid on train tracks and tried to sleep. Not a serious attempt just spur of the moment. I so wish I'd have taken it seriously.

 

[Alexandra_]

I, too, am very much looking forward to my last day. It's hard to live and hard to die. Life is cruel. I hope you find the peace you so dream of

 

[heyilikeicecream]

Yeah I'm done now. I don't care anymore. I'm sick of fucking being here and feeling like this all the time. I get told to 'distract' or 'occupy' myself, but what's the fucking point when it doesn't even work.

I watch something but I'm not even watching it, it's just background noise I can't focus on it or it's boring. I get no enjoyment out of it. Same with playing computer games. I spend the majority of my time either sleeping or laying in bed just wishing I was dead already.

I don't want to live a life where I have to be distracted 24/7. That ain't living. Things will never get better I know they won't. I've seen and heard other people who are 10 or even 20 years into their depression and things STILL AREN'T BETTER. In fact 99% of them wish they killed themselves earlier.

I'm done. If I hadn't promised I was safe tonight I would just hang myself right now.

you said it, brother/sister! hear ye, hear ye!!

no but seriously speaking, i'm so tired of trying to win this so called fight. i am also so afraid of my mortality and aging and the unknown future. it feels like i'm going insane with these fears! they take up my thoughts most of the time, so why not end it now? why should i still fight?