Can't take it anymore debating jumping in front of a train

[KuriGohan&Kamehameha]

A peaceful end is what I wanted but now where I'll be living is uncertain and everything has gone to hell in a handbasket. I loved my partner so much and he has gone and done this to me. Threatening me and then ignoring me, while I am begging and pleading with him to speak to me and not fight with me. 15 messages and still being ignored. No doubt he'll be kicking me out and breaking up with me.

I have NOTHING except a broken body and a broken brain. I try reaching out to people and they all say I just need to deal with living on my own and try to adjust, but I am physically and mentally so disabled, I need PHYSICAL HELP. Why are people so selfish? Why do able bodied Neurotypical people think disabled people can do what they can?

I wake up sick everyday, I'm sick right now and practically writhing in pain as I'm typing this because the accompaniment of fresh wounds and constant aching is beleaguring me horribly. Having worry and stress about what my boyfriend will do is eating away at me and its flaring my IBS up horribly.

Out of desparation I feel like I may have to jump in front of a train, because I cannot live with the threat of homelessness and the guarentee of further suffering hanging over my head everyday. Would it be painful to jump?

 

[Ender]

It might be painful. Nevertheless, whatever you decide, I wish that peace hugs you eternally.

 

[262653]

I don't know... jumping sounds too unpredictable to me. There is a risk of staying alive after being ran over in non-lethal ways.
I've seen people staying alive (not sure for how long though) with their lower part of the body torn apart in the stomach area.
I've seen some videos of train decaps in the past, and I'm considering it as my backup plan. Some trains have those thingies in front of them to push away garbage like human heads. I don't know for sure how would it affect the outcome.

 

[Deleted member 23885]

I wish you all the best in the future, whether you CTB or not. Life has also been full of suffering for me, and I think I'll suffer with depression and BPD for the rest of my life. CTB is too difficult, unless you aim a gun at your temple. So, I'll have to wait until I emigrate to America to ctb. Or at least seriously consider it.

 

[StateOfMind]

If the train is fast enough it should be quick and painless experience.

 

[Sslsh]

I would highly recommend you to consider placing your neck on the track over jumping. The exit would be clean and painless and you'll have 0% chance of survival

 

[Bxbrowler]

A peaceful end is what I wanted but now where I'll be living is uncertain and everything has gone to hell in a handbasket. I loved my partner so much and he has gone and done this to me. Threatening me and then ignoring me, while I am begging and pleading with him to speak to me and not fight with me. 15 messages and still being ignored. No doubt he'll be kicking me out and breaking up with me.

I have NOTHING except a broken body and a broken brain. I try reaching out to people and they all say I just need to deal with living on my own and try to adjust, but I am physically and mentally so disabled, I need PHYSICAL HELP. Why are people so selfish? Why do able bodied Neurotypical people think disabled people can do what they can?

I wake up sick everyday, I'm sick right now and practically writhing in pain as I'm typing this because the accompaniment of fresh wounds and constant aching is beleaguring me horribly. Having worry and stress about what my boyfriend will do is eating away at me and its flaring my IBS up horribly.

Out of desparation I feel like I may have to jump in front of a train, because I cannot live with the threat of homelessness and the guarentee of further suffering hanging over my head everyday. Would it be painful to jump?

 

[NormaJeane]

Jumping in front of a train is a risky method. You will be severely handicapped if you survive.

 

[KuriGohan&Kamehameha]

Jumping in front of a train is a risky method. You will be severely handicapped if you survive.

I have SN now, thank god.

 

[MyStateKilledMe]

There was a thread here earlier about CTB'ing by train. Instead of jumping in front of a train, it's better to headbutt it instead, but standing on the tracks with the upper body bent forward 90 degrees.

With jumping, the train hits a person's body at a random angle, which can toss it aside, risking the possibility of survival. With headbutting, the train hits the person's single point of failure: the head. Which results in nearly instant death from head trauma.

 

[FTL.Wanderer]

A peaceful end is what I wanted but now where I'll be living is uncertain and everything has gone to hell in a handbasket. I loved my partner so much and he has gone and done this to me. Threatening me and then ignoring me, while I am begging and pleading with him to speak to me and not fight with me. 15 messages and still being ignored. No doubt he'll be kicking me out and breaking up with me.

I have NOTHING except a broken body and a broken brain. I try reaching out to people and they all say I just need to deal with living on my own and try to adjust, but I am physically and mentally so disabled, I need PHYSICAL HELP. Why are people so selfish? Why do able bodied Neurotypical people think disabled people can do what they can?

I wake up sick everyday, I'm sick right now and practically writhing in pain as I'm typing this because the accompaniment of fresh wounds and constant aching is beleaguring me horribly. Having worry and stress about what my boyfriend will do is eating away at me and its flaring my IBS up horribly.

Out of desparation I feel like I may have to jump in front of a train, because I cannot live with the threat of homelessness and the guarentee of further suffering hanging over my head everyday. Would it be painful to jump?

I empathize with your desperation. I wish I had good advice. I do know the horror of being cast away by those you love and depend on. And being made to feel guilty because you depend on them. Or made to feel manipulative because you're honest. Seems like whatever we say or do, we're bad people to the outside world. Yet they won't let us leave peacefully.

And you're right--dealing with anxiety and depression and financial/housing insecurity and chronic physical pain all at the same time is overwhelming. Any one of them can be too much. All together? No, no, no. :( For what it's worth, I get it and send a hug. Hope something shockingly good happens for you very soon.

 

[userm23]

I would highly recommend you to consider placing your neck on the track over jumping. The exit would be clean and painless and you'll have 0% chance of survival

I want to do it only thing stopping me is fear of SI. That could lead me to get up in the wrong moment and boom, painful death. Also having to wait for a train to hit you...sounds boring but also super depressing. Idk how I'd deal with it

 

[RazzleDazzle]

I'd be concerned about traumatizing the person driving the train. I really wouldn't want someone else to have to live with "accidentally" killing me, that's sort of an awful thing to do to someone. It's death by a machine, yes, but it's a machine that's being operated by human beings, and it's not fair to make them become the unwilling instrument in someone else's death.

 

[FTL.Wanderer]

I want to do it only thing stopping me is fear of SI. That could lead me to get up in the wrong moment and boom, painful death. Also having to wait for a train to hit you...sounds boring but also super depressing. Idk how I'd deal with it

These are my feelings, too. Damn SI and the hell of waiting-knowing-thinking.

 

[stellabelle]

A peaceful end is what I wanted but now where I'll be living is uncertain and everything has gone to hell in a handbasket. I loved my partner so much and he has gone and done this to me. Threatening me and then ignoring me, while I am begging and pleading with him to speak to me and not fight with me. 15 messages and still being ignored. No doubt he'll be kicking me out and breaking up with me.

I have NOTHING except a broken body and a broken brain. I try reaching out to people and they all say I just need to deal with living on my own and try to adjust, but I am physically and mentally so disabled, I need PHYSICAL HELP. Why are people so selfish? Why do able bodied Neurotypical people think disabled people can do what they can?

I wake up sick everyday, I'm sick right now and practically writhing in pain as I'm typing this because the accompaniment of fresh wounds and constant aching is beleaguring me horribly. Having worry and stress about what my boyfriend will do is eating away at me and its flaring my IBS up horribly.

Out of desparation I feel like I may have to jump in front of a train, because I cannot live with the threat of homelessness and the guarentee of further suffering hanging over my head everyday. Would it be painful to jump?

I really hate to read this because it looks like something I would write.
yes I imagine it would be painful. Not what you want to hear either, I know. I'm sorry.

 

[mentalhealthfighter]

There was a thread here earlier about CTB'ing by train. Instead of jumping in front of a train, it's better to headbutt it instead, but standing on the tracks with the upper body bent forward 90 degrees.

With jumping, the train hits a person's body at a random angle, which can toss it aside, risking the possibility of survival. With headbutting, the train hits the person's single point of failure: the head. Which results in nearly instant death from head trauma.

Cant they stop the train if they see you standing in front of it?

 

[RazzleDazzle]

Cant they stop the train if they see you standing in front of it?

Depends on how fast it's going etc. It's an extremely large, heavy object moving with momentum along low friction rails. Throwing on the brakes isn't going to bring it to an instant halt, and if someone jumps out in front of it or is waiting around a bend, there might not be enough reaction time. Same thing with a car - the driver might respond if you jump in front of it or are waiting in its path in a low viability area, but they might not be able to react fast enough to avoid hitting you. Imagine having to live with that. It's not a very kind thing to do to another person.

 

[MyStateKilledMe]

Cant they stop the train if they see you standing in front of it?

Highly unlikely. Trains have a very long braking distance. And even if they slow down, the impact will still be deadly enough to kill.

Remember the momentum formula from high school physics: p = m*v. That's momentum = mass * velocity. The greater the momentum, the greater the CTB effectiveness. More momentum = harder impact = likelier death.

Trains weigh thousands of tons/tonnes. So even if it magically slows down to pedestrian speed, its mass will make up for it, and it'll be deadly upon headbutting. But don't worry about it. The train braking technology is limited. If a person enters the tracks while the train is 100 feet (30 meters) away, there's no way in hell it'll be able to slow down even by 10 mph (16 km/h). The train CTB is a very effective method. The only difficult part is the moral factor of forcing the train driver to be your CTB instrument.

And people say they won't need high school science in real life. (dark humor here)

 

[Yolanda]

I have SN now, thank god.

From where