Ah, I wish that I had some effective coping mechanisms that I could share with you! Unfortunately the utilization of healthy coping skills has never been a strong suit of mine, hence why I’m here.
I guess what helps me to not care as much about my past is that I’ve completely stopped caring about my future as well... I eventually reached a point where I was like “nothing matters in the grand scheme of things”, and stopped placing so much significance on my interactions with people because of it. It’s certainly not foolproof; I still lie awake at night on occasion and torment myself with painful recollections from my past, but if there’s one thing to be gained from existential nihilism it’s that I’ve stopped holding myself and others to the same standards that I used to.
You have a really nice way of expressing yourself, and really fluent at putting thoughts into words! I can barely type lol thanks for this response! Unfortunately for me i haven't reached any conclusions which make me not remember my past mistakes and go in loops in my brain, yet. It's been like this for almost a whole year and I know i can't get past this.
I can relate also. And as someone else said (and I hated it when people said this to me also) time may help.
We can not change our past, and this is just as pertinent whether you are the victim of abuse or perpetrator of abuse.
What is perhaps possible is to take time and take opportunities to change what happens from here. That will be a different choice for everyone but something I have seen help is to do something good for someone else. And repetition is key here because the repetition of behaviours reinforces our feelings and experiences.
Nothing changes what has gone before but sometimes there is a way to see more clearly that we are not just the sum of our past ... but 'evening' out our intentional experiences may help us learn to live more peacefully with our mistakes.
I know what you mean, but I really doubt time will heal this. I still have thoughts of bad things i did like 3 years ago, and I can't change it. I think i have reached the point where i do not even want time to heal this, I just want my existence to end. I consider myself lucky in a way that i haven't killed or destroyed someone's life, but i have created emotional pain to a few people which i cannot forgive myself for. And like i said, i don't want to forgive myself for it, i need my life to end to hopefully never return to this place.
Same here. A couple of years ago I said some horrible things during times of stress that caused me to lose friends and one of my jobs, but yet I was stupid enough to spend time with toxic people that only made me feel worse. By the time I cut those people out of my life, it was too late and the damage was already done. I wish I could go back in time 3 years, to before any of it happened and stop it from happening, but I can't.
Yep, same situation for me. Started hanging out with toxic people (good people i think, but they just are very lost and insensitive to everyone else) and life just took a very different turn for me. Do you think about this a lot? i get it at night time before bed every night and it is driving me insane. I guess our lives were supposed to be this way, there wasn't any other way. Awesome pic btw, used to listen to them a lot years ago!
why is everything in 1 reply?